Football Ramble

Journey with Andy and Jules to the Lusail Stadium for Portugal’s second group stage game against Uruguay at the 2022 World Cup. They discuss the strangeness of this tournament, the atmosphere in the country amongst the fans, and encounter an alarming number of grown men doing Cristiano Ronaldo’s trademark celebration! Plus, hidden hot dogs and Bud Zeroes all round… Pete’s Film Club is back! Sign u...

Dotun and Andy are joined by French football expert Jonathan Johnson after a dramatic day for World Cup giants and unfancied hopefuls alike! Amidst a baffling night for Poland, we discuss why Argentina and Lionel Messi are fitting together at just the right time. Plus, why France could be knocked off their stride by defeat to Tunisia and Andy curse ANOTHER dark horse… Pete’s Film Club is back! Sig...

Definitive proof last night: it’s always good to have a Marcus in there! Marcus, Jim and David discuss England’s 3-0 victory over Wales and just how responsible Chesney Hawkes was for that second half storm. We also deliberate who Southgate should go with in the knockouts after Marcus Rashford and Phil Foden impress. And it isn’t over for Gareth Bale in a Wales shirt, but should it be? Meanwhile,...

Whew, what a day of World Cup football! Marcus, Lars and Pete bounce into the studio after Vincent Aboubakar and Serbia’s mad defensive line make a very entertaining combination and Jordan Ayew whips down the South Koreans. Elsewhere, we take a trip to Richarlison’s island which may or may not be owned by Sven, Cristiano Ronaldo and Piers Morgan call upon the Hair of God, and Marcus gets very conf...

Dotun and Andy are joined by Miguel Delaney to recap more Qatar clashes, as Spain and Germany both rope-a-doped their way to honours even in last night’s main event. Elsewhere, Belgium’s ageing generation looked all out of ideas against Morocco while Croatia keep their fountain of youth flowing. And, with a clash tonight against serial shithousers Uruguay, can Portugal finally sort themselves out?...

Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to answer this World Cup's definitive question: after last night's heroics, have Robert Lewandowski and Lionel Messi secured a move to Fulham? Elsewhere the Aussies' great win over Tunisia gives them hope, Andy's going to have a fight with Graeme Souness and Wayne Rooney's bizarre (little) man management skills have been exposed.  Pete’s Film Club is back today!...

What happens when Sepp Blatter and FIFA make a film? Today, Pete and Luke find out... We’re releasing bonus weekly editions of Pete's Film Club on our Patreon throughout the World Cup. Here’s a taste of our first episode out today, where Pete and Luke review FIFA's self-funded film about its own history. It's United Passions ! Oh God. Sign up for as little as $5/month here and get these episodes a...

Marcus, Jim and David trudge into the studio after a turgid night for England, who reminded us just how bad we used to have it. It’s okay though: Uri Geller’s helicopter is on its way to Qatar to save the day. Speaking of Qatar, they officially made history as the tournament’s worst hosts after losing to Ecuador. We also recap Wales’ last-gasp sickener against Iran - not that any of their fans min...

In a moment reminiscent of watching Hot Fuzz on ITV2, Penaldo struck again on another jam-packed day of World Cup action! Marcus, Jim and Andy are on hand to thank Portugal and Ghana for delivering an unbelievable half of football. Elsewhere, we can say the tournament has properly started now Brazil have played and we get ready for the big one tonight, as Aaron Ramsdale proves he has too much spar...

The Bundesliga beat Germany!  The league’s Japanese contingent felled Hansi Flicke’s men yesterday in another huge upset, while Spain crush Costa Rica. Dotun, Andy and Nicky Bandini provide the European perspective on it all in our first World Cup edition of On The Continent! What’s wrong with Germany’s mentality? Can Spain’s kids carry them all the way? And why are France better with Olivier...

Wow. Saudi Arabia only went and beat Argentina – and Hervé Renard has impregnated Pete. Jules, Pete and David take in a seismic Day 3 of the World Cup as front doors are tore from hinges across Saudi Arabia and everyone’s boo boo Olivier Giroud rolls back the years. Plus, the return of the Cumdog and Cristiano Ronaldo is OUT at Manchester United!  Pete’s Film Club is back! Sign up for weekly...

We're back with another trip into the archives as Marcus, Luke and Andy recount some truly iconic moments from World Cups past - we also mention Jogi Löw's scratch n' sniff, so there's that. Join us for a selection of our favourites that remind us of just how good the World Cup can really be, from Zinedine Zidane's curtain call to shithousery, pangs of despair and moments of utter genius. Tweet us...

