Equal-ish

Explore the science of modern parenthood, attachment, and partnership during our reflections from our interview with evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin. Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is world renowned for her work into the science and anthropology of human love and fatherhood.  She is the author of the Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Fat...

In this episode, evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin challenges everything you thought you knew about fatherhood. From hormone shifts and brain changes to the unique ways dads build attachment, Anna unpacks why fathers are wired to be caretakers, not just breadwinners, and how their involvement shapes resilience, social skills, and mental health in children. Kate and Rachel dive into: The e...

In the final episode of the season (and year!), Kate and Rachel unpack three themes that surfaced in their conversation with Alex Trippier and reflect on what the past year of Equalish has taught us about navigating parenthood and partnership. The discussion explores why parenting demands a process-driven mindset, why being a strong parent doesn’t automatically make someone a strong partner, and h...

Discovering concepts like mental load, matrescence, and motherhood ideals really can fundamentally reframe your understanding of parenting as a partnership. In today’s conversation, Rachel, Kate talk to Alex Trippier, host of the Be a Happier Parent podcast about his fatherhood journey, the strain young children put on his relationship, and the turning point—from believing he was an “involved dad”...

Kate and Rachel dig into the interview with psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts, turning a rather theoretical interview into practical actions. Why should we expect to change? How can we change together? How can we have these hard conversations with each other without playing the blame game and getting defensive? You are both going to change.  It’s not “you vs them.” Think of it as “us vs the p...

Today Kate and Rachel talk to psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts to explore the distinctions and intersections between couples therapy, coaching and facilitation - and when to reach out for extra support.   (Spoiler alert - we all need it. And the practitioner you find is as important as the process you choose).  If you like Sarah, you can find her services here .  Subscribe to Equal-ish on Ap...

Using father’s mental health as a starting point, Dr Fisher emphasized that it is really the “family system” that requires our attention. Kate & Rachel love this, and devote today’s coaching edit to go deeper into what family system caretaking looks like.  He might not be fine, even if he says he is fine.  Everyone can, and does, experience trauma. Fertility issues and difficult births affect...

Pregnancy and birth should be all about mom, right? Well - no, not really. In this episode Kate and Rachel talk to Dr. Sheehan Fisher from Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. Dr Fisher is a paternal mental health specialist - and agrees that mom’s health needs to be at the core of the conversation. But it’s good for ALL of us when we ALSO take into account dad’s health needs.  D...

We’re told the UK has paternity leave, but the reality for families says otherwise. Kate and Rachel reflect on what George Gabriel, co-founder of the Dad Shift, shared about how outdated systems, mixed messages and cultural norms are holding dads back, and what that means for the emotional and practical load inside relationships. This is the truth behind paternity leave, and why change matters for...

Women are socialised throughout their lives to be a mother. Meanwhile most dads won’t hold a baby until it’s their own. 90% of dads want to be more involved in their children's lives but we’re still prioritising a mother’s relationship with their children over a dad’s. Insufficient paternity leave is having serious consequences for families, men’s mental health and our ability to feel like equal p...

Kate & Rachel wallow in all the nuances around gate keeping… including personal reflection that we do it too! Many women have been socialized to believe that to be valuable, they must maintain power and knowledge of the home. But this isn’t a great receipt for equal-ish households. Instead, Kate & Rachel suggest….  There’s no pretty way to say this: gatekeepers need to do some self-reflect...

If the outcome you are seeking is equal partnership, why do mothers subconsciously put barriers up to it? Today Kate and Rachel talk “all things maternal gatekeeping” with Dr. Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, who is a Professor of Psychology at The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio. She is a nationally and internationally recognized expert on coparenting, father-child relationships, and the transitio...

Kate and Rachel dive into the Dr Allison Daminger interview to discuss how you can really share the cognitive labor. Listen now to hear our tips on how to Define balance for yourself Why parental leave and new norms matter How to change your family script Connect on the thinking and doing tasks Challenge the barriers we all face Want more language on the difference between cognitive labor, emotion...

The household divide is greater than we think it is. It’s so much more than the physical tasks - it’s all the thinking and feeling work that goes along with the physical work. And that is why we feel it so deeply; we have an emotional reaction to household labor because household tasks are far more than cooking and cleaning. Kate and Rachel are joined this week by Dr. Allison Daminger, an assistan...

In this coaching edit, Kate and Rachel break down key themes from their interview with Marvyn.  Marvyn Harrison is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity.  The work starts with you… and continues with others  We need to acknowledge that s...

Rachel and Kate are joined by Marvyn Harrison. Marvyn is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity. In today’s interview, Marvyn helps us all see the way that society closes gates for fathers… and what we can all do to change that.  Discover...

Last week, we interviewed Zach Watson. Zach is an invisible labour coach who helps men understand and share the mental load of domestic responsibilities with their partners. And his interview gave us great fodder for this week’s coaching edit.   Give yourself permission to fail.  What words would you actually use with your spouse / partner?  What to include in the weekly check-in.  Why are men mot...

Are men choosing to ignore the mental load because they subconsciously still believe it is women’s work? Rachel and Kate try to answer that question with this week’s guest, Zach Watson.  Zach is a former middle school math teacher turned viral content creator and invisible labor coach for modern dads. Zach’s marriage nearly ended in 2018 because he was in default mode and letting his wife do it al...

In this first Equal-ish coaching edit, we unpack our interview with Molly Millwood. We reflect on why today’s parents, especially mothers, are more stretched than ever, with full-time working mums spending more hours parenting now than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s. We explore how social norms around “good mothers” and “good fathers” create impossible standards, and why reframing the quest...

In this conversation with psychologist and author of To Have and To Hold, Molly Millwood, we explore how reciprocity in relationships can feel so hard to achieve. We unpack with Molly the subtle ways women are socialized to give away power, why women’s “free time” so often includes caregiving, and how unequal dynamics impact both mothers and fathers. Together we reflect the hidden costs for men wh...

In the inaugural episode of the Equalish podcast, meet hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs as we introduce our mission to help couples achieve a balanced household while navigating parenting and work. In this episode, we explore The imbalance in household responsibilities between parents. How mothers are pushed into full-time work and household management roles. Why dads often feel isolated and a...