Football Ramble

Man City fell at the final hurdle and thus the Brassell prophecy is complete: Chelsea are champions of Europe, while Pep Guardiola is left frantically drawing up plans for a more sturdy 6-4-0 formation next season. Marcus, Luke and Vish are to here tuck in to club football’s final tasty offerings as Brentford at long last break into the Premier League (and win Vish’s stony, cold heart) and Blackpo...

Tactics friends turn tormented enemies this weekend, as Pep Guardiola and Thomas Tuchel lock nerdy horns in the Champions League final. Marcus, Vish and Pete look ahead to this continental clash on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We also get an important Jamie Vardy: The Movie update, with Hollywood's elite jostling for a position behind the camera. Elsewhere, Slaviša Jok...

The stars aligned and put on their respective shirts, but Unai Emery - the World's Nicest Bond Villain™ - got his hands on a fourth Europa League trophy last night at Man United's expense. Kate, Andy and Jim pore over 21 beautifully struck penalties and David de Gea's meagre effort, before revving up the managerial merry-go-round. That's right: Zizou and Antonio Conte have left town, Jürgen Klinsm...

Jules, Andy and Jim are down at the Wembley docks, waving off Gareth and his brave barge of 33 England warriors. We wonder who's a certainty for the starting XI and whose injuries or inexperience might drag them off the barge and into the chilly waters below. We also look back on Sergio Agüero's unbelievable legacy and what he'll mean to Premier League fans in years to come, while Jules insists th...

The end of the Premier League season can only mean one thing here at Ramble HQ: it’s predictions time! We see which of Marcus, Jim and Pete had a terrible time (spoiler: they all did). We also wonder what’s next for Nuno Espírito Santo and Wolves after their amicable split, while Real Madrid are looking to offload 12 players, Zinedine Zidane, the new stadium and their “Super League Winners 2022/23...

Far be it from us to hype up an England prospect now the Premier League has finished, but... Joe Willock? Marcus, Pete and Vish race through the big stories from the final weekend of the season, with Leicester missing out on the top four and West Ham whipping their passports out for the lads. Elsewhere, the chickens came home to roost for Barcelona and Chelsea, as Luis Suárez and a 99 Flake with r...

Well, we've made it: it's the final weekend of the Premier League season! Marcus, Andy and Luke give you the runners and riders in the race to qualify for the Champions League - and avoid the Conference League - on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Scores need to be settled elsewhere too, with Mo Salah vs Harry Kane the undercard for Luke Moore vs Salty Sam Allardyce. We al...

Blink and you'll miss him, ladies and gents: five minutes after West Brom's relegation and Sam Allardyce has said he won't be back next season. Jules, Andy and Jim brace themselves for egotistical tell-alls and some Euro 2020 punditry. Elsewhere, the European royal rumble continues as sides desperately try to finish either fourth or ninth, nowhere in between. We also tentatively praise a surprisin...

Thomas Tracksuit Tuchel got his revenge on Leicester with a seismic win in the race for next season's Champions League. That being said, Kelechi Iheanacho completed a perfect goalscoring week with a game to spare, which is indeed the real quiz. Marcus, Vish and Pete also celebrate the return of fans, with Brighton snatching a great win from under Pep Guardiola's massive cigar and Edinson Cavani di...

Vish and Pete are here to rate Harry Kane's prospective suitors after news of his desire to leave Spurs emerged yesterday, while Kate stares into the middle distance and wonders what's the point of it all. Elsewhere, it's advantage Bournemouth and Swansea City in the Championship play-off semi-finals after delicious goals put the Final in touching distance. There's also a fitting tribute for forme...

A cracking weekend of football meant a Steve Bruce attacking masterclass has been pushed alarming far down today's running order. Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to try and squeeze it into a packed ol' Ramble! Brother Brendy emerged triumphant from a ridiculously tense FA Cup final, with Kasper Schmeichel and Youri Tielemans providing the moments of magic. Elsewhere, Chelsea were blown away by some...

Marcus, Vish and Luke arrive with a load of suggestions to help Ole Gunnar Solskjær tighten up United's defence: keep an eye on Fred, mark Thanos at the back post, etc. All that and a load more on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Elsewhere in dreamland, Leicester will be hoping to make history and snatch the FA Cup trophy from the desperate clutches of Chelsea's Kepa Arriz...

Arsenal scored what might be the most chaotically awful goal of the season to keep their Europa Conference League fire flickering. Jules, Luke and Andy pour scorn over that blaze after some bizarre comments from Mikel Arteta in the post-match. There’s plenty of time for other nonsense elsewhere, as Plymouth’s vaccination queues inadvertently snake towards Argyle’s club shop and Sir Alex Ferguson g...

