Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming - sorry "Police Academy" fandom! - to bring you part 1 of 3 horror-themed episodes centered around the reason for the season, Halloween! In this episode, Mike blasts Jay with 2001's "Thirteen Ghosts," the Tony Shalhoub and Matthew Lillard-starring dumpster fire that provides more headaches than scares. The guys then follow up with their bottom five...

Jay forces Mike to address the elephant in the room, or more precisely the elephant in Bill Murray's career, by assigning 1996's "Larger Than Life" as this week's main review. Does Mike send this pachyderm packing, or does he have a pocketful of peanuts? (Maybe he's just happy to see us?) Regardless, the guys then argue through their list of bottom five sidekicks before offering up some questionab...

Unimaginably, Mike assigned a movie so terrible that it made Jay believe he'd rather be stuck in traffic. The movie? The failed pilot for the 1991 "Knight Rider" reboot: "Knight Rider 2000." With a convoluted plotline that mixes politics and mediocre muscle car stunts, "KR2K" - which is what all the cool kids call this one - is a special version of insipid blandness chock-full of bad science and w...

Mike boldly goes where he has never gone before in the fascinatingly awful fifth installment of the original Star Trek franchise, which leads to entirely too much giggling on Trekkie/Trekker Jay's part. The guys then count off their bottom five Gods, a listing of weak-sauce, evil and egocentric deities that's sure to cause a rumble or two of thunder. Will their houses still be standing by this epi...

While Mike takes a blissful walk down memory lane recalling his early adolescent adoration of the 1994 cinematic abomination "Brainscan," Jay blubbers his way through a review of the movie, never quite leaving the fetal position caused by Eddie Furlong's acting. Can listing off their bottom-five games played in movies rebuild the guys' friendship, or was this act of Filmjitsu simply too deadly?!

In this episode, Mike goes into the deep waters of no/low-budget cinema where Jay holds all the life-preservers. Will he sink or swim while tackling writer/director H.P. Mendoza's "I am a Ghost?" Also in the mix is David Lowry's "A Ghost Story" which was assigned by Jay as a bit of contextual extra-credit due to similarities between it and Mendoza's work. Have the guys discovered a weird case of h...

Awards-bait isn't the usual kind of cinema Filmjitsu is known for, and films directed by David Fincher typically wouldn't be found around these parts either. Yet Mike shoves Jay in the curious path of "Benjamin Button" and as it turns out, yep, an Oscar-winner helmned by an A-list director can punish as well as grade-z trash. To double-down on the madness, the guys offer up their bottom five movie...

After being tormented mercilessly by Mike with several crushing cinematic blows, Jay retaliates with a haymaker: Brian Henson's 2018 dirty-puppet movie, "The Happytime Murders." An uber-dud the likes of which few have ever seen, the guys try to rationalize why a movie like this even exists and then tally their bottom five puppets, which includes nods to the work of David Lynch, Peter Jackson, and....

Jay demonstrates the rule of diminishing returns when Mike challenges him to watch "Amityville 3-D," the tertiary installment of the enduring franchise that should have been put out of its misery after part two. The guys then go on to list their bottom five houses, a list that details cinematic homes they'd listen to when told to "GET OUT."

The guys go where no podcast should ever go, into the gaping maw of a tonally uneven whimsical-dramatic-comedy-thriller from Colin Trevorrow that may or may not have sunk the director's job as Star Wars Episode IX's director. As such, Mike and Jay produce a list of bottom five follow-ups featuring filmmakers who chased some of their greatest successes with some truly garbage next films. Coppola, J...

In this special episode, Mike and Jay interview guest Dane Elcar, the writer-director of the sci-fi-horror-drama "Brightwood" which has been making the rounds on the festival circuit. A mind-bending time-trip of a movie, "Brightwood" isn't the usual deadly-weapon fare featured on Filmjitsu and is instead a recommended indie that's sure to have viewers talking as the end credits roll. Its creator d...

Disassociated while lost in the hallucinogenic haze and violence of Nicholas Cage's 2018 flick "Mandy," Jay returns to Earth bitter, frustrated and out for vengeance himself. In turn, Mike giggles at Jay's pain like the title character at an exposed cult-leader's member. The guys then relay their bottom five freak-outs, a controversial list of filmic experimentation and intense over-emoting that i...

"Knock Knock," asks Jay, grinning. "Who's there?" replies Mike, unsmiling. "Eli Roth's 2015 cinematic disaster 'Knock Knock,'" Jay introduces. There's a pause while both hosts look for a punchline that proves to be anyone that has sat through this, perhaps Keanu Reeves's worst acting ever. Naturally, the guys chase this cinematic atrocity with a list of their bottom five male superstar performance...

Mike goes for the jugular and instead finds one of Jay’s sweet spots when “Timecop” in brought into the ring. The 1994 sci-fi adventure starring Jean Claude Van Damme is a lame-brained time-travel fiasco, but as directed by Peter Hyams, it’s not without its charms. That said, the guys turn their clocks back to look at some even worse chronological chaos with their Bottom Five Time Travels! See sho...

Going where no episode of Filmjitsu has ever gone, Jason curses Mike with the unenviable task of having to sit through the sprawling 1985 Oscar-winning epic, "Out of Africa." Low on shlock, but full of breathtaking cinematography, the Robert Redford-Meryl Streep-starring romantic drama proves to be at-once well-regarded yet nigh-unwatchable, unlocking a new level of deadly cinema: the boring prest...

The first proper episode of the new Filmjitsu finds Jay struggling with words and unsure of when to stop hiding from behind his couch after Mike dares him to view 2019's multi-Razzi nominated "Cats." Also, in honor of this grand cinematic achievement, Mike and Jay offer up their Bottom Five A**holes. See show notes and more at the website!

The truth is, we’re not sure anyone needs more opinions from two middle-aged, average white dudes, but here they are. Mike has resurrected his monster of a podcast and with the help of new co-host Jay, explains why it has returned and offers up a Bottom Five Reboots/Remakes in the process! See show notes and more at the website!