Football Ramble

Marcus, Pete and Vish take a long swig from the weekend’s cocktail of Premier League, FA Cup quarter-finals, and free-scoring goalkeepers. Man United were terrorised by Kelechi ‘What Are You Looking For’ Iheanacho and Youri Tielemans as Brendy Rodgers marked his 100th game at the King Power in style. Elsewhere, Carlo Ancelotti strangely decided to conceal the opposition from his players as Man Cit...

At least Joe Hart thought it was a job well done.  Marcus, Luke and Vish are here for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We pick through the wreckage of Spurs’ disastrous exit from the Europa League last night as Dinamo Zagreb discover a new version of the manager bounce and José Mourinho enters full self-defence mode. We’re also itching to discuss the England squad, which features a coup...

Kate, Luke and Vish discuss last night’s action after Chelsea swatted aside what Joe Cole called “a top Championship side” (brave) as well as any common sense around VAR. The heartwarming football news doesn’t stop there: Kinglsey Koman’s been fined for using the wrong supercar, while Lionel Messi has been turned into an AI message bot. Plus, Dinamo Zagreb Zoran Mamić nobly falls on his sword afte...

Marcus, Pete, and Andy reflect on last night’s Champions League happenings as Man City activate their FIFA ’99 bug and Pep Guardiola takes a decisive lead in a pointless statistical battle. We get more numbers from Opta’s Pete Donaldson, discuss Sergio Ramos’ tribute to Robbie Williams, and - oh yes - revel in the news that Alan Pardew is interested in the Pompey job. Plus, we premiere a listener’...

Disappearing ballboys and peeing refs: it’s the magic of the cup in Brazil. Jules, Andy and Jim are here to run the rule over last night’s action, as Jürgen Klopp hailed a dirty win for Liverpool, James Milner broke pre-historic stats, and Leo Messi spun his silk in Spain. Elsewhere, we check in with the England U21s as another prospect bails on Gareth and discuss the extreme lengths Edward Woodwa...

Two teams with absolutely zero game management = a cracking North London derby. Marcus, Jim, and Pete get stuck into a veritable fry-up of football! While José Mourinho lamented his big players ‘hiding’ and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang got stuck in traffic with the Home Alone cast, Erik Lamela was his usual chaotic self at the Emirates. Elsewhere, Kelechi Iheanacho had a lovely old time against Sheff...

Arsenal provided a tantalising taste of the chaos to come this weekend last night. Marcus, Vish and Luke are here to put it under the spotlight - warts and all - on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We discuss Chris Wilder’s mooted exit - far from ideal preparation for facing a pizza-fuelled, pint-filled Jamie Vardy on Sunday. We also look forward to West Ham’s visit to Old...

Liverpool slipped into their comfy old Champions League jumper last night, but Julian Nagelsmann's get-up was sadly very ordinary. Marcus, Andy and Vish are in situ today to digest it all! We check in at the Parc de Princes too, where Lionel Messi was doing some violent things to a football and Poch Spice was showing some 'little videos'. Hm. Plus, José Mourinho has some very special plans to trea...

Father Time’s shadow looms over us all on today’s episode of the Ramble, as Cristiano Ronaldo’s quest for glory stuttered once more and Erling Haaland gleefully smashed more records and more opposition defenders.  Kate, Andy and Luke look back over last night's Champions League and reflect on the past year of football, with fake crowd noise and bubbles replacing molten pies and unfit linesmen...

Football - aka Gianni Infantino’s tasty gobstopper - stops for no one. Especially Pete and Jim, who are back in the studio with Kate to talk Chelsea and West Ham’s latest scalps! On the way, we discuss why Leeds are tapping up LL Cool J and what is being claimed to be one of the worst games of football ever played in the Bundesliga. Mustafi was involved, shock. There’s also time for the world’s mo...

Jules, Jim and Pete tuck in to another spicy serving of Barclays action, as the relegation zone casts increasingly dark shadows over Newcastle, West Brom and Brighton.  Ole Gunnar Solskjær continued his march towards “yeah, he’s decent” status with another win over Pep Guardiola, while Gareth Bale’s sexy man bun propelled him and Spurs to new heights (sixth). Elsewhere, Michael Owen and Neil...

Welcome to The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Thomas Too-cold pulled it out of the bag again last night, but Marcus, Luke and Andy follow Ashley Cole’s lead and remember to thank Frank’s foundations.  We check in with the chaos at Newcastle, as Steve Bruce takes an interesting approach to diplomacy and Jonj’s Stockholm syndrome worsens. Elsewhere, we look ahead to Full Force Fulham’s visi...

