Finding the Throughline with Kate Hanley

I'm taking a week off from new episodes this week and re-airing a series I did last summer on re-thinking drinking. It is, after all, Dry January--in other words, a natural time to be thinking about drinking less, or not at all. This week, let’s just see what’s ready to be seen in terms of our relationship to alcohol. I am NOT here to preach or proselytize, I promise! This is a judgment-free zone!...

You've heard the advice to put on your own oxygen mask first, and that you can't give from an empty cup (I've said this myself many times, including on this podcast). But I've been re-thinking this. Because, first of all, you don't have to have your shit together in order to help someone else. And second, being of service raises your own energy. So how do you balance self-care with helping others?...

Even though wanting to be of service seems like a noble idea, it’s pretty easy to have an attitude that makes you more of a pain in the butt than an actual source of help. Here are three ways of thinking that are going to block you from actually helping--and a different goal to keep top of mind when seek to be of service. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m talking with Rabbi Daniel Cohen, who serves at the largest modern orthodox synagogue in New England in Stamford, CT. He’s the author of "What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone? Cultivating a Life of Legacy." He has been a rabbi for over 30 years, meaning he’s had hundreds of end of life conversations and delivered thousands of eulogies which gives him a unique perspective on life...

There are SO many people and causes that are in need of help that it can be overwhelming, trying to decide how to give back without overextending yourself. If you get involved in every cause or try to help every person that needs it, it’s easy to end up getting overwhelmed and not actually being that much help. Today I’m sharing a strategy I’ve learned that makes giving back easier–so that you can...

Being of service isn’t just a noble thing to do, or something to tick off on a list of things that make you a better person. It’s actually beneficial to you too, primarily because it gets you into a higher level of energy. Not energy as in what my grandmother used to call pep, but energy as in your vibe and how you show up in the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoice...

Warning: Deep thoughts about comfort zones ahead! In which I argue that maybe what you've become comfortable with isn't actually all that comfortable--it's just familiar. And how making changes that make SEEM like they're taking you out of your comfort zone are actually leading you to someplace where you are truly at ease. (And how to deal with the discomfort of the unfamiliar while your comfort z...

In addition to upping the cozy factor in your home and in your body–as I covered in the previous two episodes–seeking coziness and comfort is also worthy goals when it comes to making life decisions, like what you do for work and where, who you’re in a relationship with, and where you live.  Which flies in the face of most conventional advice, which says that you have to leave your comfort zone if...

You don't always have control over your environment, but you do have say over what goes on your body. Today I'm sharing my top 5 ways to keep yourself cozy as a baby lamb snuggled up to its mama, no matter where you are. As my favorite pin says, "Cozy does it." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Environment is such a big piece of your wellbeing. It’s definitely worth taking a little time to set up your space for a little extra coziness. I promise these ideas are inexpensive and you likely already have things on hand that will help you execute them.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the podcast is all about finding comfort and coziness. It’s just the time of year–and that time in the world at large as we round the corner on 2 years of a pandemic with a spike in cases. Let’s use this s-h-i-t show as an opportunity to embrace feeling cozy, whaddya say? Today’s big idea is that seeking coziness is more than just a comfort measure–it’s a survival mechanism that boost...

One area of life that is in need of recovery for a lot of people right now, in this first week after the holidays, is your primary relationships. I wrote a blog post called How I Stopped Hating My Husband and You Can Too in 2013, about how I learned how to stop keeping score regarding who did what around the house and how to communicate about how I was feeling about the division of labor. That blo...

The problem with recovery is that we tend to think it’s only for certain situations–an addict who has hit rock bottom, for example, or someone who has experienced a major illness or surgery. And then, even in those situations, we expect recovery to happen on a certain schedule and to progress linearly, like an arrow that’s pointing upward and forward.  Today’s big idea is that not only is recovery...

Today’s big idea is that we have a cultural bias against recovery–because if you’re recovering from something, then something must have been kicking your butt. And we’re not great at tolerating quote-unquote weakness. When the truth is, there are so many good things about being in recovery.  To share some of those good things with us, I’m talking today with Billy Manas, a recovering addict, and au...

Today’s big idea is that, once you recognize that you are in a recovery phase–and honestly, who among us hasn’t experienced loss and challenge in these last few years–you will naturally want to do something about that awareness. This episode lays out what that something is--and it's probably not what you'd expect, or that some part of you is going to hear. It's still true! Learn more about your ad...

This week on the podcast I’m talking about recovery. Because after the two years we’ve just had, plus the holidays–which are typically enough on their own to make you feel like you’ve lost touch with the things that make you feel your best–I think a lot of people are ready for some of that action. What I love about the idea of recovery is the re- part–it’s not creating something new that you’re ne...

Today’s anti-resolution is probably the most important of them all. I should have maybe run it on Monday, but for whatever reason, my episodes that drop on Fridays tend to get the most downloads, so here it is: Un-Fix Yourself.  That might seem like a mixed message, coming from a podcast called How to Be a Better Person. Just to be clear, I don’t want you to be a different person. Just to help you...

I used to be obsessed with productivity hacks. How could I make better lists so that I got more done in a day? What could I do to promote my focus so that I could produce more? I wasn't seeking ways to find my own flow and do my best work--I was just trying to wring more and more stuff out of my brain and cram more and more things into my schedule. Today's surprising strategy for a better new year...

Today’s anti-resolution is to Stop Being Nice. Wut?! Despite the fact that women have been socialized to be nice above all else, it's not actually a very noble goal, as my co-host this week, Terri Trespicio, breaks down today. Does that mean you should go out and let your a-hole flag fly? Or become outright mean? Goodness, no. It just means you set your sights on something different--something tha...

Today’s surprising strategy for a better new year is to Un-plan Your Life. Which, depending on how much of a planner you are, may sound like just a completely ludicrous idea. BUT, as this week's co-host, Terri Trespicio, will talk us through--plans change all the time. Multiple times. Especially in our new pandemic reality. (I can’t tell you how many trips I have booked and canceled in the last si...

In honor of the year we just had, and how grueling it has been in terms of stress and uncertainty and the sheer volume of decisions we’ve had to make on a daily basis, I want to approach this new year’s season a little differently.  Instead of reflecting, and setting goals--both of which are great to do and if you love doing ‘em, good for you do NOT let me stop you--I am dedicating this week’s epi...

Today’s big idea is actually a really tiny little thing that can help you come into the present moment and feel supported. And that really tiny little thing is to bring the soles of your feet to the floor. Seriously, it's a tiny thing with a massive footprint. (SO sorry for that awful pun!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your body is your friend and your passport to being present. Because while your mind can hop all over the place in time--in to the future, back in to the past, into hypothetical situations and daydreams--your body is always. Here. Right. Now. Here's how to meet up with your body and enjoy each other's company in this moment. Sooooo dreamy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adcho...

Your ears are a portal to the present moment, because listening well is basically meditating. It’s focusing your awareness on one particular point--in this case, what you can hear--and it gets your mind into a quiet and receptive state, which keeps it from running off in to the future or wandering back into the past. Today, you're going to make like a human tape recorder and listen like perhaps yo...

A great way to settle into the present moment is to focus on your powers of observation. It’s also perfect for observing the winter solstice, which is today! Solstice means “standing still of sun” and on this day it’s like we’re suspended between two realities, of the light going away, and the light coming back. So sitting still and just seeing what you can see is actually a great way to honor thi...