EQ Gangster

These are some of the lessons & insights I gleaned from my recent interview with West Point Special Forces Officer & Author of Deliberate Discomfort, Jason Van Camp. Here were some of the questions I asked him:  What was the toughest thing emotionally about West Point for you?  How did you grow as a leader from West Point to your conventional Army time?  What did you learn about yourself as a lead...

Here are 4 principles that I shared with a client that is going through a deep valley. GPCT 1.) Grace 2.) Patience 3.) Curiosity  4.) Trust Give yourself & others grace in the valley. Be patient w/yourself & others especially while in a valley. Be curious about your valley. What can you learn while in your valley? What are you supposed to learn in your valley?  Trust the refining & sharpening proc...

Kathy had an award-winning celebrity reach out to her on Instagram that was really struggling with a situation on the TV show she was a part of at the time.  Kathy & I were able to provide some encouragement & insights to her when she was really struggling.  It was a blessing that both Kathy & I are actively & daily working on ourselves so that we could really provide some relevant & timely though...

A very interesting conversation with a Top 1% Global Consultant of Fortune 50 companies. It was around some debilitating anxiety that she was experiencing.  Debilitating anxiety is a very real thing. There can be many different things to consider if you or someone you know is experiencing some like this. Pursue all avenues. I encourage you to validate & affirm their emotions even if you don't agre...

This is a story about me meeting a super dude at a gas station while on a road trip. He's a military veteran turned chef and then social worker. He really is wanting to step out & eventually pursue motivational speaking. We had a great conversation & he asked me some advice on what my process is for the speaking engagements that I do.  While I gave him some ideas on how he can develop his craft of...

Fascinating observation for me watching my teen daughter interact with two of her close homies on 2 different days this week. She spent 1 day w/one of her homies & the next day she spent w/her other homie.  Our daughter acted a little differently w/each of her friends. I hadn't really noticed some of those nuances before.    It made me think if or how I act w/the different people that I spend time...

It's amazing how calm & confident one can be while rolling with any size, speed or strength opponent when you have been rolling & drilling BJJ consistently for 10+ years.    That's how Professor Chad is w/all of his students. Some of us are bigger & stronger than he is, but none of us are as skilled as he is. He is calm, cool & collected w/all of his students b/c he has learned & evolved over his...

Two stories of control freaks & some corresponding lessons: 1 story of a control freak is from my business cult days & the 2nd story of a control freak is very current - fortunately I'm not on the direct receiving end of the 2nd control freak. I do have a front row seat to the damage & toxicity of his hyper control over his adult children & business partners.    What is your relationship w/control...

This is a fascinating story of helping a 5 y/o little girl get emotionally unstuck while attending her first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) class.    It was amazing how quickly she transformed once I was able to get her emotionally unstuck.    What happened to her happens to adults frequently.    How good are we at:  Getting ourselves unstuck Getting our family unstuck Getting our friends unstuck Getti...

  This episode is about one of my recent failures.    I felt like I absolutely bombed Day 3 of the Boundaries Workshop that I just completed.    I got hit with a bunch of emotions literally about my lack of Boundaries for most of my life & I was unable to compartmentalize them until after the Boundaries workshop.    I brought those heavy intense emotions with me into the facilitation of the worksh...

EQG Ep 352 3 Important Questions Discussed With A 16 Yr Old Young Man   These 3 questions stemmed from a conversation with a 15 y/o teen from our church while serving on a missions trip in the Dominican Republic last year. We finally talked about them a year later.    Here they are:    How do you want your life to turn out?  What does an emotionally healthy, strong man look like?  What does a good...

Wow, how present & in the moment am I?    This is definitely another area I'm sucking in.    After some reflection, I've realized how much of my thinking is either how I'm failing or how far away I am from my life goals or how much I'm not doing or not accomplishing. All that time is taking away from me being in the moment & achieving now, accomplishing now.    It's hard to think about what needs...

