Football Ramble

Jules, Luke and Jim feast on a ten-course Barclays banquet, as a brilliant Brentford swept Chelsea aside and Eddie Howe's 'no fear, no idea' management style came home to roost.  We also get a postmortem from Steve Bruce after the worst game he's ever seen and ask what will come first: a start for Marcus Rashford or relegation for Frank Lampard? Tweet us @ FootballRamble and email us here:&nb...

After a brief trip over to Speller International Island, we’re welcoming the return of the Premier League on today’s Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Kate, Jim and Andy look ahead to a potential title twist – that's if Goth Hodgson fails to drag Liverpool down into the darkness in the weekend’s opener. We also ask how to improve Dele Alli’s fortunes, wonder if Leicester can fade upwards and catc...

The final pieces of the World Cup puzzle are coming together this week, so Marcus, Andy and Luke settle in with some updates.  Mexico and USA punched their tickets last night, while we saw the unveiling of the tournament's Pocket Rocket 5000 matchball and more ludicrous dismissals of human rights abuses in Qatar. Back home, Joe Hart's opened up about Nuno giving him a pasting and five subs co...

England cantered past Ivory Coast thanks to a vintage Serge Aurier display, in spite of the Boo Boys at Wembley who gave Harry Maguire a hard time. Jules, Luke and Jim discuss the England team’s reaction to Harry Maguire’s treatment and get stuck into some huge World Cup qualifiers across Europe and Africa, as Cristiano Ronaldo squeezes through the net while Mo Salah misses out. Still, at least he...

Ahead of a delicious smorgasbord of World Cup qualifiers, Kate, Vish and Pete are here to tell you everything you need to know – and quite a lot of stuff you don’t, to be honest. They speculate on Wilf Zaha’s celebration plan, Marcus Rashford’s career plan, and all plans go out of the window as Pete returns to the dials for Portmantonio Conte! Plus, Ronaldo becomes music conductor and the entire N...

England threw it back to Euro 2020 all over again: coming back from 1-0 down thanks to a late soft penalty at Wembley. In Gareth we trust. Marcus, Vish and Pete tuck into a buffet of International football, as Greg Rusedski is faced with a dilemma after Canada seal their spot while Mumcini gets stuck into Roberto Mancini in the wake of her son’s exit from the race for qualification. There’s also t...

Well what a night of international football! Roberto Mancini and his gloved posse have missed out on the World Cup. But fear not – weathered England supporters Marcus, Luke and Vish are here to give Italy fans a lesson in the lost art of clutching at straws. We also celebrate a special night for Wales and the parasitic insect himself Gareth Bale, as he rolled back the years with a sensational brac...

Fernando Santos is making a fool of himself, Zlatan’s being really humble and Gareth Bale’s back to match fitness – you know what all that means. International football is back, baby! Kate, Andy and Jim convene to discuss Portugal and Italy’s chances of progress and a huge night for Wales. Plus, King Kazu is a bald fraud and John Carver has a strange story to tell. Tweet us @ FootballRamble and em...

As the Chelsea takeover gathers apace Marcus, Andy and Vish discuss the latest and how fans are finally finding their voice on their club’s future. Sadly, Batesy still isn’t in there. Elsewhere, Neil Warnock spits some bars about Mike Dean, Arsène Wenger prepares his hop from one gravy train to another and there’s a very questionable dilemma in this week’s Pep Talks. Tweet us @ FootballRamble and...

After twenty-two years in showbusiness, Mike Dean has announced he's stepping down at the end of the season. Get your bedazzled whistles out, the Farewell Tour's coming to a town near you. Kate, Luke and Jim celebrate Daft Deano's amazing career before assessing Manchester United's hunt for the shiniest paper to cover the club's cracks. One person they won't be able to snag is Phil Brown, who has...

The quadruple is still on for Liverpool after they survived a stern test at a bouncing City Ground last night. There goes Diogo Jota again, must remember to thank him. Marcus and Jim are joined by Lars Sivertsen for a jam-packed Ramble, as Crystal Palace moonwalked through Everton while Chelsea and City also booked their semi-final tickets. There's also more bonkers Barclays, as Wolves shot themse...

The football gods threw us many a bone last night, as West Ham dethroned the Europa League kings, Everton rescued a vital win and Barça kicked off the Spotify era in style. And now, Ed Sheeran! Marcus, Vish and Jim also look ahead to the FA Cup quarter-finals where Nottingham Forest and Middlesbrough again shoot for cupset stardom. All that and loads more on a jam-packed Preview Show, sponsored by...

