Emsolation

Right, before we get around the dodgy exes, we are gonna need to revisit life as a HUGE Toilet Dolly for ‘The Masked Singer’, which is where we find Em in the introduction for this episode. If you’re wondering if Em is keen on starting a Toilet Dolly collection we can confirm, she’s totes about it, so maybe get your knit/crochet on if that sort of thing rocks your hobby boat and you’re feeling gif...

Title says it all really. We’re not going to waste your time by teasing you or going into lengthy explains, but it’s safe to say, if you’ve been hearing a certain voice singing away on TV promos, or whilst watching an actual TV show filled with over sized masked singers, then you probably know what THIS episode is all about. Inside Em and Michael will chat about all the rumours and forensically de...

How’s that for a podcast title, we can only hope it’s rolling past your eyes on repeat via the display of your digital radio or Spotify app. We are not sorry, we are actually warning you that this episode has a lot of dick built into its contents. We’ll explain more after Em sorts the introduction, which is where she spontaneously created that title (I did take note of it Em, and obviously totes l...

EARTHQUAKE! I mean clearly we gotta start with the earth shaking across Victoria on the morning of us recording this episode (is anyone else singing Martika’s ‘I Feel the Earth Move’ in their heads when earthquake chat comes up? Nope just me. Well I can only hope you do now). As Em will admit, it’s actually nice to think about something besides everything else that’s going on right now. She also t...

Are we all ready for a moment of gratitude? Em certainly is, she’s found her moment and she’s not afraid to wallow in it. Doing this podcast is giving her actual life and she will immerse herself up to the neck in that moment of gratitude, regardless of how twee or gross it might sound. This week has delivered us a pop culture bonanza so none of what you’re about to hear will challenge you in any...

Is this real life? Are we in the Matrix? Am I actually dreaming? What is sleep? Have we asked all of that already? Clearly we is living in some wild and hectic times and none of us want answers to those questions. Although we probs aren’t in the Matrix, so phew for that one at least. Anyway it's a much looser edition of the podcast this week, for a start both Em and Michael weren’t feeling the vis...

Can you stress craft and decorate your way out of a pandemic? We’re not entirely sure...but Em is currently doing ALL of the crafting and decorating research that she can manage, in a lah lah lah, nothing to see here, not watching the news, not even asking “how are you?” kind of vibe, that naturally comes from extended pandemic lockdowns. Thankfully the arrival of Spring and blossom and wattle blo...

We are setting shiz on fire peeps, you know, lockdown and all the other things that have been happening lately, all of it is making us wanna pile up all of the things into a corner and set to it with a flamethrower. Obviously nothing is actually being burnt, we is all about it figuratively of course, and we begin the bin fire rundown with a low key ramble from Em covering off all the clusterfluff...

Are you ready to do some deep breathing? Not the kind you do after some huffy puffy or running to catch your chosen option of public transport...bugger that nonsense. We’re talking about that other kind of nonsense breathing you do, you know, when you’re desperately trying to centre yourself, finding your “moment of zen”, or just trying to keep on smiling and not scream, that kind of breathing. Em...

How good is a pandemic lockdown? Get absolutely farked...is what we wanna say, and clearly we just did, but at least we didn’t capitalise it to make it REALLY STAND OUT huh. Anyway, this episode finds our fabulous leader finally hitting the virtual pandemic wall. So for this recording of Emsolation, you just need to visualise Em barricaded behind her bedroom door, her two year old Elio trying to g...

Pretty sure we should start this description by saying that this house is PACKED! Like we are talking a hoarders level of content, crammed into each and every nook and cranny of the episode. Thankfully as you navigate this podcast, you can rest assured that none of it is concealing a long dead pet (that we know of) or at risk of toppling over onto you as you try and squeeze past it. So to begin Em...

YAAAAY ‘LYMPICS!!! Yes, after being delayed for a year, thanks to a global pandemic, the socially distanced and deeply disinfected 2020 Olympics have finally begun in Tokyo, and to say it’s been a different experience from previous ‘lympics is an understatement, with a no shit Sherlock sprinkled on top. Regardless of the empty stadiums and the rather sombre opening ceremony, our fearless leader Em...

