Five with Fry

When you’re in the chair—whether as an Athletic Director, head coach, or top leader—everything starts and stops with you. Most books don’t prepare you for that reality. Leading means holding steady when the boat feels like it’s tipping and people are looking for direction. In this episode of Five with Fry , I talk with Allison Kern, Associate VP and Director of Athletics at Cal State East Bay, abo...

Have you ever noticed how often people say, “I’m sorry if I offended you” when they’re called out for something they said? In this episode of Five with Fry , I talk about why that phrase sounds like an apology but actually avoids accountability. Adding the word if shifts the problem away from our words and onto someone else’s reaction. It suggests the issue isn’t what was said, but the fact that s...

Ever had that satisfying moment when you finally figure something out after hours of wanting to throw your computer across the room? That’s what this episode of Five with Fry is all about—the messy, frustrating, and ultimately rewarding process of persistence in a world that wants everything instantly. I share a personal story about building a new website using what I call “vibe coding”(i.e., natu...

Kindness and niceness might sound similar, but they’re very different in how they shape our communication and leadership. Too often, leaders avoid hard conversations because they want to be “nice.” The problem is that what feels compassionate in the moment—sidestepping conflict, staying vague, or quietly reducing someone’s responsibilities—creates confusion and toxicity. People can tell when somet...

The world of athlete representation is complicated, and the stakes are higher than ever. Whether you’re a high school athlete thinking about your future, a college player navigating NIL deals, or a pro looking at new opportunities, you need to know how to protect yourself before you ever sign with an agent. That’s why I brought in Luke Fedlam, a non-agent sports attorney who calls himself a “prote...

College sports have entered a whole new era. With NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness) deals and the recent House settlement allowing schools to pay athletes up to $22.5 million, freshman athletes are walking onto campus with multimillion-dollar expectations on their shoulders. But what does it mean to be 18, adjusting to college life for the first time, while also carrying the weight of donors, corpor...

Ever think about the human cost of leadership development? Those first teams you lead are really the guinea pigs for your trial-and-error experiments in figuring out what kind of leader you’ll become. I know this firsthand. At 27, I jumped into my first head coaching role with big ideas—new offense, new defense, new culture, new handbook—without really knowing what I was doing. My players became p...

Can truth hurt without harming? In this episode of Five with Fry , we dig into the difference between being direct and being rude and why so many people confuse the two. I break down an eye-opening video from Conflictish, a social media voice on healthy communication, and connect it to a powerful story from one of my workshops. In that workshop, a deaf participant shed light on the stark differenc...

We’ve been taught that “good” relationships are the ones without conflict, but I’m calling BS on that. In this episode of Five with Fry , I’m digging into the idea that conflict isn’t a sign of failure. It’s actually proof of depth. Think about it: when you care enough to wrestle with discomfort, speak hard truths, and work through disagreement instead of walking away, that says something. Real re...

Why Didn’t Anyone Teach Us This? Most of us were never taught how to handle conflict. We picked up habits by watching family or just winged it. And now we're out here navigating disagreements, tough conversations, and daily tension without real tools. In this episode of Five with Fry , I’m sharing why building conflict skills is essential—not just for your relationships, but for your mental h...

Ever wish you could handle tough conversations without feeling like you’re losing your cool or your integrity? In this episode of Five with Fry, Dr. Jen Fry dives into the real reason conflict feels so messy, and why most of us have never been taught how to do it well. Jen shares insights and stories from her new book, I Said No: How to Have a Backbone and Boundaries Without Being a Jerk , reveali...

Think elite athletes are just born different? Not so fast. In this episode of Five with Fry , Dr. Jen Fry sits down with sports psychology consultant Dan Mickle to unpack the real difference between good and great athletes—and it’s not just about talent or hustle. It’s about mindset. Dan shares five powerful shifts that can change the game for athletes, coaches, and parents alike. From reframing n...

What happens when a mental performance coach and a conflict and culture expert, who is also a former athlete and coach, team up? You get a real, raw conversation about youth sports that every sports parent needs to hear, whether they want to or not. In this episode of Five with Fry , Dr. Jen Fry sits down with mental performance coach Dan Mickle to unpack five uncomfortable truths about youth spor...

