Enjoying Your Blended Family

Lately, we have had lots of people join our B. Fam community who are walking through the same storm we went through. Each of our kids went to live with their other parents when they became teens against our better judgment.  This was a heartbreaking and devastating season for our family. As hard as it was though, it taught us all a lot about ourselves and our family.  In this episode, I share my s...

214: How to Avoid Holiday Burnout in Your Stepfamily Does anyone else love Christmas as much as we do? I get sad every year when it comes and goes because I don't feel like I truly enjoyed it due to all the running around and stress that also showed up uninvited. I teamed up with Ginger from The Family Core and Brittney from Blending Bravely to talk about ways to set up healthy boundaries around t...

This is a repost of one of my favorite Christmas traditions. Is looking at Christmas lights a tradition for your family every year? If it's not then it could be a really fun way to hang out with your family. If it is your thing already, we also share some cool ways you can add to the fun and make it an adventure. A few ways we share in this episode: Solo adventures with certain family members As a...

212: Thinking About Raising a Stepfamily in Two Different States | Joslynn Flowers of Daily Stepmom All stepfamilies have their unique things that make up their family dynamics and add to the ease or difficulty of the blend. In this episode, our friend Joslynn from The Daily Stepmom shares her desire to raise her kids in an environment different than California. Then after receiving the blessing f...

211: Hey Stepmom, They're Not Your Kids with guest Nacho Kid's Lori and David    Are you fed up with your stepkids or with people telling you they're not your kids, yet you are doing all the mom things for them. This episode is for you. We talk with Lori and David from Nacho Kids Academy about the right and wrong way to disengage and engage with your stepfamily. This episode is so good!    Nacho B...

If you have ever been on the receiving end of parental alienation, you know what I mean when I say it's a nightmare. In this episode, Lisa Goodpaster shares her story of being a child of parental alienation. You can find her whole story in her book, Alienated When Parents Won't Parent . Today we discuss the damage it does to the child, early signs to look for, and what to do if it happens to you. ...

This episode deals with a bad habit many of us have been guilty of ourselves or have been on the receiving end of. Stalking the ex or their significant other is not beneficial to us, but we do it anyway. There are many different reasons why people stalk their ex online, and in this episode, I discuss those reasons with Toni and Lauren from Raising His Kids Podcast.  Follow Toni at My Blended Chaos...

As we wrap up this book study, our prayer is that you have found hope for your blended family. Every chapter has been filled with information that has the potential to change the future of your blended family if you are willing to utilize it.  Today's chapter points you to the one that can truly bring healing and lasting change to your family and that is Jesus.  Join Heidi, Ginger, and myself as w...

I can't speak for everyone, but I would say the majority of people who have experienced divorce do not want to spend their time or money in court. Although we understand there are occasions when it is necessary.  Most of the time, fear or pride, back us into a corner and we feel like court is the only way out.  In this episode, I talk with the co-author of Blended and Redeemed Vanessa Martindale a...

Have you ever wondered what kind of effects your divorce will have on your children or even grandchildren? Check out this week's episode as I discuss with Ryleigh Tandy (my 24-year-old Stepdaughter) about the men she has watched walk out of her life and how that created her perspective on marriage now. She even sings us her new song "Wait" which is all about this topic. The album will be released...

205: Pitfalls of Child Manipulation and Parent Alienation (Chapter 8: Blended and Redeemed) This episode had me (Scarlett) reflecting and asking my grown kids questions about their upbringing. In chapter 8 of Blended and Redeemed, Scott and Vanessa share very practical tips to help your kids feel like they are "home" with both parents. We discuss those in this episode. Then we dive into the pitfal...

One of the biggest complaints in a stepfamily is (co)parenting. Whether it be trying to parent with your new spouse and that automatic protective mode we find ourselves in when it comes to someone telling our child what to do. Or the frustration of trying to parent with someone you once loved, but now can't seem to agree on anything.  We end the episode discussing child-support.  So join us as we...

