Finding the Throughline with Kate Hanley

Despite the fact that women have been socialized to be nice above all else, it's not actually a very noble goal, as my co-host this week, Terri Trespicio, breaks down today. Does that mean you should go out and let your a-hole flag fly? Or become outright mean? Goodness, no. It just means you set your sights on something different--something that takes a lot less energy than being nice AND that gi...

Today’s surprising strategy for a better new year is to Un-plan Your Life. Which, depending on how much of a planner you are, may sound like just a completely ludicrous idea. BUT, as this week's co-host, Terri Trespicio, will talk us through--plans change all the time. Multiple times. And sometimes, even when your plans work out, you've put so much stock in them that you can feel lost now that the...

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You can be generous in some ways, and stingy in others. And it’s really fascinating to start to unpack where you are a natural giver, and where you might be more likely to freeze up and think, oh heck no. Maybe those are areas that you can think about differently and find your way to feeling more generous, but maybe those are just things that don’t suit you for some reason, and you can focus on ot...

While giving is often energizing, there are definitely times when it’s draining. Or even upsetting. It can leave you feeling taken advantage of, or unappreciated. And that doesn’t feel good.  In addition, sometimes *your* giving can make the person you’re trying to give to feel bad--micromanaged, or like you think they aren’t capable.  So today, let’s figure out how to keep giving in the realm of...

When you think of what being a better person means, I’m guessing that being generous is one of the first things that pops to mind. BUT, that’s not to say that we have to be 100% selfless, or always put others first, or give until it hurts. So, how do we find that balance?  Let’s start by looking at the benefits of being generous–not for the other person, but for you. In today’s episode, I’m sharin...

I get that there is a lot of work that goes into holiday celebrations and it is so natural and tempting to kind of groan your way through them or talk about how you hate them. You may not feel 100% at peace with all the stuff you’ve got to do all the time, but even just remembering that you could choose to accept that this is just part of it can help you get to a place where you’re not hating ever...

Today I want to talk specifically about how to navigate family gatherings. And to help with that, I’m interviewing Amy E. Smith, a life coach and communications specialist who specializes in all things self-worth and confidence. Amy has been on the show before sharing how to enforce a boundary without being a jerk. Her e-workbook is called "Stand Up for Yourself without Being a Dick," so I think y...

I’ve got a tool for you that will help you figure out what parts of the holiday you want to prioritize and which you might dial back on. It’s a priority-making matrix that I learned as a tool to help you figure out how to maximize your impact and reduce your stress at work, but it’s really cool to use it on your life stuff too. To make your own priority-making matrix, you need a piece of paper and...

You don't always have control over your environment, but you do have say over what goes on your body. Today I'm sharing my top 5 ways to keep yourself cozy as a baby lamb snuggled up to its mama, no matter where you are. As my favorite pin says, "Cozy does it." ** This episode sponsored by (thank you for supporting our sponsors!)**: Air Doctor – Use promo code BETTER to save up to $300 on this Ult...

Environment is such a big piece of your wellbeing. It’s definitely worth taking a little time to set up your space for a little extra coziness. I promise these ideas are inexpensive and you likely already have things on hand that will help you execute them.  ** This episode sponsored by (thank you for supporting our sponsors!)**: Air Doctor – Use promo code BETTER to save up to $300 on this UltraH...

This week on the podcast is all about finding comfort and coziness. It’s just the time of year when it’s cold and dark (at least here in the Northern hemisphere), so craving feeling all toasty in snug is natural. But seeking coziness is more than just a comfort measure–it’s a survival mechanism that boosts all aspects of health. Yes! That throw blanket and those fuzzy socks really are giving you l...

This one’s for all you verbal processors–people who have to talk about something in order to figure out what you really think about it (raising my own hand here). There’s just something about how you say stuff to another person that can come straight off the truth, like a wind that comes down a mountain. You’re not overthinking, you’re just talking and boom, there it is.  Today I’m sharing three w...

