Everyday Legends

There is an increasingly common theme with some men who reach out to me and that I work with. Not all, but the numbers are steady. And that is men who have either divorced or separated from their children's mother and now living in a whole new set of experiences. Not only is there the man wanting to heal old relationships and potentially the wounds and mechanisms that played out in that relationsh...

There are many things men are often terrified of being and/or terrified of being seen as. Being or being seen as - sometimes the reality doesn't seem as daunting as other people thinking the reality is true. Being wrong, incapable, weak are a few of the big ones that I've mentioned on this podcast before. And then there is another, one that carries with it so much social stigma it really only gets...

An often asked question and butchered answer based on a set of beliefs we grow up with or learn along the way - this question is one I've been asked and seen play out in tremendously ignorant, immature and just plain stupid ways. All of which understandable. Can men and women actually be friends without messing it up with sex and attraction? Well, I address it in today's punchy solo episode taken...

  I often get asked the question "How did you get into this work with men?" - with a commonly preconceived idea that it was some kind of obvious rock-bottom or really traumatic event that led to me turning my life around and then getting into the work to help men in the same situation. While that might be a sexy story, it's not the case. What is true is that my story like everyone's, hold crucial...

In my work, I get asked many questions about men, what it means to be a man, about understanding men, and about supporting men. One that pops up now and again is something like this: "Have you ever thought about working with young men and doing this work in schools? Man, it would be so powerful!" I agree. It would be.  But I've always said and still stick by the point that I work with grown-ass me...

We have many narratives that we see, hear, experience, and take on board as boys, adolescents and now as men. They range from innocent, to important, to powerful and positive, to powerful and outrageously negative. We have narratives and messages we receive about being respectful of others, about treating others how you want to be treated, about elbows on the table, about talking with your mouthfu...

The realm of personal development has a few different worlds in it. One of those is the idea of just being better ' #liveyourbestlife - which tends to focus on just following your dreams and passions and being positive all the time. Unfortunately, for many of us, this sets unrealistically high expectations and ultimately encourages by-passing of shit we actually need to learn, sit in, process, and...

Getting out of $500,000 debt & turning your life around I've been working with men for a long time now. Specifically in the realm of helping them mentally and emotionally to get their shit together for 9 years. Before that in the physical sense - but always essentially mental and emotional sense - for 8 years. That's 17 years and counting in working with men to understand and overcome their shit....

I have worked with many men over the last decade. I have worked intimately with many and spoken with, answered questions, supported and given requested advice to many more. There are themes that arise and remain across numbers like this - certainly in the ones that seek me out (or have the courage to do so, at least). One of those themes is a desire to get more from life - knowing there is more av...

There's this saying " If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room" . While that might be tentatively attributed to Confucius originally (from this author's Google search) and many people thereafter, I like it but wouldn't say I take it as gospel. Cognitive Intelligence is one thing, emotional is another. I suspect we can always learn something from other people, be it somet...

Human's evolved to be in community with others, to be supported by and be in support of other humans, to build relationships, to problems solve, to hunt and cook and sing and dance and share stories and experiences. We are social creatures. You are a social creature. Yet, when it comes to the stuff that challenges you, the things that hold you back, that keep tripping you up, there is a universal...

It would seem now more than perhaps ever, or certainly in recent history, we as a society, are faced with our shadow; the parts of ourselves, as individuals and a collective, that we have shamed, shunned, and hidden away into a dark corner. When we reject or shame something it goes away into the dark, and we try to convince ourselves that it's not here, not around, simply because we're choosing no...

Here's a common desire in so many men - "I want to be more confident" which, if not obvious, follows the proclamation "I'm just not confident enough" - or words very close to that effect. They're the words of men focused on a story they have around confidence - that they don't have it and they need to find it. But it goes beyond that, it extends into this idea I have that some people have it, they...

Today's episode is a bit different. My guest is Traver Boehm. And also I'm his guest. Traver and I are colleagues and (internet) friends with a deep respect for each other and each other's work. When Traver asked me to appear on his podcast, I responded with 'of course' and then "I'd like to have you on mine too. He initially responded "Of course" to then reflect and suggest " Why don't we simply...

There are a few terms that make their way around the personal development world and become common vernacular. Some become tired and worn, such as 'authenticity' or 'vulnerability'. Then there is men's work in particular, which it's own nuanced cliques and terms. To me, some of it doesn't connect or resonate, while some of it seems tired and inaccessible. Then there are terms which I think every ma...

There is this consistent thing that happens with so many of the men I work with - a journey in understanding and processing their emotions.  For some guys, it's because they've shut off that side of themselves for so long - hearing terms that shame tears, emotions, or any kind of sensitivity will do that. And anything we shame and hide away will atrophy, it will die off. For these guys, it is a wh...

What is it to be & feel successful as a man This topic sits central to basically everything we do. It's the one thing - not, one of many, actually - that we tend to have a 'just part of life' that we don't even question. SUCCESS. But what is it even? To be a successful man? The unspoken cultural agreement in the West looks something like: He earns 'good' money, has a 'good job, has nice things as...

Extreme initiation rites of passage & growth I was first introduced to Tim and his work via his TV show 'Boy to Man' back when it initially aired in Australia 2016. A show in which he travelled to 12 extremely remote locations to spend time with people still living in their traditional ways and partake in a series of coming of age boy to manhood rituals. I remember being captivated by the first ad...

This is a conversation from a few months ago - smack bang in the middle of one of 2020's major global offerings - a look at race. Black Lives Matter exploded with fervour in the US after the police killing of George Floyd. A powder keg was ignited both in the US and in many places across the globe, leading to one giant and multifaceted conversation on race, racism, and how people of colour have be...

Ahhhh, the friendzone. That lonely yet connected, comforting yet terrorising, familiar yet frustrating place. Of course, the friend zone isn't the only place we might end up chasing unrequited love - sometimes it's in a relationship that stutters and two people seem to be misaligned. Either way, finding ourselves in the place of wanting someone and them not wanting us back, or them being unavailab...

How to Build Mental Strength It's November now - and for certain men, certain groups and organisations that means one thing (among many) - MOvember. Which really brings to the conversation the idea of men growing moustaches in support of men's health; more specifically testicular cancer, prostate cancer and suicide in men. Of course, Movember isn't the only charity or organisation dealing with men...

Understanding Women's need for safety I'm very excited about today's guest, a good friend of mine in the first woman on our show. Miss Amber Hawken.  I've been very fortunate to be her friend for some time. And that has been both in just two humans connecting on a level that we get each other, but also because of, you know, where we're at and the work that we do. And that's one of the major reason...

The Art of Authenticity & Overcoming Laziness Dr Jeremy Goldberg is a wonderfully unique and wholly interesting and refreshing human. This episode represented one of many ways a conversation between us could have gone. A self-confessed 'Recovering Scientist" - Jeremy spent years working on not only preventing Climate Change, but how we actually change people's behaviours in order for that to happe...

How to live with Integrity In this episode, I venture into and explore something very close to my heart - and head and balls - and that is: INTEGRITY. It is my highest values, because, for me, everything else is determined by this. If I don't have that, then all my other values don't really get a chance. Join me as I share some personal stories - including the first one in which as a younger man I...

Using your passion to grow a business This conversation with Isaac is one where I want to showcase the Everyday Legend - someone living with authenticity and relentlessly going about living life his way. We cover the life from professional football to what happens next - how that impacts identity and the often unchosen task of role model. This then brings us to look at the position he now sees him...