What if your next favorite place wasn’t even on your radar yet? In this episode of Five with Fry , I’m taking you on a quick tour of five destinations that changed the way I see the world, and just might do the same for you. From the bold flavors and street energy of Havana, Cuba, to the warm, luxurious but still affordable vibes of Bali, these places are more than just beautiful. They’re transfor...

“Just listen.” Sound familiar? It’s one of the most repeated pieces of conflict advice and one of the most misunderstood. In this episode of Five with Fry , I’m coming for the myth of active listening. Because expecting people to magically “just listen” during a heated argument—when they’ve never actually been taught how—is setting them up to fail. We talk a big game about communication, but most...

Why does conflict make your stomach twist, your hands sweat, and your words disappear? If you’ve ever frozen in the middle of a hard conversation or walked away replaying everything you should have said, this episode is for you. For years, I struggled with conflict. I bottled up my feelings until they came out sideways—loud, messy, and usually unproductive . Growing up, I didn’t learn how to navig...

The Real Test of Team Culture Isn’t Positivity—It’s Conflict It’s easy to talk about team culture when things are going well. But what about when they’re not? In this episode, Dr. Jen Fry gets real about what truly defines a strong team culture—and it’s not just about staying positive. While a lot of teams focus on creating upbeat environments, many fall apart the moment tension hits. That’s becau...

What Should Your City Council Member Be Doing for You? Ever wonder what your city council member actually does—or should be doing? In this episode of Five with Fry , Dr. Jen Fry sits down with Councilwoman Shontel Lewis of Denver’s District 8 to break it all down. As the only Black woman and the first openly queer Black woman on Denver’s City Council, Lewis brings both lived experience and politic...

Think board games are just innocent fun? Not so fast. In this raw and hilarious episode of Five with Fry , I’m diving into the very real emotional chaos of tabletop games, starting with the time 10-year-old me absolutely lost it during a game of Monopoly with my mom. (There were tears, screams, and the entire board ended up on the brown carpet.) Board games aren’t just about passing the time. They...

Who gets saved, and who gets sacrificed? In this episode of Five with Fry , Dr. Jen Fry digs into the uncomfortable—but essential—question at the heart of college coaching: Who is deemed “worth saving” when things get tough? Drawing from a powerful panel at the Drake Group Symposium, Jen unpacks how race and gender show up in retention decisions, especially when it comes to Black women coaches. Th...

In the final installment of our three-part series, Kierra Pelz and I dig into one of the most overlooked but critical parts of leading well: proactive communication . Because let’s be honest: it’s one thing to put out fires. It’s another thing to build a culture where fewer fires happen in the first place. We discuss how communication shapes team culture from the ground up and what leaders can do...

In Part 2 of our conversation, Kierra Pelz and I pick up right where we left off — digging deeper into what it really takes to handle tough conversations with care, clarity, and confidence. This episode is all about learning how to slow down and show up, especially when emotions are high. We explore the power of the 24-hour rule : a simple but powerful practice that gives people space to cool off,...

The so-called “prank” on Shedeur Sanders during the NFL Draft wasn’t funny. It was calculated cruelty disguised as humor. In this Bonus Fryday episode, I unpack what really happened when a 21-year-old adult used stolen confidential information to humiliate someone for views, clout, and laughs. This wasn’t some harmless joke. It was a public act of disrespect, with real consequences for dignity, tr...

In this episode of Five with Fry , I’m joined by my good friend Kierra Pelz — a passionate coach, gym owner at Premier Academy, and a powerhouse in the world of cheerleading. Kierra shares her journey from reluctant participant to strong leader, and together, we dig into one of the trickiest parts of coaching and leadership: managing difficult conversations. We talk about the unique challenges wom...

Welcome to Secure the Damn Job , a special series on Five with Fry where I break down what actually works when you're applying for jobs. Sponsored by Hyreable (the career development wing of JenFryTalks), this three-part series covers cover letters, resumes, and interviews with real talk, real strategy, and zero fluff. Whether you're making a career move or entering the workforce, I’m he...