EnterpriseSplaining

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 3 “Minefield,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Hey everyone it’s a Malcolm-focused episode which means the writers are shaking the Etch-A-Sketch and giving us another new take on the character. It all starts with an awkward breakfast and then HOLY CRAP things are blowing up. Can Malcolm and Archer navigate both a physical minef...

Surprise! We are changing our format around a little for season 2 and now, you’re going to see us in your feed weekly! Instead of reviewing the previous episode and going into the next one all in one episode, we are undertaking new Second Contact missions! Every other week, we’ll look at the episode we watched the week before, after everyone has watched it so you can get all our thoughts about thi...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 2 “Carbon Creek,” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. T’Pol tells Trip and Archer that they might not have their historical facts straight. This episode is widely considered one of the best Enterprise episodes, and we think we might agree. Does it have to do with the fact that none of the lead characters from Enterprise play any p...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2, Episode 1 “Shockwave Part II,” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Suliban have taken over the Enterprise, Captain Archer is stuck in the future, and Starfleet is considering canceling the entire deep space program. The only way to save it is for Archer to give a rousing speech over a Teams call about that time he saw a gazelle give b...

We have reached the end of Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1! Jamie, Bill, and Maria are joined by Sue from the Women at Warp podcast to take a step back and talk about what it’s been like gettin’ from there to here. Who do we like? Who do we hate? What is this show even about? Why are we still watching it? How did we get through a full season? At what point will they replace Malcolm with Porthos and...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 26 “Shockwave Part 1,” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Fam, it’s been a long road, but we’ve finally made it to the season one finale! Things go from bad to worse as the Enterprise crew accidentally commits genocide before a time wizard shows up to solve all their problems and are they even grateful? Hahahahahahahaha… no. It al...

SPECIAL GUEST: Jarrah from the Women at Warp podcast We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 25 “Two Days and Two Nights,” but only guest-explainer Jarrah has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise crew finally makes it to Risa, where heteronormativity abounds. It’s two days and two nights of scams, injuries, sexy language lessons, and some incredibly wild outfits and wigs. Ph...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 24: “Desert Crossing” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise responds to a distress call and the captain they rescue is so grateful, he invites Archer and Trip down to his sunny home planet for a visit. Looking forward to a boondoggle, the boys head to the planet where they drink some wine and enjoy some slow-motion sp...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 23: “Fallen Hero” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise gets to go on its very first ambassador escort mission! All they have to do is pick up an important Vulcan ambassador and then drop her off at a ship that’s a mere two days away. Easy peasy. Even this Enterprise crew can’t mess up a task that simple, right? ...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 22: “Vox Sola” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Plus, we have special guest K.O. Myers from Particulate Media joining us this episode. The Enterprise has been penetrated by a very slimy tentacled creature who has captured Archer, Trip, a random ensign, and Angelica Schuyler in its sticky slime. The slime creature will slowly dev...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 21: “Detained” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. Archer and Mayweather blunder into a military zone and get thrown into an internment camp filled with Suliban. This is definitely not a knee-jerk reaction to 9/11 and certainly a nuanced and thoughtful take on a complex situation. Oh wait, no - it’s the opposite of that. But it br...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 20: “Oasis” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The crew comes across survivors of a ship crash and Trip flirts with a cute girl, but they have secrets and blah, blah, blah. Who are we kidding? We’re all just here to see René Aubernjonois act the shit out of his guest role on this episode. Rikermendations Maria: Wolfs (Apple TV Mo...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 19: “Acquisition” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Ferengi pirates somehow manage to incapacitate every member of the Enterprise aside from a half-naked Trip, who is now tasked with saving the rest of the crew. The bad news is that the Ferengi are peak TNG-era annoying. The good news is that we will never have to see them again...

A quick check in from the EnterpriseSplaining crew to give you some exciting news! We are joining the ESO Network, a collection of geeky podcasts from across the internet. Everything you love about EnterpriseSplaining will remain the same, but we’ll be adding some special ESO intro and outros to each episode and will be taking a short break each episode to tell you about some of our sister podcast...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 18: “Rogue Planet” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise crew meets a group of alien hunters on a rogue planet and Archer falls in love with a slug lady.  Thank you to Phil Plait for sending us some science on rogue planets. You can sign up for his Bad Astronomy newsletter and follow him on BlueSky @philplait &nb...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 17: “Fusion” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise crew meets some Vulcans that are happy to see them, which in and of itself should have been a big red flag. T’Pol warns everyone that these Vulcans are dangerous, but as usual no one listens to her until it’s too late. Plus, Trip makes a new B-plot friend!  Riker...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 16: “Shuttle Pod One” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Plus, we have a special guest Andi from the Women at Warp podcast, getting her first-ever dose of Enterprise. Malcolm and Trip are stuck together in a cold shuttle pod with no way to get help, and because they are straight men, they will die of hypothermia before they cuddle...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 15: “Shadows of P’Jem” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. The Vulcans are looking for a fall guy for that time the Enterprise crew destroyed all their religious artifacts back in “The Andorian Incident.” Plus, our favorite Andorian is back and we get to meet an alien who wears pink pleather hammer pants. These are the space audio...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 14: “Sleeping Dogs” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. The Enterprise investigates a gas giant, Archer pouts because the Klingons don’t like him, Malcolm has a cold, and Hoshi and T’Pol are weirdly catty to each other but then share A Moment. Also, Seelix is back to talk about her thoughts on the last episode, “Dear Doctor.” Foll...

It’s been a looooong road, but we’ve somehow made it though half of the first season of Star Trek: Enterprise. I know. We are as surprised as you! For this episode, we are all taking a much needed respite from the show and taking stock of our feelings so far. We also have a special guest joining us, Charles from the Earth Station Trek podcast, who actually knows some things about Star Trek. Yes, t...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 13: “Dear Doctor” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Plus, we have a special guest, Seelix, join us to tell us if the science in the episode is accurate (spoiler: that is not how evolution works!). Phlox and Archer wrestle with some gnarly ethical issues which could have been solved if only they had a clear doctrine. Perhaps some...

We’re watching Star Trek: Enterprise Season 1, Episode 12: “Silent Enemy” but only Maria has actually watched the episode. Hoshi stalks Malcolm, proving he is the most boring person who has ever existed and some mysterious aliens do a bunch of mysterious things for reasons that are never explained. Join us as Maria attempts to explain the episode to Bill and Jamie. Rikermendations: Bill: Star Trek...

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 11: “Cold Front” but only Jamie has actually watched the episode. We meet a time traveler who makes very good eggs and something, something temporal cold war. Join us as Jamie attempts to explain the episode to Bill and Maria. Rikermendations: Bill: the Highlander movies Maria: the Back to the Future movies Jamie: Shirley Jackson’s books The Haunting of...

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 10: “Fortunate Son” but only Bill has actually watched the episode. Travis makes a boomer friend and then has a falling out with said boomer friend. And, despite being an episode all about boomers, we still somehow don’t learn what “boomer” actually means. Join us as Bill attempts to explain the episode to Maria and Jamie. Rikermendations Bill: The Wee F...

We’re watching Enterprise Season 1, Episode 9: “Civilization” but only Maria has actually watched the episode! The Enterprise crew get up to shenanigans on a pre-contact planet and demonstrate why someone needs to invent the prime directive stat! Join us as Maria attempts to explain the episode to Jamie and Bill. Rikermendations Bill: the movie 2010 The Year We Make Contact Maria: the movie Flamin...