Let’s have a bite from a big fat healthy TRUTH sandwich, we’re ALL TIRED, it’s all shit right now and Em and Michael feel like they can’t expend any more emotional bandwidth on the stuff you probably want them to talk about. So whilst they will touch on things like the Covid-19 situation unfolding around Australia, the latest Free Britney news, and even why the hell the Olympics are still going ah...

The title of this week's episode, ANVIL, will be a word you’ll wanna shout a lot during the start of this podcast, don’t worry, the fact we’ve chosen it as a name for the episode means that your yelling of that word, whilst not being heard in any way, shape or form, will result in it being repeated back to you and also acknowledged by the time we get to the wrapping up of things. In between, well...

Are you ready for an entire episode devoted to adoring Kat Stewart? If your answer is, who the hell is Kat Stewart...then HOW VERY DARE YOU, but also please allow us to educate you on her brilliance. Fun fact, she’s the Emsolation podcasts number one ticket holder, okay so we don’t actually have any tickets, (aside from the ones we have on ourselves, naturally) but what we mean is she’s officially...

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We are all about the giant wang in the Netflix series ‘Sex/Life’ in this episode of Emsolation, but before we usher in the ‘hefty in his pants’ chat, we should probs start this description with some bad news first. The bad news can begin by acknowledging the hateful warlock who clearly must have decided, rather mysteriously, to curse Em many eons ago when it comes to technology (I‘m seeing a creep...

Grow some? We can assure you that our undergrowth is fully grown, in fact we are rocking a full 70’s bush for this edition of Emsolation, it’s totally whipper snipper worthy and ready to deflect any clapbacks from sassy political siblings. Speaking of politics, we’re ushering in a bonanza of political palaver to kick start this episode, starting with the “how the hell is he back” return of Barnaby...

Okay today's episode is A LOT...so you can rest assured that our standard operating procedures are all down pat and we are delivering the glitter soaked goods. We’ve got some problematic stuff to cover off within this episode, so to get things underway, Em and Michael are just gonna dive face first into the latest Bennifer news (or Jenjamin for those that prefer the updated version of their celebr...

In case you missed it earlier in the week, one of New Zealand's favourite musical exports somehow managed to break the internet. Obviously if you are reading this on your phone it means the internet wasn’t actually broken for long, in all truth, it wasn’t broken at all, but we all know how news and gossip sites like to oversell and exaggerate things. So for the unaware, on Monday when singer, song...

Our title might suggest that this podcast is trying to slide into your DM’s for some sexy time, or that this Emsolation episode is just wall to wall “booty call” chat...but there’s only one reference to it. Before that reference makes an appearance though, there’s time for some cake chat (mmmm now I wanna eat cake), then it’s on to lockdown life in Victorian for a 4th time. Aside from the top to t...

After spending last week's episode delving into ye olde STI’s, it would seem our old mate Coronavirus was feeling totes left out, so it’s just gone out and slapped us with its own low key super spreader event in Melbourne, because of course it has. The fact that Em and her band are just days away from FINALLY getting back on the road, clearly means sweet buggery all to the bane of 2020 and beyond...

Stand back everyone, because this episode comes with added ye olde sexually transmitted diseases chat. It would seem that Melbourne is currently experiencing a syphilis outbreak, who knew...apparently a LOT of you did, because you flooded our DM’s demanding we talk about it, hence it’s time to sanitize your ears and dive right in because Em has done a syphilis deep dive (which sounds like a slang...

Okay, first up we should acknowledge the over supply of Jennifers in the title of this episode. Truth be told, there’s definitely NOT a thousand Jennifers in this podcast, sure we mention a few of them, but it’s more like they just pop up when we least expect them, which naturally inspired the title. Before we usher in the first of our Jennifers though, we apparently need to check in on Michaels r...

Ever had a moment where you’re about to do something totes important, like say...another episode of your low key, but also hugely successful podcast, and suddenly it’s all CODE RED, you’re panic struck, wondering, am I destroying my fave pink and subtle grey leopard print jeans right now, whilst you casually spit out a rogue Japanese flag reference? Exactly, well maybe not exactly that, but, same...