Final Fancast

Mike & Remy play through the entirety of The Final Fantasy Legend, a Gameboy game that beats us up, gives us swirlies, and pushes us inside our lockers. We'll learn to RTFM, discover the importance of a proper diet for monsters, and commit the podcast's very first act of deicide. Will it be our last? Stay tuned. But probably no.

Mike & Remy set the controllers down and get literary AF. How many books and manga have been written about Final Fantasy I, II, and III? This many. All of these. We'll talk about all of them but especially Final Fantasy I * II * III: Memory of Heroes.   Books & Manga Covered Komikku-Ban Final Fantasy (Final Fantasy Comic Version), by Yuu Kaimeiji; manga, 12/1/1989, pub.: Takarajimasha, Inc. Final...

Let's power through this Crystal Tower and finish Final Fantasy III. These final dungeons do go on a bit, don't they? Unei offers unsettling dream interpretation. Xande pulls a classic villain move. Force Ghost Doga returns to feed elderly men to dragons. We lose a fight with nasty weather and mash that snooze button on the cosmic alarm clock. Apologies to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Benny Hill "Ya...

Onward to the Labyrinth of Ancients and Syrcus Tower! We fight a Titan made up of four Gastlies then touch another crystal and are imbued with exciting new vocational skills. Remy timeloops back to Eureka. Talking weapons are cool. The knight job is okay I guess. Does the ranger have wilderness survival skills or…?

Mike acquires some summon monsters. We get a rad new airship that comes with guns and a free bed – but who services the Invincible's vending machines? How does Unei use dream mastery to clean up some rock mess? How precious is human mortality actually? I wonder how the Hecatoncheir feels about his precious mortality after we kill him dead.   Mike spills some tea about the development of FF3. Along...

Four geezers save us from exploding shoes then trick us with shrooms. Goldor, who likes gold, throws his evilest money at us. Bards sing some tunes. We get shot down in Saronia for interrupting a heated shirts vs. skins staring contest. Remy stumbles upon one weird trick Odins hate. Mike gets quizzed on colors. Stops at Goldor Manor, the Circle Cave, the Sunken Cavern, and the Saronia catacombs .

The mystery of the gysahl greens is revealed! A piano is played. We bask in our sheer confusion re: fundamental aspects of these player characters' identities. Which of these lil dudes gets invited back to Princess Sarah's castle after the adventure concludes? Desch's girlfriend needs a pep talk. A blue lady is a key. A generosity challenge is undertaken and one of us is shooting for extra credit...

You know what? Let's keep playing this game and nab that fire crystal. Experiments are conducted to answer questions from last episode. Lali-ho! Dwarves have more hats. We bought a bunch of Gutsco Protein Powder and became our own bosses. But what's going on with that snake around Gutsco? The mystery of the missing Glass Tower is not that big of a mystery. How does thievery work? Should we steal f...

First we cast toad. Now we become the toads. Plus, honeys, we shrunk ourselves! Hey, what's in this gnomish bread? Also a snake attacked. It hurt us. It hurt us real bad. Can we hurt it real bad? Probably not, right? This dungeon has a serious rodent problem. Remy learns about double negatives the hard way. A chocobo travel dare is undertaken. Original Chocobo Art:  https://gamerant.com/final-fant...

The CRYSTALS speak! The podcast has begun a new game, a Fantasy so FINAL that it can only be undertaken by four brave ONION KNIGHTS (whatever they are). MIKE offers the most revolting description of the BASILISK you could possibly imagine, while REMY, the last hope for decency and decorum, enlists the help of four retirees from the fabled city of MIAMI. Meanwhile, the Dragon King BAHAMUT squaws an...

Cyclone devastation! "Everyone is dead." How many father figures can one game kill off? Let's finish Final Fantasy II before it gives us the depressions. Mirrors summon dragons. We kill the Emperor. (He gets better.) Then we dance for a very long time. Afters, we'll treat ourselves to a little headcanon. EPIC REVEAL: Leon is a jerk. Cid gifts you an early Xmas present then gifts himself a nice lie...

Remy's upset about something. Not sure what. The podcast ends, but then it keeps going anyway. Mike is attacked by a wild quiz. The toad spell becomes Remy's entire way of life. The Red Soul is back – but not for long. The Basilisk is also back but it's okay actually. Cyclone fortresses are cool but how do they work? Joe Rogan's not gonna see this episode coming.

We play until we defeat Gottos in Fynn then drop by the Tower of Mysidia. Garland sasses us on mic. We celebrate our first chocobo sighting then face our greatest challenge yet: pronunciation. Mike and Remy steal a sacred artifact and kill a member of an endangered species. Gosh, what else happened? Enter Layla the pirate. Exit the king. We break out of the prison in our mind. Plus, move over flat...

Mike & Remy say goodbye to Josef, say hello to Pancake Josef, snowcraft into the icy Snow Cave, and finally blow up the Dreadnaught. Now we have questions. Is the Adamantoise actually a turtle or a tortoise? Why the Red Soul gotta be so nasty? Why is gold stuff better than mythril stuff? What happens if we blow up the dreadnought before saving Princess Hilda? Can Were-Panthers turn into humans or…...

We play until the Dreadnaught takes off. Actually we still like this game a lot. Airships are cool. Dreadnoughts are very cool. But then Palamecia does war crimes. Let's talk about what makes FFII unique so far. New mechanics, new ways of interacting. Remy gets wrecked by werewolves and vampires. Will other Universal Monsters join in later? This game tells you what areas you're supposed to wait to...

First episode of Final Fantasy II. We played until we rescued the miners and Josef's daughter, Nelly, from the Mythril mine and return to Altair. We got a full FF game under our belt now and we're feeling ourselves. One step closer to FF podcasting legitimacy. Mike gets a super legit Final Fantasy pop quiz! Enter Minwu, a favorite character to whom nothing bad shall ever happen. Final Fantasy II's...

We finished Final Fantasy I! Time loops are literally the worst. How do they even work? Aesthetics of a fallen civilization: always be robed. Did they originally try to call it Fighting Fantasy? Really? BUT FOR REAL, THOUGH? Plus listen in to our very first Final Fancast "Final Fancast" where we discuss which character Awkwafina should play in the movie version. One Last Thing Here's that old Nint...

Let's play the Cave of Trials through defeating the Kraken. Mike vents his spleen about FF16. Remy vents their spleen about memorization puzzles. Mike encounters his very first time loop and has to replay the first game thus far. We have our first airship sighting in the series, our characters evolve like Pokemon, and we chill with our new bestie, Bahamut. What do the Black Mage and the Invisible...

We're playing from the Lich's defeat up 'til we nab the Fire and Ice Crystals. Lessons are learned along the way, like instant death spells sound metal AF but are bad actually. Plus, we'll take our first Mythology Minute (or five) to talk about dwarves and elves. Can we get some therapy for the guy who's sleeping against a gravestone? What does any of this have to do with Mr. Bucket? Plus Mike and...

The journey of a thousand games begins with a single save file. Mike and Remy start from Square(-Enix) one: the very beginning of FFI. Mike outlines his storied relationship with the Final Fantasy series. Remy recites what they know, which isn't very much and also isn't very accurate. Valuable lessons are learned about life, death, and one key difference between churches in Final Fantasy and churc...