I got hit with some heavy emotions on the way to get my car serviced. Heavy emotions like feeling behind, incompetent, insecurity, clueless, ineffective. I thought I'd be so much further along in my faith, family, parenting, finances, fitness, business, etc.    It was encouraging to remember that I work w/high achievers & high performers who also have the exact same feelings.    Are there some of...

I got tapped 3 times today by a blue belt & it was awesome! More on that later.   There were 4 purple belts, 3 blue belts and 2 white belts in my 6am BJJ class. So there was quite a bit of experience in the class. We trained guillotine chokes which is like a front headlock. They're very unpleasant & uncomfortable.   How well are we able to differentiate between discomfort and passing out or tappin...

Why does it seem like so many leaders have to increase & work on their EQ aspect of self-regard?    How do you grow your own self-regard and/or those around you that are struggling with self-regard?    There are 6 exercises I like to do w/executives & leaders to help them grow their self-regard:  Origin story Victory List / "David Journal" Strengths, traits, talents & qualities Challenges Trends I...

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change."    This is a story about a friend who recently got promoted to a senior level position that is more people focused. His whole career he has been in a technical role. He has been very uncomfortable with this transition from a technical to more people-centered role.    He reached out to get some tools & growth in thi...

Roxanne is the executive vice president and president of ACCO Brands North America, a $1Bn segment of ACCO Brands. She has responsibility for 2,000 employees located in 10 offices and 5 manufacturing facilities across the US, Canada, and throughout Asia.    She attended the United States Military Academy at West Point, New York, where she earned a bachelor's degree in Engineering and secured 7 aca...

This is a follow-up of feeling like I completely bombed Day 3 of my recent free Boundaries Workshop.    The quick recap of that experience was I got hit w/a bunch of unpleasant emotions just before starting the presentation. I can normally compartmentalize my various emotional "spikes" but this time I wasn't able to.   Kari, who is an EQ Mafia member & attended the Boundaries workshop, shared that...

Bob McCoole is the Founder & Principal at McCoole, LLC - A Consulting Firm. Bob was the CEO of an $800 Million Construction company for 10 years. Then he was the Senior VP for a multibillion dollar healthcare company & for the past 25 years he has served as a board member and advisor for Senior Executives of a multibillion dollar international company.   Bob shares many insights about his take on...

This episode is about another fellow Purple Belt who oddly enough has claustrophobia.    He asked me to roll two times in a row for 5 - 6 min each roll just so he could practice getting smashed by me. My BJJ game is adding a lot of pressure to people when I'm in a dominant position. It's very uncomfortable. He literally asked for it. He knew what he was getting into.    What can you learn about pu...

This episode comes from a great conversation I had with a fellow BJJ Purple Belt and and Active Duty Air Force Senior Enlisted Leader.     He has an amazing mindset & shared some really impactful points w/me after our rolls on the mat.     The reason he shared BJJ was he was getting complacent from doing so well in the military, he wanted to another challenge. He wanted to fail again.     The 2nd...

You do NOT want to miss this episode. Csaba ("Chahbah") shares some amazing insights about leadership, personal development, failure, tension, conflict, DEI & political correctness.    Csaba is a British/Hungarian entrepreneur, author, speaker and executive coach based in the UK. He is the founder of ICQ Global, a people development organization with over 200 licensed partners in 45 countries.   C...

One of the biggest insights I've gleaned from the hundreds of leaders I've coached over the past 20 years exhibit behaviors as an adult as a direct result of their childhood.   So the question is not "Is my childhood affecting me?"    The questions are:  1.) How is my childhood affecting me?  2.) To what extent is my childhood affecting me?    One of the leaders I'm coaching right now is 20+ years...

I was able to breathe through my nose through every single BJJ roll tonight except for 1 roll.    The "White Belt Spazz" syndrome on the BJJ mats leads them to almost hyperventilate. The more intensely they breathe & the more out of control their breathing, the less clearly they think & the closer they get to completely losing cognitive control. This inevitably leads them to a full-blown panic res...

If you're ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/ .