Football Ramble

With high-profile transfers being increasingly scrutinised by the football media machine, we wonder why it’s so difficult to properly assess new arrivals to the Premier League without allowing them time to bed in. I mean, remember Dennis Bergkamp’s first season at Arsenal?! Marcus, Vish and Jim get stuck into that. Plus: what should Aston Villa realistically expect from Unai Emery and this team? W...

When it comes to bears, if it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, goodnight. And if it's a Daniel Farke Care Bear?  Marcus, Pete, Jim and Vish issue their advice on that, try to stamp sexy shoulders out of the game, crown Liverpool Sporting de Club Set Piece, and launch Pete's brand new TV show in Moldova. There's also an unwelcome visit from the Spirit of the Game at...

After a meeting of the Ramble intercontinental senate, it's been decreed that the Ehantharajah Empire has simply been too powerful in the My Biddy Aunt arena of late, so a game of Jack's Encyclopaedia is the task this week. The belt is up for grabs with Marcus taking on Vish. Jim's on the whistle for this one. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and  YouT...

It's the weekend everybody! And we've got a chocker Fri, Sat and Sun full of football goodness. Arsenal host Chelsea in the big one on Sunday. As both sides prepare for it, John Terry asks once again: "Why am I not the Chelsea manager?" There are probably a few reasons for that, JT. Marcus, Jim and Vish preview that. Plus, Ryan Yates attempts to calm his ravenous sausage dog, André Onana eyes a re...

On a night where Vinícius Júnior didn't need to answer to anyone, he did anyway with a brilliantly taken winner against Benfica. The dance goes on. Pete and Luke are joined by David Cartlidge to look back on the action across Europe last night – including further depressing scenes on both sides at the Bernabéu, as David explains. José Mourinho behaves like a prat too, of course. We also unpack per...

Those Qarabağ boys didn't go down without a fight! Newcastle already had one foot in the round of 16, which allowed Eddie Howe to give Nick Woltemade a run out in midfield. It wasn't pretty, but I guess it kind of worked? Pete tells Marcus and Jim why Newcastle need to be patient with big Nick. Plus, Bodø/Glimt deliver a huge shock as they knock Sporting Clube de Inter Milan out of the Champions L...

A nice light, noncontroversial one to kick off today’s Mailbag: are multi-club ownership models a necessary evil in modern football, or a blight on the game’s very essence? Marcus, Luke and Vish tackle that one first, before diving into some of the lighter questions you’ve chucked us over the last week. What are some nice bits about modern football? Where would we choose to finish our own career?...

Arsenal are back in the driving seat after a comprehensive 4-1 win over their North London rivals. Big Igor Tudor... what kind of disaster have you walked into old pal? Luke was our agent on the ground at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium and he joins Marcus and Vish to tell us all about it. Plus, Crystal Palace fans bring out the bedsheets and Fizzer auditions for the Mayor of Portland. Find us on&nb...

After Marcus was humiliated, embarrassed, trounced (take your pick) by Vish last weekend, the honourable Republic of Jimbabwe is entering the field to bat against the Ehantharajah Empire. Speller will be reffing - it's Vish versus Jim for the My Biddy Aunt belt. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and  YouTube , and email us here:  show@footballrambl...

Vítor Pereira got off to a stunning start at Nottingham Forest by beating Fenerbahçe 3-0 last night. First the... Europa League play-off first leg win, then the pints? The Fire Man is back in business. Marcus, Jim & Vish are here to recap that win and preview the weekend’s action. Plus, Martin O’Neill goes on a generational rant about the state of Scottish football, Cesc Fàbregas rolls back th...

The Arsenal boat is desperately trying to find some more timber and generate enough steam to power them to that elusive Premier League title. Today, Pete, Luke and Jim reflect on a night where Arsenal's biggest flaws were all exposed. Elsewhere, Newcastle were rampant in Azerbaijan and Jesse Lingard's gap year continues. Get your Ramble merch HERE Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagr...

The Champions League is back! Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim review an evening that was disappointingly overshadowed by allegations of racist abuse in Benfica vs Real Madrid. Rest assured, José Mourinho covered himself in no glory whatsoever. Elsewhere, Newcastle prepare for an historic two and a half thousand-mile journey to Baku. Plus, Marcus’ Thomas Tuchelitis is getting worse than ever. Get your...

And will they even need saving? Marcus, Luke and Vish ponder on the latest victim in Spurs' hot-seat. At least any potential Tudor chant can't be any worse than a new England song sent in by a concerned listener trying to stage an intervention for his mates. Don't worry, we'll tell them the truth. We also discuss Jim Ratcliffe's comments and why the FA and Premier League absolutely must not hesita...