Do you remember when Man City were languishing in 13th and we all thought Pep Guardiola had lost it? Kate, Jim and Andy let off some indoor fireworks to celebrate their remarkable title win. Leicester's stanchion-loving Luke Thomas sealed the deal for City, with his goal helping the Foxes towards next season's Champions League. We also give owls some more deserved stick, get a Derby County update...

All their pretty passing and Scott Parker’s svelte knitwear couldn’t keep Fulham in the league, unfortunately. Marcus, Pete and Vish are here to pick through the gently flickering embers from this extremely prolonged car crash.  Speaking of svelte, Edinson Cavani has booked another year on Ole’s Fun Bus – which is now protected by 35-foot concrete walls and Navy SEAL patrols outside Old Traff...

That’s a wrap on the English Football League, as Wayne Rooney slips into a warm bubble bath in front of Sister Act II and Florentino Perez makes a tantalising offer to endlessly yo-yoing Rotherham. Kate, Jim and Pete are here to look back on a dramatic weekend! Big Sam furiously edits his CV after West Brom slip through the trapdoor, while Thomas Tuchel outmanoeuvres Pep Guardiola’s indecipherable...

Kate, Luke and Pete celebrate a momentous anniversary on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway. Fifteen years ago today, Spurs ate that lasagne! Ah, good times. Back in the present, Arsenal suffer an embarrassing knockout at the hands of Unai Emery and Edinson Cavani dragged his Man United teammates to their first final under Ole Gunnar Solskjær. Marcelo Bielsa also needs some n...

Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to help smuggle Eden Hazard out of Stamford Bridge under a big jacket, such is the furore that awaits him back in Madrid after Chelsea swept aside a threadbare Real Madrid. They’re coming for you, Eden.  Elsewhere, we revel in the glorious rumours linking famed basket case Gennaro Gattuso to famed basket case Newcastle United, get a Mario Balotelli update and wo...

PSG just about had enough men left on the pitch to see out the end of a seismic defeat to Man City last night, with Phil Foden's uncanny Lionel Messi impersonation particularly enjoyable. Kate, Luke and Vish also assume that Rome won’t be rebuilt in a day, especially with José Mourinho at the helm of AS Roma next season, and we prepare for a relegation humdinger in the Championship. We also give s...

Big Sam spent all of last night's draw with Wolves just settling scores - first with his careers advisor, then with Sammy Lee after he shook himself dry like a dog. Jules, Vish and Jim are here to paint the bus for the Greatest Escape celebration™️. Elsewhere, West Ham dream of continental crusades after Michail Antonio's goals put them a step closer to the Europa League. We also look back over th...

Marcus, Jim and Andy are here to answer the important questions around the protests that postponed Man United vs Liverpool: what does this mean for the Glazers? Will we see this across the Top Six? Why did nobody bring a ball? Some matches did take place elsewhere, as Kai Havertz’s knocked one of Fulham’s feet into the grave and Sergio Agüero reminded us all what we’ll soon be missing. We also tak...

Marcus, Luke and Andy head straight for the studio after catching last night's encore from Now That's What I Call Man United '99. We take stock of their win and Arsenal's lucky escape on today's episode of The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! We also look ahead to some Premier League humdingers, as Fulham desperately search for a lifeline - while Newcastle stroll off into the sunset - and Liverp...

PSG and Man City served up a cracking game in last night’s Champions League that has Kate, Jim and Andy in footballing soft power purgatory over which horse they're backing.  We also get an update on the movers looking to shake Arsenal from the hands of the Kroenke's and, with football’s biggest names set to boycott social media this weekend, we look at how these calls for action can no longe...

Chelsea put one cultured boot in the Champions League final after an impressive performance in a Madrid monsoon, despite more wayward finishing from Timo Werner. Jim has had to pull himself and a suspected broken rib out of Regent’s Canal to join Jules and Vish to get stuck into it all! Elsewhere, Joey Barton confirms he’s just going to ignore Bristol Rovers’ confirmed relegation and Portsmouth fo...

Death, taxes and Kelechi Iheanacho netting in 2021: only one of those gives us that tingly feeling. Marcus, Pete and Vish jump on Leicester’s wholesome hype train, calling at all stations to the 2021/22 Champions League. We also concern ourselves with Arsenal’s new altruistic suitors, who include a tech billionaire and an Invicibles tribute act. Elsewhere, Spurs’ prime targets opts for Bayern Muni...