Football Ramble

We know what you’re thinking, 'the curse of the Ramble and all that', but it’s a new year and that means fresh beginnings. Ladies and gentlemen, RUBEN AMORIM HAS BEEN SACKED! Listen to today’s Ramble to hear Marcus, Luke, Pete and Jim’s reaction to the news. Plus, Nancy and Nuno continue to struggle, Callum McFarlane excels and is the great escape on for Wolves? Find us on  Bluesky ,  X...

Everyone bangs about new beginnings when the new year rolls around *cough* Jake Humphrey *cough*, but at Ramble HQ, we actually mean it. David Cartlidge is here making his long-awaited My Biddy Aunt debut! Today, Cartlidgtenstein declares war on Jimbabwe, with Pete manning the buttons. Will it be a debut win, or will Jim's natural bloody charm swing it? Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  I...

Enzo Maresca is set to embark on a new career as a novelist. Will his first book be a tragedy by any chance? Today, Pete, who is still covered in Christmas Pâté, is joined by Jim and David to share their thoughts on Chelsea’s decision to part ways with Enzo Maresca. Plus, there is extremely devoted fans and political turmoil at AFCON. Would we wish for anything else? Find us on  Bluesky ,&nbs...

Happy new year Ramblers! Whether you're nursing a hangover like Pete or nursing a sugar crash like Marcus, we've got the tonic for you today with some of our favourite moments from Ramble Uncut over the past 12 months. On today's episode, José Mourinho seeks vengeance against Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Clint Hill may or may not take pills, and Carlos Quieroz cannot shake his appetite for Sir Alex Fe...

In case you weren't aware, Arsenal won quite convincingly against Aston Villa on Tuesday night. On Monday, Luke suggested they were running out of steam. But fortunately, Marcus would never be petty enough to remind him about that. For the final time in 2025, Marcus and Luke put the Premier League under the Ramble microscope! It turns out there's still time for PUGMOL to get one more sternly-worde...

Look away now, West Ham fans - we’ve got to have a chat about how poor they’ve been this season, with the real threat of relegation looming over them. Rest assured that Marcus, Luke and Pete lay the lion’s share of the blame at the owners’ door after years of mismanagement. Elsewhere in more positive corners of correspondence, we settle on this year’s best players - based solely on vibes - and rou...

Marcus, Luke and Pete slide gently into the Christmas perineum, with a barn-burning round of Barclays representing the nuts and Speller’s game of England player charades probably signifying the bum.  Across that round of barn-burning we saw Villa’s burgeoning title charge as Arsenal continue to splutter, Ryan Cherki keep the vibes pumping at the Etihad and Ruben Amorim finally change his form...

We're back with another sack full of clips highlighting the very best moments from the second half of 2025. We've got everything from the Lambton Worm to Manchester United's Grimsby woes, plus some tips Andrew Mountbatten Windsor can take from Trent Alexander-Arnold. Plus of course, that fabled round of Jack's Encyclopaedia. Thanks to Patreon members Allan Odu, Todd Fitzgerald, Sean, Deadfox(InThe...

Fear not, the Ramble is here to fill the Premier League-shaped hole in your Boxing Day! Across two parts, Marcus shares our very favourite moments of the year. From Ruben Amorim’s vengeance against the humble television, to Ian Rush’s vengeance against … well everyone, there's fun for all the family! Come join us. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok &...

Merry Christmas Ramblers! As you enjoy a glass of eggnog on this fine day, remember, it's your Christmas too. So move away from the turkey, step back from the mulled wine, and enjoy a little gift-wrapped prezzy from your old pals at the good ship Ramble. After all, it's either that or having another uncomfortable conversation with dodgy uncle Steve who you only see once a year. Not even on Jesus'...

Marcus, Luke and Jim bring you good Ramblings on Christmas Eve! They discuss Arsenal's confidence and bank account-boosting win against Crystal Palace last night and look ahead to the best of the Christmas action, including ONE Boxing Day fixture. We are outraged. We also salute the Rangers fan who chose to watch Elf in the stadium instead of their own team, and an even bigger salute for the fan i...

It's probably fair to say at this point that Wolverhampton Wanderers are as dead as a dodo. Two points from 17 games and staring relegation right down the barrel. But will they end up being the worst Premier League side we have ever seen? Marcus, David and Jim debate whether they can reach the lofty heights of Derby County's 11 Premier League points. Plus, should we embrace 'ultras' culture in Eng...