This week talk about our favorite stepfamily topic and that is putting FUN in dysfunction! Whether you choose to be intentional in creating a relationship with your stepchildren or not, you ARE creating a relationship. What you do from the very beginning lets your stepchild know you care and want them in your life.  Even if your stepchild pushes you away, deep down they want to know they are part...

After your divorce, have you ever said to someone else or to yourself?  I will never allow this to happen to me again. I will never allow anything bad to happen to my children.  I will never allow anyone close to me again. I will never forgive him/her for breaking up our family.   These are inner vows we make to protect ourselves, but in doing so we are trying to control the details of our lives i...

You've probably heard us or someone at some point say to make God the center of your marriage, but what does that even mean? In this episode, Randall and I go over 6 steps for a marriage reflecting God found in the Blended and Redeemed Book we have been reading.    We are currently using Blended Kingdom Families Book Blended and Redeemed as our online book club with our B.Fam.    If you want a cha...

This week I talked with Ginger from The Family Core over chapters 1 & 2 of the Blended and Redeemed book by Scott and Vanessa from Blended Kingdom Family. We created a virtual book club so you can join us in discussing these very important stepfamily topics.    This week we discussed what it's like going through the fire in your stepfamily and how God uses those things to refine each of us. We als...

This week I talked with Ginger from The Family Core over chapters 1 & 2 of the Blended and Redeemed book by Scott and Vanessa from Blended Kingdom Family. We created a virtual book club so you can join us in discussing these very important stepfamily topics.  This week we discussed what it's like going through the fire in your stepfamily and how God uses those things to refine each of us. We also...

We love our kids and want to give them all the best opportunities possible, and we should. We believe extracurricular activities teach our kids many life lessons and give them a sense of belonging, which we know is something our stepfamilies need. But there are some things we need to keep in mind to show our kids we love, support, and prioritize them. In today's episode, we talk about 3 things to...

There are 2 sides to running a family. The actual chores/task that need to be done and the mental load of thinking about all the things that need to be done. This typically falls on one person intentionally or unintentionally. Your family comes together and falls into a natural rhythm and there are many tasks you are 100% ok with taking on the sole responsibility for and there are other areas you...

A major contributing factor in my divorce was due to being a military family. We were young and dumb when we got married and within months 9/11 happened and we were faced with a life altering future like many others. 4 years later, 2 kids, multiple moves and a deployment leaving my ex husband with PTSD and myself with anxiety, we lacked the support and resources of navigating civilian life.  That...

If you have been divorced, you have the gift of understanding how precious marriage is. You know how a relationship can go from good to bad and what factors contribute to that. You know the pain of that fall out for everyone involved.  On our 2nd anniversary a divorced woman gave us this advice…"Never stop doing this, keep making it a priority to date each other and going on getaways like this." S...

Blending a stepfamily is hard enough, but if you have a chronic illness it makes it that much more difficult.  What would you do if you went from living your busy active mom life to being stripped of the ability to do everyday tasks like eating or leaving your house? For many of us, it's unimaginable, but that is what happened to Holly from Well Blended Life. Today she shares her story and resourc...

What are you scared of? Our fears can be silly things, irrational or justifiable. But the truth is regardless of the reason we're scared, it can play a huge impact on how we enjoy our life, parent, and even chase after what we want. This episode is all about doing things that scare you. When you push past the fear, you discover a sense of power and courage you didn't know you had. You also get to...

This episode is all about how to live with your DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY. Don't be ashamed, we all have them, heck sometimes we are them! I talked with christian marriage counselor Jamie Bailey about recognizing the dysfunction in yourself or other family members and how to move forward in a positive, healthy way. You are not your past, you can break cycles and that is why we talk openly about importa...

Have you tried to connect with your preteen and teen and get 1 or 2-word phrases back like "I'm fine", "It's cool" or "Good" when you ask them about their life? I know this frustrated me. I knew my kids needed a safe place to discuss life, but I wasn't it! When I heard Holly from Well Blended Life talk about parenting after dark, I thought that was genius!!! I wanted to be able to turn back time t...