Fangs For Waiting

 If you have a thing for beautiful women and spiders, then you're in the right place. If you're like me and run away in a panic from both of those things... stay put and face your fears head on. We could also use the plays... The Jorōgumo is a sexy spider lady that wants strapping young men to come on over fill her up... with blood! If you thought you were gonna get it on with a random MILF c...

 This one goes out to all the shitters of the world! Grab some brewskies and buckle up, cos Christine is gonna take you for one Hell of a ride! Just make sure you don't spill your drink on the seat, unless your ass is ready to be obliterated by the haunted 1958 Plymouth Fury.  Whether it's an unholy possession, or objectophilia, Arnie immediately falls in love with a strange old car name...

"Disappointment is the nurse of wisdom." -Sir Boyle Roche "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope" -Martin Luther King, Jr. "Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy – the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation." -Eric Hoffer "Assuming is the root of all disappointments." -Rogienel Reyes Nine Lives is by no means a disappointment.... because I...

 Tip-Toe on in my precious, little prize. For I've something to bestow upon your innocent eyes. A tragic loss is never fun, but now a vacancy awaits. Explore the red room, tiny dancer, thou shalt decide all of your fates. Secrets undone after blood has been spilt, but remain stagnant in your bed. Or choose to get up, turn the Iris around and risk loosing your head. Suspiria (1977) get yo ass...

 Drag your ass in here and allow us to be the haunting, demonic voices in your head! Drag Me to Hell is fun, fresh, and full of enough jump scares to make you go, "yeah, that was alright..."! Hope you're into watching people get mouthfuls of bodily fluids and other gnarly juices, cos this movie is all about it's barf-worthy(and almost intimate) mouth-to-mouth moments. Vomité mucho. ante la vi...

 Put a rubber on cos shit's about to get fucked! And when you're done coating that banana with chocolate, take a seat, cos we're gonna talk about Rubber! A movie that initially seems so simple but starts to get your wheels turning. A film that goes deeper than you could imagine. A plot that spins with so much centrifugal force, you can't help but lose yourself. Roll into this diabolical, butt...

 Ohhh shit! It's mystery time! He-hey everybody, it's mystery time! Yahhh, woo! Come on everybody, let's be best friends! Put your hands in the mystery box! Shit, put both your hands in the mystery box! You can trust us, put your hands in our mystery box! You'll be so happy when you grab something from the mystery box! Ahhhhhhhh JESUS! MMMMMMM-MM........OHHHHHHH!!!!! MYSTERY BOX!!!!

 What has one eye, long claws, caiman skin, backward feet, a mouth on its belly, and a stench so foul it could kill you? Yo mama! What has all that, but lives in the Amazon? Why, none other than the Mapinguari, of course. While the two are nearly identical, the Mapinguari tends to swallow men in a more literal sense, making it slightly more terrifying than your mom. At least the Mapinguari do...

 Four directors come together to deliver four short films in this female-led anthology. "The Box" reminds us why we shouldn't ask strange old men what's inside the box on his lap. If it isn't his penis, then it's probably a curse! "The Birthday" is a humorous short that makes you think maybe a little too long about how you'd hide a loved ones corpse. "Don't Fall" is a quick and painless (for...

Enough is never enough. Just one taste of The Stuff will have you running back for more... But a taste of its true nature will have you running for your life! While the majority of the population are mouth-fucking the shit out of the alien fluff, a few people notice something very off about it. Moe, and for some reason, Jason, witness the sinister effects of consuming The Stuff and must do whateve...

 It's been 30 years since Norval's dad left to get a pack of smokes, and now, out of nowhere, he's asked his son to come see him. Eager to find out why he sent the sudden invite, Norval (Elijah Wood) sets out to reunite with his estranged padre. After a brief, warm welcome, things start to go south. Obviously. I mean, what else could you expect from a film called "Come to Daddy?" Turns out da...

Oh boy, here we go again with more fucked up baby shit. Eraserhead is an unsettling black and white film that continuously grows more and more disturbing with every passing scene. Which is probably why that sick son of a bitch, Joe, picked it for the podcast. Stay away from Joe, everyone. The movie follows Henry (John Nance) as he finds out Mary (Charlotte Stewart) is prego with his eggo, or, sper...