Big Mama Premier League gifted us a barn-burning weekend right on the eve of Christmas. Gosh, we must have been good this year. Today, Marcus, David and Jim revel in the enjoyable chaos of Newcastle 2-2 Chelsea and the less-enjoyable chaos of Tottenham 1-2 Liverpool. Plus, David goes to war against 'modern football'... Gift a Football Ramble Patreon subscription this Christmas: https://www.patreon...

Thanks to the assistance of multiple NGOs, Luke has agreed to temporarily withdraw his troops from the My Biddy Aunt battleground. That allows the Kingdom of Spelgium to safely take on the Principality of Donaco under the watchful eye of Jimbabwe's international police force. Is it finally time for Pete to get a win on the board, or can Marcus continue to cement his place as the game's second best...

How can Everton use glue to beat Arsenal? What did Wayne Rooney send Duncan Ferguson in prison? Have FIFA really started deciding the result of games by committee? Join Marcus, Jim and Pete for The Preview Show. Gift a Football Ramble Patreon subscription this Christmas: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble/gift Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and ...

Marcus and Pete had to be kept apart after Newcastle and Fulham did battle last night. Today, they were joined by Jim to unpack another night of sweet Carabao.  Elsewhere, Wilfried Nancy is the next manager to behave like a Facebook mum on social media. Plus, Jim launches a campaign to create an award for the highest overhead kick ever. Gift a Football Ramble Patreon subscription this Christm...

We’re into the business end of the Carabao! Although there wasn’t an upset last night, Marcus, Pete and Luke give Cardiff their dues for a spirited performance against the World Champions. Elsewhere, barns are still burning - and Kobbie Mainoo still isn’t free - after Man United drew 4-4 with Bournemouth on Monday. Plus, Marcus develops his five-year plan to get Brother Brendy to manage Fulham. Gi...

It's going to cost a lot of money to go to this summer's World Cup. So what will happen to the atmosphere at games? And just how many people on X are going to tell you that it's actually perfectly justifiable to charge hundreds of dollars for a seat in Row Z? Marcus, Luke and David return to Friday's discussion about the true cost of the 2026 World Cup. Plus, is Unai Emery the best Premier League...

What’s more bleak? Newcastle’s derby day performance or the thought of Pete Donaldson spending his Sunday afternoon in an indie club? Today, Pete left Marcus, Luke and a very smug David Cartlidge a voicenote - from said indie club - with his unfiltered thoughts on proceedings. Plus, we take joy in the fallout between Jamie Carragher and Rio Ferdinand and start to wonder: are Arsenal having a wobbl...

After weeks of feverish anticipation, Jack's Encyclopaedia returns! And there are a couple of absolute s**t-offs in this one... Pete of Donaco adjudicates a re-run of the Luke Nation vs the Kingdom of Speller. After a week of scrutiny, Mo Salah at last gets his own Jack's Encyclopaedia category, while Daryl Janmaat definitely doesn't. Poor Daryl. Come join us for the ultimate showdown of the weeke...

Pete’s got a new haircare routine! It’s got him in the mood to gorge on some festive Europa League action. Today, he's joined by Marcus and Luke for a delicious European buffet. Elsewhere, we tuck into the upcoming Tyne and Wear derby. Plus, the FIFA posse have announced their World Cup ticket prices and Samuel Eto'o has found himself in the middle of a quite baffling situation in Cameroon. Find u...

A big night in the Champions League, but an even bigger night for the Official Martin Keown Fan Club here at the Football Ramble. Seriously though, it's gone too far. Pete, Jim and Luke pick over last night's action and crimes against commentary, plus Pete's incredibly well-received DJ sets in Topman. They then enter a surprisingly deep camel racing rabbit hole after Paul Pogba invests in a camel...

The Mo Salah drama rumbles on after Liverpool win in Milan with the Egyptian King ™  stuck in the gym at home. But why is Marc Cucurella really to blame for all of this? Marcus, Jim and David discuss that on today’s Ramble. Elsewhere, Pep Guardiola is unusually cheery as he stirs the already boiling pot at Real Madrid. Plus, Craig Bellamy doubles down on his feud with Jesse Marsch. Find us on...

We all know that feeling. Standing there in the pouring rain, watching your team get absolutely battered and thinking to yourself, "what a massive waste of money." But should that mean you're entitled to your money back? Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to mull over that very question. Plus, is there too much emphasis on history in football, and in honour of Vish's trip down under, what's the furthes...

On the latest edition of the Liverpool soap opera: Leeds grab a late equaliser and Mo Salah gives an explosive interview. Today, Marcus, Jim and Luke are on hand to unpick all of that. Plus, we offered a detailed assessment of Rio Ferdinand's World Cup draw hosting and ask the question on everyone’s lips: are Aston Villa on the verge? Find us on  Bluesky ,&n...