First Seven Inch Club (AKA Border Boss)

It's not easy bein' greazy this week as we prepare to eat large meals and become very lazy youtube thousandaires without lifting even a single finger. In celebration of this new pathway to wealth and independence, we crack open a rare french vintage to share with friends even if they don't drink because what's your problem, man? Don't you like xUPxRIGHTSx???

This week we gloat, gamble, and gorge on gorditas as a way to bedevil and delay the reaper's scythe of the First Seven Inch Club having to review a fast hardcore record. Oh you like fast hardcore? Well go sick y2k style to New Jersey's fast yung mayors, TEAR IT UP.

You never know how things are gonna turn out. You could live for almost 50 years with a body full of aneurysms and still make Thriller or you could look like a waterlogged bog corpse at age 24. But we're gonna keep doing what we do and so should you. We charged people money this week to hear a very troubling record so this one's on the house. ALL NATURAL LEMON & LIME FLAVORS.

Join us on the dock to talk about baseball, being extremely buzzed in lakeside vans, and all the other good things this dying world is stealing from us. If there's time, we will one-up anything in your pitiful collection by whipping out this hard slab from Auburn, NY's UNDERSIDE.

This week we soft-launch a concept of wholly investing in being weird creeps from the 70s, hungering for fiscally limited foodstuffs and the wisdom of 17th century livestock while listening to the intriguingly varied local but also globe-transversal sounds of Thrashin' Mad's promising boys, MEDICINE MAN.

This week we excrete and expulse our way into the pan-holiday season via an infusion of chainsaw clowns and pro-ice toddlers before embarking on a journey deep into the mysterious western coast of A-ME-RI-CA where a town named SAN-DI-E-GO exists simultaneously in all latitudes. Enjoy the signature yet troublesome sounds of this omnipresent constituency's local troubadours, SPANAKORZO.

The train of time finally leaves our bodies tumbling off into a ditch as our heads ring like hammers on steel torn between BOOM and DOOM until we are briefly distracted from the chill of death by the vintage passions of Santa Cruz and/or maybe SoCal's own FLOODGATE.

So many cool guys are out here dying this month but we're out here LIVING. Living MAS in fact. You probably thought we'd forgotten our core values but we have been at this a long time and the arc of podcasting always bends toward running for the border. Band? What band? OH you mean FACADE BURNED BLACK.

This week we grow older and older before your very eyes, slowly gumming a bowl of licorice allsorts while trying to figure out how to make a PDF. In order to milk youthful energy out of the world, we listen to the sounds of boys in their prime singing primal young boy things while coming of age in the warlike city-state of Syracuse. Protect your vitals, it's OVERSIGHT!

Today's topic is "killer tone". We open up with the secret to killer tone and then explore what killer tone means to christians, ghosts, napoleons, and a little garden of unearthly delights growing in the deserts of Arizona named WELLINGTON.

Today we positively attack the kitchen pouring every incompatible liquid in the pantry into a jar and just chugging it like a monster absolutely hidden from the eyes of its maker and that's because it's time for us to tackle something for which we are woefully underqualified, namely a hardcore record. Please check out the band GO!

This week we vicariously spelunk the occursed land behind the capitol district's most aggressive mall before spelunking our american-cheese-slice-deep appreciation of you-know-what with the rust belt's most objectively beloved sons, 9 SHOCKS TERROR.

This week we are working without a safety net and it's no small feat when you are dealing with bareknuckle boxing, monster trucks, sippin cream, and the unhinged energy of the kind of hardcore scene that would dare to share a zipcode with Phish. Welcome to the ancient and prescient world of THE CHAMPIONS.

This week we meet up with old friends, beat up new friends, and cool out to chill authoritarian entertainments before tearing apart the living thorax of some friends and acquaintances for their role in a tricky little record from a very different time called DEATHSQUAD.

This episode is a canvas for sharing a bunch of personal anecdotes while eating too much, working too hard, and killing too many people to solve any crimes. To ward off any vengeful curses, we recommend you dig into the unique scholastic utopian sounds of Connecticut's own THINNER.

Absolutely pivotal things are happening in the world right now, one might even label some of it a crisis. We're here to eat it all as ethically as possible, no matter how weirdly it is handed to us in the drive thru. Today's dish comes all the way from the forgotten world of 1992 served up by 5 adorable li'l chefs known as EARTH CRISIS.

This week we workshop some dystopian speculative fiction with a futuristic japanese soundtrack and bend our efforts toward forwarding the feline agenda without having to wipe anything. Eventually we talk about them 'Bama boys, HASTE and how jimmy quit, joey got married, we shoulda known...

This week the entire gang is succumbing to the hot trend of life threatening illness (even the cats) as we think out loud about the sights, sounds, and feelings of metalcore before discussing one of the least metalcore bands we've ever covered, Richmond paranoiacs CLOAK/DAGGER.

Today we confront pop art, synth pop, synth pop art, and all the places where those boundaries are overstepped before evaluating the state of bottom tier influencers and their dropshipped pomades. Eventually we get around to the hard to categorize, garbage barge ornamented monster bicoastal slams of BULLETS*IN.

This week we clamber over plagues, wildlife and various other horsemen of the apocalypse to once again return to the unlimited well of Commitment Records for a taste of the dangerous but highly temporary sounds of OIL.

This week we discuss money, budgeting, saving, monetization, obama, and 80s anime workouts before unearthing the obscure origins of one of the most moshed-to drummers of all time as he earns his hardcore bachelors degree in Buffalo or Syracuse but probably Buffalo's own NO JOKE.

This week we get into oversized crackers, overwhelming geocaching, and overcooked 2001 metalcore before sitting down to fan ourselves in all this heat and remember what it was like to be young and super into hooded sweatshirts, thrash ballads, and magneto scarabs... kinda like Akron's only sons SPLINTER.

Our final episode before a brief vacation sees us thinking about our waning years of live performances and our waxing years of cheez-it appreciation before diving into the rich universe of california punk and hardcore via the surf 'n sun sounds of Mis'sionnne Vai-jo's own BORDERLINE.

This week talk about hardcore (gaming) and hardcore (manga collecting) hardcore (reality TV) before celebrating the legacy of the late (hardcore) Steve Albini by examining one of the few ZENI GEVA records he had absolutely nothing to do with.

Over the last few months we've brought you the flavors of England, Canada, Ancient Greece, Arrakis, Philadelphia... but there's truly no place like home. So steep yourself a cup of chamomile tea, put on your favorite sweater, snuggle up with the quilt grandma made you, and queue up the void-genital destroying apocalypse grind of Albany NY's CONNIPTION.