Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel of Time Podcast

Ah, the infamous eight-page bath. For ch. 12-13 we talk about Brandon Sanderson's Game of Thrones, Bad Genes/Jeans, Hers and Hers Bathtubs, More Sea Folk Racism, and Gender Moments with Robert Jordan. Transcript

In this short episode, we devote about eight minutes to ch. 10-11 (they're boring) and the other twenty to RJ's Plot Gymnastics, Gojo Trigger Warning, a Forgotten D.A.R.E. Song, and how Ed is a Time-Traveling Warlock. Transcript

Head's up: Chapter 9 deals with a lot of troubling content, including sexual assault, consent in captivity, and even racism, and that's pretty much all we talk about in this episode. Skip it as needed for your mental well-being. Transcript

Just brace yourself, because our discussion of ch. 7-8 is mostly (justified) complaining. We talk about Masuri Winchester, Nice Teacher Supremacy, how Naruto Did It Better, and how Grady and Neald Should Unionize. Transcript

What else would we talk about for 30 minutes while covering ch. 5-6 than whether Aram is in love with Perrin? (Probably not.) Other topics include: Hospital Swag Bag, Literary Cage Match, and Roy Mustang: A Feminist?? Transcript

This episode is about ten minutes of ch. 3-4 coverage and 30 minutes of tangents, including: Stupid Men Sexy, Tybalt's Barf Bag Fiasco, Naming Appliances, and How Not to Fall for Copaganda. Enjoy.

In ch. 1-2, we're on a downhill slope into RJ's pro-Seanchan agenda. More cheerful discussion topics include: Boyz in the Tentz, Valan Luca's Disguise Chest, Forgotten Subplots, Thom the Monarch Serial Killer, and Noal's Fishcapades. Transcript

While covering the rest of the prologue, how many times do you think we say "What's frustrating about Gawyn is ..."? (Hint: It's a lot.) We also discuss Gawyn's Sexual Mind Palace, Flat Earther Gawyn, JFK's Famous Saying About Cults, and Angst de Vivre. Transcript

We're back with book 10, babes! The first half of the prologue is all about Mat's Pilgrim Hat, Covert Art Cocaine, Ituralde Causing the Feminism to Leave Our Bodies, and Mazrim Taim's Very Special Classes for Very Special Boys. Transcript

For the final chapter of Winter's Fart, I mean Heart, we're talking about technicality vs. ambiguity in magic systems, Rand's Trauma Plateau, that Narishma Is a Gun, and Tybalt's Safety Cabinet. Transcript

These last few Far Madding chapters (32-34) are just as confusing as those that came before. Discussion points include: Lews Therin's Cockney Accent, Archetype Prison, Lan Being a Good Husband, Mail Fraud, and Narishma Being Threateningly Hot. Transcript

Episode 200 (ch. 30-31) is pretty standard EHR. We just talk about normal topics, like the Dawn of Branderson, Nerim and Lopin's Enemies to Lovers AU, Human Xanax, Narrative Punishment vs. Authorial Punishment, and Tracking Mat's Character Assassination. Transcript

What's worse than a can of worms? For ch. 28-29, we talk about King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Montages, a Trio of Rogues, how There Must Always Be a Ringmaster, Beslan Is the Only Character in a Musical, and Mat's Knife Days. Transcript

Here are the takeaways from ch. 26-27: Women Can Only Do Three Things. They Were Roommates. RJ is Scavenging Suspense. Elayne Is the Worst Secretary. Birgitte Loves Her Ugly Wife. Transcript

In ch. 24-25, we're still in Far Madding, City of Lost Opportunities. We talk about how Cadsuane is a Sleep Paralysis Demon, the Forsaken Staff Meetings, Rand's Mish Imposs, and the ultimate improvement on Wheely Time: Narishma Just Leaves. Transcript

Ch. 22-23 are the first part of Winter's Heart's most baffling sequence. We talk about Crooked Vaginas, Rand's Agatha Christie Murder Trail, Hot Topic Chic, and how the Far Madding plot failed to execute on any of its potential. Transcript

In our coverage of ch. 19-21, we talk about the Cons of Limited Omniscient Narrations, the Pioneer Woman's Crimes Against Humanity, whether evoking genocide imagery works in WoT, and we ask: Where Are All the Good Jolines? Transcript

For ch. 17-18 of Winter's Heart, we talk about 2 Horse 2 Furious, Humiliation and Gaslighting, New York Times Bestselling Author Jain Farstrider, and Hades Kidnapping Hades. There's a lot going on! Transcript

Thank God for Mat point of views! Sure, he's in Seanchan-occupied Ebou Dar, but we'll take what we can get. For ch. 15-16 of Winterception's Heart, we talk about Riddles and Hungry Tricksters, Valan Luca Being a Sitcom Dad, and Mat Being a Horse Girl. Transcript

For the very problematic chapters 13-14, we talk about Communist Leanings, Cadsuane's JurisDICKtion, being Stuck in the Pushing Children Out of Windows Stage of Development. Plus, of course, Moridin's rat. Transcript

Talking about these chapters required something ... special. Luckily Bobert was willing to help us out. Discussion points include: Alligators Climbing Fences, a Million Billion Pieces, the Bible as a Marriage Guide, and Freud Being a Huge Feminist. Transcript

No, this one's not related to Gary Paulsen's seminal work, "Hatchet." For ch. 9-10, we discuss how lots of people have French dads, Elayne's dieting fixation, and everyone's least favorite character, who should've just stayed locked in Robert Jordan's brain. Transcript

This episode is long, but only because we have to talk about Path of Daggers. :( For ch. 7-8, we discuss Deprogramming the Seanchan, the Princess in Disguise Trope, Balwer and Norry (the Ultimate Power Couple), and Lan's Borat Voice. Transcript

For ch. 5-6, we're talking about Fast and Furious: Hopper Drift, Untrustworthy Women, the World's Longest Misogyny Manifesto, the Shaido Blob, and the Three Genders (women, children, blacksmiths). Transcript

Ch. 3-4 of Winter's Heart are a mixed bag. On the one hand, Faile is doing her best. On the other hand, we have a Reverse Taken Situation, Sevanna Being a Material Girl, a Graendal Lite, if you will, and a whole lot of Genre Confusion. Transcript