Marco Bizot, where were you going? It was nice of him to try and take the attention off Chris Kavanagh. Today, Marcus, Luke and Vish are here to pick through a controversial FA Cup weekend. Elsewhere, there was a good old-fashioned cupset for us to enjoy at Turf Moor. Plus, Marcus has a thing or two to say about Vish’s Instagram content. Get your Ramble merch HERE Find us on  Bluesky , ...

As we approach Valentine's Day, we're dropping Jack and his frankly unromantic encyclopaedia, and we're bringing in our lovely Biddy Aunt. The Marcus Mount and the Ehantharajah Empire enter the bedroom, but who will walk out with only the belt wrapped around their waist? Jimbabwe's on the buttons for this love-in. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and ...

Well, well, well, ladies and gents. We've got our title race back. Arsenal dropped points once again at the Henry Hoover Stadium. Four points is the gap now... you can hear those North London bums squeaking from miles away. Jim wallows in the wake of that defeat draw with Marcus and Vish. Plus, we've got a whole load of FA Cup action to dive into. Get your Harry the Haddocks out again, we're ready...

The merry-go-round won't stop for anyone. Sean Dyche is the latest Premier League manager to be sacked, and Pete, Luke and Jim are here to revel in the chaos. Elsewhere, Crystal Palace find new ways of falling apart and James Milner's "vanity project" is almost over. Plus, Tim Sherwood has been linked with the Tottenham job. (Source: Tim Sherwood) Get your Ramble merch HERE Find us on  Bluesk...

It’s happened again, a Premier League manager was sacked mid-Ramble. We must thank David Ornstein for his tireless work. Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim got to explain why Spurs must get rid of Thomas Frank and then react to the news that he’s been sacked. Elsewhere, the other Frank keeps his hair and we hear of a scandal in the Maldives. Get your Ramble merch HERE Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,...

Despite some amazing highs over the last few years - including some apoplectic hangovers for Donaldson - plenty of you have been asking if Newcastle have gone as far as they can under Eddie Howe. So should they move on? Or do they just need to make some alterations elsewhere?  Marcus, Pete and Vish get stuck into that and have a right old barney about which teams are having a poor season by t...

Liverpool 1-2 Manchester City, everyone did their job, the rules were applied, good process. But how do we really feel about it? That's what Marcus, Vish and Pete are here to unpack on today's Ramble. Despite all that, we want to make sure Dominik Szoboszlai's free-kick never gets forgotten. Plus, Daniel Farke is hitting all the right topics and Ian Holloway strikes again. Get your Ramble merch HE...

The Ehantharajah Empire reigns supreme over the Ramble galaxy, having crushed the Luke Nation and Marcus Mount since it's return to the world stage. But it's facing renewed opponents this week as the Jack's Encyclopaedia belt is once again up for grabs. The tax-free Principality of Donaco has the whistle for this clash between Vish, Marcus and Jim. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instag...

The weekend is here ladies and gents, and Big Dada Premier League has been kind with his offering to us this week. Man United vs Spurs, Liverpool vs Man City, AND Leeds vs Nottingham Forest. Oh yes, those barns will be toasting come Monday. Marcus, Jim, Pete, and Vish are here to preview the weekend's action. Plus, the extraordinary story behind Paul Merson's fiercest rival, Linford Christie, and...

Manchester City eased past Newcastle to set up a Carabao Cup final with Arsenal. The master meets the apprentice. Today, Marcus and Luke consider how the result of the upcoming Carabao Cup final will impact the rest of the season. Plus, we find out whether you really can find a car parking space that is more expensive than the League Cup prize money. Get your Ramble merch HERE Find us on  Blu...

Arsenal are through to the Carabao Cup final! Were Chelsea’s tactics understandable or unforgivable? Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim gather in the Football Ramble rumpus room for a good old-fashioned debate on just that subject. Elsewhere, Crystal Palace overpay for Jørgen Strand Larsen, Cristiano Ronaldo goes on strike and Luke warns everyone to be more considerate of trees after Cole Palmer's ongoin...

The bottom of the Premier League is looking more wide open than we’ve seen it in years! West Ham, Nottingham Forest, Leeds, Palace, and Spurs are all at risk of the drop (sorry Wolves and Burnley, you’re already doomed) - but who is actually going down? Marcus, Luke & Vish are here to answer that. Plus, would Spurs win League One? And could a team of 11 Niclas Füllkrugs bring the Premier Leagu...