Kate, Andy and Pete are here to look back on a momentous night for Sheffield United and a very, very boozy one for Chris Wilder.  There sadly won’t be the same jubilant scenes in Ghana, as we check in with the church of Paul McGrath. Meanwhile, Crystal Palace vs Man United was so bad even Mother Nature tried to conceal it from our eyes. We also discuss Jamaica’s incredible swoop for talent, w...

Pep Guardiola’s team-branded outerwear has kept him warm throughout Man City’s victorious charge through England’s wintery “hell” – and last night they won again, obviously. Kate, Vish and Jim are here to ask why Wolves didn’t simply play dead and hoped to come away with a draw, before sounding the Dwight Gayle alarm over at Newcastle. We also get into Chris Sutton’s plans to save refereeing, some...

JWP’s not firing, Southampton need KWP back, and DCL wreaks some havoc. Jules, Luke and Pete cast their eyes over some airport codes and another drab display for the Saints. Thankfully, Barcelona brought plenty of spice yesterday, as some club VIPs have reportedly been arrested for paying a company to disparage current and former players online. Més que un club ’n all that. We also check in with t...

Marcus, Jim and Vish are here with just enough time to bid Sam Allardyce farewell, seeing as West Brom will need to sack him before registering another home league win. Sorry, Big Sam, them’s the stats.  Elsewhere, we got a nostalgic reminder of safer times across the rest of the weekend’s action, with both Willian and Gareth Bale looking more like their old selves. Then, Man City reminded us...

Marcus, Luke and Andy settle in after the Europa League’s usual mix of the good, bad and ugly to look ahead to some tasty Premier League ties. Join us for The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Ahead of a tricky test at Chelsea on Sunday, Man United gave some young players more minutes last night – the rest of the academy went to Lee Sharpe’s for a 2000-person BBQ. Liverpool and West Brom desperat...

As it turned out, the main sparkle in Man City’s autonomous win over Borussia Mönchengladbach could be found on the sidelines. Kate, Luke and Pete are here to give Pep Guardiola’s ghastly jacket the kicking it truly deserves. Spurs also continued their leisurely stroll into the last sixteen of the Europa League with another win over Wolfsberger – even Dele Alli and Gareth Bale scored some nice one...

Despite VAR’s best efforts, parkour enthusiast Olivier Giroud took a break from his modelling to score an absolute worldie in last night’s Champions League. Kate, Jim and Andy are here to revel in the beauty of the man and his goal. Elsewhere, we rue Jamail Musiala’s decision to represent Germany rather than our brave boys - when have those serial winners ever even won anything? We also check out...

Like a wise old panther used to a heist or two, Roy the Boy comes away from the Amex with all three points. Vish and Pete have the unenviable task of trying to restrain Jules on today’s Ramble! We look back at the smouldering wreckage last night but also look ahead to better times: being together in the summer, sharing in England’s latest catastrophe and listening to Zlatan Ibrahimović’s concert w...

It seems Duncan Ferguson’s chaotic Ying and Carlo Ancelotti’s ice-cool Yang is the perfect recipe for a historic derby win for Everton. What a result for the Toffees! Marcus, Vish and Jim are here with more news from the Barclays, as Man City win again and Fulham are snapping at Newcastle’s heels. Elsewhere, Jesse Lingard’s relentless vibes keep the West Ham party going, Ryan Shawcross swaps Stoke...

After a quick whip around the remaining European action, we look ahead to a proper spicy weekend of Premier League football on today’s episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Marcus, Vish and Luke wonder whether The Punisher (Gareth Bale) will start against West Ham, as cool cat José Mourinho has started hanging out with the youngsters. Elsewhere, Jurgen Klopp has been stoking the fires...

Like an Ehantharajah PE lesson, everyone’s abandoned the title race and pitched up in the beer garden. Marcus, Andy and Vish react to Man City’s latest cruel display, which had our favourite football tactics pervert purring over Bernardo Silva. Elsewhere, Fulham’s optimism was ground down at Burnley and we take a closer look at how Dyche deals with snakes in the dressing room (it’s absolutely brut...

A lads’ trip to Budapest looks to have done the trick for Liverpool’s knackered squad, as they swept aside RB Leipzig and a peculiarly underdressed Julian Nagelsmann last night. Kate, Luke and Pete are here to settle back into that comfy armchair on today’s episode of the Ramble - join us! We also marvel at the imperious Kylian Mbappé, whose classy hat-trick left the Barcelona defence berating eac...

Steve Bruce insisted that nothing about Newcastle’s approach would change without Callum Wilson – and seeing how they underwhelmed and lost handsomely, perhaps he’s right…  Jules, Jim and Andy are here after Chelsea’s clock finally struck Timo Time and David Moyes cast out those poor Sheffield United souls, thus making them available for his next doomed voyage. Elsewhere, there’s chaos in the...