When you can tell that you’re not thinking clearly about something it can be so frustrating!  Here’s what I’ve learned–it’s not trying to think the same thing, just harder, that helps you think more clearly. It’s thinking differently. Which…how do you do that exactly?  I’ve got two questions to ask yourself that help you do just that.  My interview with Andrea about breaking the cycle of anger My...

Sometimes there’s just so much stuff rattling around inside your head that it’s hard to sit with one thought. Today I’m sharing the morning ritual I’ve been doing that has helped me extract all that noise from my brain and put it somewhere where a) I don’t have to think about it anymore and b) get some objectivity on those thoughts.  It’s part of a week of episodes dedicated to thinking straight–s...

We all know that the initial rush of a new relationship wanes. But does that mean that if you're in a long-term relationship your sex life has no choice but to fizzle out? No. Today's guest is Dr. Stephen Snyder, author of Love Worth Making and a sex therapist in NYC who has some awesome news and practical, doable, fun tips to help you enjoy and foster that physical connection to your partner--eve...

I get that women typically do way more of the emotional and the household labor and that it needs to end. BUT, keeping score is not the way out. If it were, we'd have made more progress on this front than we have. ** This episode sponsored by (thank you for supporting our sponsors!)**:  Air Doctor – Use promo code BETTER23 to save up to $350 on an air purifier, 20$ off filters, and get a free 3-ye...

What if the things that your partner does that drive you crazy suddenly didn’t annoy you so much anymore? Because we all have things about our partner that make us nuts. Today’s big idea is that the flip side of the things that initially draw you to someone and that you value about them the most is often exactly what drives you the craziest. It’s the yin and yang of life--the very thing that draws...

Ever felt like you’re running as fast as you can, but you’re still not getting anywhere?  That’s how a listener named Nicole was feeling. She wrote: “At the end of every day I feel like even though I was busy all day, I didn’t do anything that’s getting me any closer to my goals. After going to meetings, running errands, making dinner, walking the dog, answering emails–I’m wiped out but don’t feel...

Today I’m answering a listener question that I think a lot of women can relate to.  Camille from Canada writes, “Lately I’ve realized that I spend a lot of time–too much time–and energy on worrying about other people. I love being a good friend and family member to others, but I’ve been feeling really frazzled lately, and like I’m not paying enough attention to my own life and needs. Does it make...

Today I’m answering a listener question from Kristin, who writes: “Lately I’ve been thinking about all I have to do as I lie in bed at night, and although I do manage to fall asleep, as soon as I wake up I already feel behind. I want to have more time to connect with friends, or putter around in the garden, or go to the beach, or just…read a book but I’m not sure how to get off this hamster wheel....

You don’t have to drag your butt to a museum in order to interact with artwork. You can do it from home in ways that maybe you never thought of or that you might think don’t count, but they DO! They absolutely do. This episode originally aired earlier in the pandemic--but hey, winter can be it's own kind of lockdown. And winter is coming. This episode sponsored by (thank you for supporting our spo...

Reading is such a great way to lose yourself in a story, gain empathy for all different kinds of people in all different kinds of situations, stimulate your brain and your imagination, and just plain ole have fun. But it’s something that a lot of people feel they just don’t have the time or the focus (or both) for. Today’s episode offers not three, not five, but seven ways to read more–including o...

I originally wrote this episode during the pandemic when life felt extra hard–and guess what, now, in November 2024, life is also feeling difficult albeit for different reasons including an impossible situation in the Middle East. Humans have long turned to art to help them make sense of and get through tough times. This week on the podcast I’m talking about how to consume art as a means to being...

Today’s trait is running late and forgetting to write people back and therefore, potentially letting other people down. Let me just say, I FEEL this one. Something else I’ll add about this topic that wasn’t on my radar when I first wrote this episode (because I was currently swimming in it) is that perimenopause can make you forgetful and spacey. Yep! Another thing to blame on your erratic hormone...