Fierce Marriage

The idea of counseling conjures all manner of reaction. Some couples spurn it, others welcome it. Why? And, can all couples benefit from counseling? In this episode, Ryan and Selena talk about whether or not counseling aligns with God's Word, and if so, how it might help couples, whether they're going through a difficult time or not. We hope this episode blesses you! This four part series has been...

If you've ever felt discontent with your sex life, you're not alone. in this episode, we answered the oft-asked question, How often should we be having sex? As you'd imagine, we looked at various passages of Scripture and contrasted the biblical view with that of the world. We then ended with three very practical questions for you to ask yourself and your spouse about your sex life together. Enjoy...

Should we be the final word on when to have kids? Or should every married couple have as many kids as possible because children are a blessing? Or... maybe these are the wrong questions to be asking in the first place? In this episode, we make an exciting announcement and, coincidentally, it has a ton to do with how we ask/answer the question "when is the right time to have kids?" We trust you'll...

Your deepest held beliefs, while they affect every aspect of life (including marriage), aren't always biblical. This can make it incredibly hard to discuss sensitive topics or work through deep disagreements in marriage. As we've discussed often, your beliefs always inform your behaviors. In this week's episode we talked about what a worldview is while contrasting biblical Christianity against 5 n...

This week we recapped a few recent arguments we had to help illustrate how this one ingredient changes everything. While our fights had to do with dinners and sex, they each actually had nothing to do with either. You'll have to listen to the episode to discover what that means! Spoiler alert: the ingredient is super obvious, but how it's added makes all the difference. We hope it strengthens your...

Words like vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-regard, and egotism all have one thing in common: the self is viewed as the crux of importance. They also describe narcissistic personality disorder. Everyone is selfish to a degree, but narcissists are self-focused at an extreme level. In today's episode we discussed narcissism as a personality disorder,...

Sheridan Voysey and his wife, Merryn were devastated when they realized their dream of having children would never become a reality. After infertility, an international move, and a professional change shook the Voysey's world, Sheridan realised that he couldn’t reconcile his expectations with the life he was living. In today's episode, Sheridan shares their story of heartbreak, despair, healing, p...

Decisions, decisions! The average couple makes hundreds of small decisions and many significant ones on a daily basis. The question is, where do our choices come from? As we discussed in this episode, every decision is rooted in some core value, and our core values have to do with our views of wisdom and folly as well as our ability to act on our views. This conversation got a bit heady, but we st...

Serving is not likely to make it to the top of most people's "things that are sexy about marriage" list. Still, serving one another is one of the most profound (if not THE most profound) ways to love each other in marriage. In today's episode, we discussed three ways Jesus showed us to serve one another when he washed his disciples' feet. We also shared some of what's been going on personally as i...

Infidelity causes catastrophic damage to a marriage. Can it be survived? In today's special interview with author and speaker Tina Konkin, we discuss just that. Tina shares with great detail how God used her husband's affair, despite the damaging effects, to transform her heart and her marriage for the better. Listen in, we hope it blesses you. Read Tina's book, "How God Used the Other Woman" or c...

Being betrayed by the one you love is one of the worst feelings imaginable. How can a couple find reconciliation and healing after trust is shattered. It's not easy and it requires both spouses to work hard, but there is hope. In today's episode we discussed stories in betrayal in the Bible—namely how we've betrayed God in sin—and what they can show us about finding reconciliation in the wake of b...

As we discovered, there is a vast array of manipulation methods at play in human relationships. The question is, which ones are you unwittingly using against each other in your marriage? Rationalization, minimization, lying (by omission and commission), shaming, vilifying, seduction, and many other methods might be at work in ways you're unaware. In this episode, we explored what the Bible says ab...

Today we discussed gardening (of all things) and how "knowing our soil" in marriage is critical to loving each other in the fullest context of covenantal love. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly patrons get plenty of perks, including free books, ebooks, silicone rings, and exclusive ministry updates. Patron levels star...

Have you ever felt that the person you thought was your best friend and your spouse has turned into more of a roommate? If so, then this conversation will help you. Sharon Jaynes is the author of many books, but in this interview we're discussing Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy". We hope this conversation helps you see your marriage from a fresh pers...

Laughing is one of the best ways to break your marriage out of a funk. Could it be that laughter is a gift and a grace of God designed specifically to lift our hearts and clear the air in our relationships? In this week's episode we answered three questions about laughter and talked through various examples in Scripture where laughter, playfulness, and childlike faith. We hope this podcast helps y...

Expectations are constantly at work in every marriage. The question is whether or not we're aware of them and in agreement on what they should be. In this episode we posed dozens of questions for listener consideration about expectations in sex, money, communication, in-laws, hobbies, divisions of chores/labor, church, and more. While this episode will be particularly helpful for our nearly- and n...

The Jacobsons are a gift and a blessing. In this episode we talked about how God's view for marriage and family is so much better than our own or the world's. We specifically covered when to have kids (they had 8, and late!), the adventure of marriage God's way, porn & purity, how to prioritize your marriage over kids, and so much more. This interview is one of our favorites, and we're confide...

Soft hearts are necessary for a healthy, thriving, happy marriage. But our tendency is not to remain soft toward each other. Bad days happen, tiredness, sin, crisis, arguments, and more can contribute to each of the three indicators of whether or not your hearts are soft toward one another. We also discussed four efforts you can employ today to help soften your hearts if you feel them hardening. W...

With everything going on in society, we thought it would be timely to discuss ways to have productive political conversations as a couple. While we didn't cover the hot-topics themselves, hopefully this episode will help you and your spouse "come to the table" and hash out tough political disagreements. We discussed the four big presuppositions to every conversation, the cultural lies they dispel,...

In today's episode we talked with Jerrad Lopes, author of Dad Tired: Stumbling Your Way to Spiritual Leadership. Jerrad shared how his wife's prayers softened his heart when he thought they were on the brink of divorce, and we also talked about what helps bring men back to life in fatherhood and marriage. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/Fierce...

Though this episode is still about marriage, we never anticipated how timely its message of hope would be. In today's episode we encourage listeners to remember that marriage is less about perfection and more about perspective and perseverance. You're both learning, you're both going to make mistakes, and you're both works in progress. God hasn't given up on either of you yet, so neither should yo...

If you could change one thing about your spouse, what would it be? Life would be so much easier if we could just change our spouse, right? The problem is, God never called husbands and wives to change each other... heart change is God's domain alone. So, what can we do when we're living in a relationship where we're unequally yoked and change is needed, but you're powerless to make it happen? Than...

Today we got to talk with our friend Gary Thomas about his latest book When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. When and where do believers draw the line when people are toxic and draining? For more information, visit WhenToWalkAwayBook.com! Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly patrons get plenty of perks, i...

A listener asked, "who we should let influence our thoughts, opinions, and actions" in life and marriage. Join us as we root out the where and why we believe voices and ideas that shouldn't have input into our lives. Warning, things got a little more fiery... but we still had fun. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly pat...

A listener wrote in with a great question. She mentioned that they know they need to grow in their marriage, they want to experience deeper levels of intimacy, and they know they need to center their home on Christ... but then she asked, where do we start? "Do we just pick up our Bible and read?" In this episode, we talked about three big areas to consider as you, as a couple, learn to be disciple...