 Babies suck. Don't give me that "they're life's little miracles" shit. My friend has two and even though she loves them (I think), I'm pretty sure they're far from being miracles. Sorry Colbie, but Uncle Josh tells it like it is. At least I can say they're better than a Tiyanak. Oh, "a what?" you ask? A Tiyanak is... heh, like I'd tell you here. Click play and you'll hear everything you need...

 The Gardeners seem to be living a relatively peaceful life in the middle of the deep woods, nestled in their cozy farmhouse, when suddenly, a meteor lands in their backyard and turns their world upside down. And then, like, inside out. And then it just...twists it into a pretzel shape, eats it, poops it out, takes a picture of it, and puts it on the fridge cos the teacher gave it an A+. Colo...

  Imagine all but a small handful of life on Earth vanishing overnight. Everything you know and love is gone. Your friends: gone. Your dog: dust. Your favorite actor: hasta la vista, baby. As far as you know, the last people on the entire planet are you and your younger sister. Oh and sentient zombies...yeah those too. You probably wanna paint the walls with your brains, huh? Maybe turn...

  It's the year 2047 and human-kind has taken its sweet ass to space. From colonizing on the moon to reaching more distant planets in the solar system, things are looking up. But not all intergalactic explorations end in cotton candy and rainbows. While finally on their way home from a long voyage, Captain Miller (Laurence Fishburne) and his team are given a last-minute mission to invest...

 I have three words for you, baby: sunglasses, muscles, and mullets. If that's the shit that gets you sticky like a bag of twizzlers in a hot car, then They Live is just what you need to fill the cold, dark void in your life. That's right, losing a loved one is tough, but FOMO is tougher. You don't wanna be that one person that doesn't know about this movie, do you? You're gonna look like a s...

 Some people go to Ireland to take in the beautiful scenery, experience the culture, maybe kiss the Blarney stone. But once in a while you get that group of teenagers that visits solely to do shrooms in the middle of the woods (cos America doesn't have either of those), and that's just what Tara and her friends do. Escorted by Tara's old fling and magic mushroom connoisseur, Jake, the gang is...

 In this episode of FFW, each of us take a turn reading a couple short stories we've never seen before, selected by the other two guys. With some being on the creepy side and others being - well - interesting, we definitely did not see some of these coming. Join us for a good laugh during this laid-back episode. And also take a moment to appreciate the new artwork by Joe if you haven't alread...

 On the trestle above the Pope Lick Creek lies a monster so grotesque that people have killed themselves over the mere sight of it's face. Half-man/ half-goat, the Pope Lick Monster is not you're typical goat-man voiced by Danny DeVito. While the Satyr poured wine and spread cheer in honor of Dionysus, the only thing the Pope Lick poured was blood....and plenty of it. From axing people to hyp...

 It's Luke Lerner's last chance to get with his babysitter, Ashley, before she moves away to Pittsburgh. Though Ashley makes it very clear to him that statutory rape isn't on her evening agenda, Luke seems like he'll stop at nothing to get what he wants. While being pursued by the twelve-year-old, Ashley can't help but notice that something seems off and soon realizes that the Lerner's home i...

 It's Christmas time in Snowmonton and spirits are warm and bright. The townsfolk are all excited for the annual snowman building competition. Darling little Ryan (who may, or may not, have been dropped a few times as an infant) is cooking up very special confections for his father. And oh! Who's that nipping at your nose? Haha! Why, it's Jack Frost! The jolly snowman with a smile that glows!...

  Better watch out! Santa Claus is coming to town! But what exactly are his intentions? Harry (Brandon Maggart) has always had the most Christmas spirit out of anyone, but one traumatizing memory of his favorite night of the year leaves him devastated. Thirty-three years later, now working in a toy factory, he decides to keep a disturbingly close eye on all the children in the area to de...

 Throw on a tuxedo, grab a seat, and call yourself 007, cos today we're shaking things up with a cool and refreshing cryptid.  Does James Bond have any relevance to this episode?  Absolutely not.  But it's a decent introduction and I don't regret using it.  No, this episode leans a little closer to the flying monkeys from The Wizard Of Oz.  And that's cos our creature...

  It's not always easy being a stepfather; it's a role that brings a lot of new change to a family’s life.  It isn't too uncommon to find yourself butting heads with your new stepchildren.  Stabbing the shit out of them with a kitchen knife though....not too sure about that one.  But who knows, maybe Terry O'Quinn's character had a good reason to turn his entire family into human pin cushions?  Wh...