Evolutionary Men

In this episode, I dive into the crucial distinction between having needs and being needy. Understanding this difference is vital for fostering healthy relationships and ensuring that we connect with the right people in our lives. The characteristics of neediness and how it can push people away. The importance of expressing our needs directly and taking ownership of them. How neediness often stems...

Discover the secrets to a sizzling sex life that keeps getting better and better year after year! In this episode, Violet and I reveal our sexual journey, sharing candid tips on maintaining erotic energy and emotional connection. Learn why safety, vulnerability, and shared responsibility are the keys to unlocking unparalleled pleasure and deepening your bond. Whether you're struggling with sex...

In this episode, my wife Violet and I dive deep into the raw, real, and often messy side of relationships by sharing our three biggest fights and lessons from them. From trust issues and emotional disregulation to financial stress and fertility struggles, we explore how rupture and repair are essential for growth in any partnership. We also introduce our new programs, Evolutionary Couples & 12...

If you only had about 2 hours a week to spend on your relationship, how could you use that time most wisely? The truth is relationships can be incredibly challenging, especially in today’s fast-paced world where it can be hard to prioritize the relationship. Even when partners deeply love each other, they may face difficulties in maintaining passion, resolving conflicts, and growing together over...

In this episode, I challenge the negative perception of "nice guys" in the men's work world. The truth is, being a nice guy is an evolutionary leap in masculinity as it brings online kindness and sensitivity in men. It's not about killing or getting rid of our nice guy, but instead is all about integrating him along with our power.

In this episode I explore reveals three game-changing types of fluidity - nervous system, emotional, and polarity - that can skyrocket your personal growth and relationships. Learn how mastering these skills can help you effortlessly navigate stress, emotions, and social dynamics. Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at heartofshadow.com

Join Dr. Luke Adler and me in this powerful episode in the Heart of Shadow podcast series as we sit down with three courageous men—Michael, Sean, and Shawn who have undergone the transformative Heart of Shadow program. They open up about their journeys - sharing how the program helped them confront and heal deep-seated anger, fear, and past traumas. The discussion delves into the unique and powerf...

In this episode, I'm again joined by my co-facilitator Dr. Luke Adler, a Chinese medicine doctor who's led over 50,000 healing sessions. We discuss the intersection of Chinese medicine and shadow work and delve into the holistic approach of Chinese medicine and its connection to mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We highlight how physiology and visceral sensations play a vital ro...

In this episode, I explore the difference between temporary state experiences and permanent stage transformations, emphasizing that while retreats, workshops, and spiritual practices can provide powerful glimpses into new ways of being, the real work lies in integrating these experiences into daily life through consistent effort, community support, and structural changes that facilitate lasting gr...

In this episode, I delve into the unique pain of debt - be it financial, health, or emotional. I share my personal experiences with credit card debt, weight loss struggles, and tackling years of accumulated clutter to highlight a common thread: the pain and paralysis of facing overwhelming debts in various aspects of life. I explore the challenging journey of paying off these "debts," high...

In this episode, I am joined by Luke Adler as we discuss the raw, unfiltered reality of personal growth and shadow work. We pull back the curtain on our own ongoing struggles with maintaining sexual vitality, showing up for our families, and confronting shame in long-term relationships. We explore how neglecting our core energies can lead to disconnection and unfulfilling patterns. We also dive in...

In this episode, I tackle a critical mistake in personal development: setting ambitious goals without addressing our nervous system's state. I challenge the "mind over matter" approach, introducing the counterintuitive concept of regulate first and action will follow. By prioritizing nervous system regulation and fostering genuine connection, we create a foundation of safety that enabl...

Almost every man I work with struggles with either mental or emotional rumination throughout their life. In this episode, I explore 3 strategies to help you stop ruminating as a man. Get support in person at the  Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat . Get support virtually in a  Breakthrough Coaching Group.

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I delve into the nuanced discussion of why men often fear coming forward emotionally, especially in intimate relationships. We explore the idea that while there is a growing expectation for men to be more vulnerable and emotional, there can be a disconnect when men express their emotions and their partners don't respond as expected....

In this episode I break down the subtle but important difference between waiting for permission from the outside to take action, and the much deeper capacity to rest in consciousness until we get a clear signal inside ourselves that it's time to act.

This episode explores the concept of masculine leadership via creating shared reality. Shared reality involves mutual understanding and connection, minimizing conflict that arises from a lack of being on the same page. This leadership brings structure, clarity, and context to situations, making implicit things explicit and creating safety along the way.

In this episode, I further bust the lone wolf myth, highlighting how the "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality isn't all we think it to be, and why men grow best in a collective.

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow podcast series, Luke Adler and I talk about the habit of men using ejaculation for self-regulation, and how a powerful alternative is to step more into our experience via checking in with a men's group. Join the Heart of Shadow waitlist at heartofshadow.com

In this episode, I explore the important difference between integrity and congruence, and how crucially important it is to understand the distinction for nice guys.

This episode is short and sweet and about the important reframe of focusing on a better, not easier life, and how connection and community are the most powerful ingredients for that to happen.

In this episode, I chat with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Luke Adler about the common experience of men wanting to understand everything and how that's often a way to resist feeling. We go deep into how this can lead to staying in the realm of the mind and avoiding emotional connection. We explore the power of moving from the head to the heart and body to come into our full power as men.

Inspired by one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs, in this episode I talk about what it means to "Do the Evolution", and its significance in personal growth and development. Drawing from developmental theory, I explore what it means to "do the work" through the lens of subject-object relations and how our awareness evolves allowing us to "see" more and more and thus make diffe...

Every intimate relationship will cross a critical, often make-or-break threshold moment in which the two foundational components of polarity and intimacy invert. Tune in to this episode to learn about this important milestone, what often goes wrong, and what tools can support your relationship in thriving beyond this moment.

In this episode, I'm excited to welcome friend and healer David Romero to delve into the healing potentials of psychedelic medicines. David shares his fascinating journey from the military to yoga, mental health, and psychedelic healing. He shares the importance of developing a relationship with the medicines, how they aren't a magical cure-all, the power of mindset and setting when workin...

In this episode, I delve into the transformative power of shifting our mindset from 'moving away' to 'moving toward', a crucial pivot that can radically alter our lives. I shine a light on our common male tendency to dodge emotional discomfort and the profound healing that unfolds when we bravely face our feelings. I then explore the vital role of vision in guiding our life's t...