Kate, Luke and Andy get stuck into a cross-continent football feast on today's Ramble, as spirited performances from Arsenal and Lille left them with sod all respectively. Liverpool and Chelsea thus take the rightful plaudits, while Spurs maintained their consistent inconsistency with a south coast scalp. We also give Juventus a deserved kicking and hear of some fantastical Gaelic football exploit...

Marcus, Vish and Andy react to another Champions League Groundhog Day, as Man United stuttered to a halt and Atlético looked like their former dastardly selves.  We also start assembling our “Streets Won’t Forget” XI, with Adel Taarabt and tactical wizard Steve Bruce both a shoe-in. Elsewhere, Benfica hope to shake off The Curse and Pep Talks brings us the results of our recent parenting advi...

Pep Guardiola went about his usual policy of making friends (Crystal Palace's Vicente Guaita) and alienating people (Kyle Walker) after City's draw with peppy Palace. Don't worry, he is so so happy. Kate, Luke and Jim look over last night's result and Crystal Palace's impressive season as a whole. We also wonder about the future of football ownership as Eddie Howe and some Chelsea fans have a lot...

Jules, Jim and Vish look back over a Barclays Sunday Funday as we hone in on a vintage season finale at both ends.  Arsenal showed their defensive steeliness - even if Vish thinks it’s a bit lame - while Cristiano Ronaldo rolled back the years at the other end. Elsewhere, Everton slip further into the mire, Brentford scrabble away and we search for the league’s most handsome squad. Tweet us @...

Join us for a very special episode ahead of Red Nose Day, as Kate and Jim are joined by presenter Jordan North and etiquette expert William Hanson from the cracking podcast, Help I Sexted My Boss! As part of this Acast Podcast Mashup, we get together to discuss a subject well outside of William's comfort zone: football. We search for William's inner fan after a lifetime of both intention and unint...

Marcus, Vish and Andy take stock of just how warped football has become as Chelsea brushed aside Norwich with numerous sanctions looming over Roman Abramovich.  After a European round-up, we look ahead to a whole host of Premier League crackers as Antonio Conte sets himself up for the inevitable fall and Thomas Frank eyes up a backpacking holiday. All on a jam-packed Preview Show, sponsored b...

Remember PSG, you can throw endless Qatari money at some of the world’s best players, take the reigns from Leonardo because he’s a fool and win the first leg - but the house always wins. Join Marcus, Jim and Andy as we recap a Champions League night equal parts dazzling (Karim Benzema) and dull (Man City). We also get the cocktails out on Gareth’s Barge and discover that Eddie Howe’s yet to finali...

Job done for Liverpool after a stuttering last 16 display, as Virgil van Dijk suffered his first Anfield defeat since 2018's loss at the hands of Alan Pardew. He'll have that on the CV, no doubt. Jules, Vish and Pete look back over goals galore in other matches across Europe, as Messrs Lewandowski and Mitrović battle to be crowned Europe's best striker. We also go searching for Chris Wilder's saus...

At least Frank Lampard was there to watch Harry Kane nearly break his record last night! Haha no but seriously, Everton are genuinely in real trouble. Kate, Jim and Pete pick through the Evertonian wreckage after Spurs’ demolition job, wave on Nottingham Forest’s cup charge and look over FIFA’s latest underwhelming response to the war in Ukraine. Tweet us @ FootballRamble and email us here: ...

Manchester City mercilessly put Ralf Rangnick’s holiday camp to the sword, as Manchester United looked limp, bereft of ideas, and defensively shot. Or as Pep called it, ‘incredibly impressive’. Marcus, Pete and Jim recap all of that, ask whether Arsenal should stay in red, and wonder if Phil Coutinho’s spiritual home really is the rainy midlands. Plus, penalty megamind Tim Krul is undone and there...

Join Marcus, Jim and Vish on our charge towards the weekend via another Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! Norwich will hope the spirit of Delia can guide them to victory against Brentford, while Leeds' new sheriff Jesse Marsch comes riding into town with a sack full o' vibes. We also look ahead to the Manchester derby, as Harry Maguire trips over those cracks in the dressing room and Cristiano Ro...

Jules, Andy and Vish react to the seismic news that Roman Abramovich looks to sell Chelsea after nineteen years. We discuss some myopic reactions from various circles and ask where the club goes from here. We also pick through last night's FA Cup, as a Romain Perraud worldy helped sink West Ham and Norwich soaked up even more Liverpool punches. Plus, Roy Keane loves horoscopes! Tweet us @ Football...

Burnley's stuttering form was struck by a bolt from the blue last night. A shithousing pest of a bolt in the form of Jamie Vardy - Brendy's cavalry has arrived! Marcus, Jim and Andy recap a host of last night's game, as Boro's cup strut continues and Jack Grealish reminded Pep he's still knocking about. We also offer our expertise to the Canadian Premier League and a bald ref headbutted a fan in S...