Live from the Scotch egg bar: Jules, Pete and Andy! They chew over Wales’ battling draw with the USA, learn that bucket hats are just for boys and there’s an embarrassing injury for Senegal which leaves Jules wishing she wasn’t in the same room as Pete… Plus, an exciting announcement: Pete’s Film Club is back! Sign up for weekly episodes throughout the World Cup and much more here: patreon.com/foo...

Aunts, uncles, parents – the whole family are giddy! Marcus, Jim and David react to England’s thrashing of Iran – which leaves one of the present company stuffed with humble pie. That Jude Bellingham kid is pretty good, isn’t he? We also discuss the FA’s decision for Harry Kane not to wear the One Love armband after pressure from FIFA and Cristiano Ronaldo speaks to someone whose first name isn’t...

We're off! And Morgan Freeman is off too, crawling down a sewage pipe out of the stadium... Marcus, Jim, Pete and David Cartlidge relive last night's pomp, ceremony and absolutely diabolical football as Qatar were dismantled by West Ham's third best striker in 2014/15. Plus, Pete defends ferrets almost as vigorously as Gianni Infantino defends his hair and we preview England vs Iran! We decide the...

What does the future look like for Qatar, football, and the people we’ve spoken to? Kate finds out more about the precarious situation of the LGBTQ+ community in the country and speaks to the only publicly gay Qatari. After officials were in a standoff with Danish broadcasters this week, Kate also explores Qatar's media environment and asks whether this World Cup will – really – be a wake-up call...

England have a super coach boom, boom boom! On this final edition of Lions Watch, Marcus and Luke are on hand to predict how far England – and their super coach – will go at the World Cup and discuss what would constitute success for Gareth Southgate's gang. We also hear your expectations for the Three Lions in Qatar and round-up the latest news coming out of the England camp! Tweet us @FootballRa...

**We’re bringing you daily episodes of the Ramble and On The Continent throughout the tournament! Subscribe now to never miss a moment.** Two more sleeps until the World Cup! And you know what that means: a curtain-raising gig from Robbie Williams in an authoritarian state!  Jules, Luke, Vish and Pete get stuck into England’s prospects, what Jogi Löw’s doing in that tent with time on his hand...

On the pitch, this might be the best World Cup for a generation. But off the pitch, it couldn’t be worse. Dotun and Andy are joined by Miguel Delaney to discuss these two ‘parallel’ World Cups. They explore the state of play for Europe’s elite and wonder whether the Cristiano Ronaldo sideshow will derail Portugal’s hopes. We also discuss how Qatar’s entrenched relationship with European football –...

The World Cup has a funny habit of throwing up the most surprising heroes who write themselves into folklore, stay with us for decades – and then, inexplicably, go on to do absolutely nothing else! Marcus, Jim and Vish celebrate some of the very best nations and players who have been there once and called it quits. From the man who scored five goals in a single World Cup game, to the South Korean...

What does this World Cup mean for Qatar? Kate goes inside the Qatar club game and finds signs of a very deliberate footballing project. But are Qatar’s intentions going to survive their first contact with reality? We examine the tournament infrastructure for fans across Doha – from an unfinished fan park, to FIFA's luxury 'tent city' and desolate stadium surroundings – and find out that the World...

The Premier League has packed up for Christmas! Marcus, Vish, Pete and Andy are here to pore over all the weekend’s final fizzles. Arsenal are officially Top at Daylight Savings™, joined at the King’s table by Newcastle United and a few Spurs lads. Elsewhere, Cristiano Ronaldo’s taken another humble step down the path to redemption and we plot a daring heist to get Ivan Toney to Qatar. Tweet us @...

The England squad has finally been unveiled!! Luke and Marcus are on hand to answer the big questions surrounding Gareth Southgate’s selection, including i) why has he picked Maguire and ii) who will Mr Sheen be supporting at the World Cup? Elsewhere, we are joined by Iranian football expert Sina Saemian who explains why England shouldn’t underestimate Iran in their opening group game. @Sinaa_sa &...

Gareth’s Gang has been selected! James Maddison is officially declared a nice man after his call up, while Callum Wilson prepares to clean Harry Kane’s boots. Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim pore over that and the final weekend of Premier League fixtures, as Southampton hope to avoid a new manager trounce while Eddie Howe and Graham Potter enter Ru Paul’s Drag Race. The prize: to be the next England bo...

Dotun and Andy are joined by Lars Sivertsen for another roundup of continental capers, with the Sevilla derby a traditionally fiery affair - three red cards anyone? Elsewhere, we pick through the matchups for the Champions League’s knockout stages and Andy’s recent field trip to see Xabi Alonso’s struggling Leverkusen. Tweet us @ FootballRamble and email us here:  show@footballramble.com . **...