Emancipate Your Mind

Living a financially free life has less to do with income and more to do with intention. Often when we come from a high demand religion, we are conditioned to believe that money is the root of all evil. We may shy away from making too much of it, or having any left over in savings.   We may also pick up shame or fear messages about what it means to be a working mother. We can also pick u...

Today we’re talking about something different and a little woo-woo but that has also been so effective in helping many of my clients and me heal from wounds created in our childhood. All of us have some trauma in our past. Sometimes we experience big T trauma: things we usually think of as traumatic, neglect or abuse on a grand scale, PTSD, or other such recognized events. But all of us expe...

If you struggle with people pleasing and/or codependent patterns with people you care about, it’s at least in part because you struggle with setting healthy boundaries. So many of us were taught that not having clear boundaries was a sign of love and trust. But actually, it’s the exact opposite. Trusting relationships all include healthy boundaries. You cannot have a relationship where...

One of the most difficult parts of leaving religion is often telling our loved ones. We want to be honest and transparent about our decisions, but we also want our families to still accept and love us. We often try to accomplish both by doing hundreds of hours of research and soul searching to find factual evidence to support our decision, looking for irrefutable evidence that our choice was the &...

If you find that you have an impossible time saying no, apologize for everything even when something is not your fault, are exhausted trying to meet the needs of others, and can’t remember the last time you had guilt-free free time….you may be a people pleaser. People pleasing is simply another coping mechanism we developed to keep ourselves safe from rejection or abandonment and help...

Perfectionism is a coping mechanism we develop in order to keep ourselves safe from emotional discomfort. Listen to this episode for more information about how perfectionism develops and what it feels like for those who experience it. Learn the differences between high achievers and perfectionists and the difficulties perfectionists often experience on their path to high achievement. And learn how...

We talk a lot about shame, but when you’ve been raised your whole life in a high-shame culture, sometimes it can be hard to detect it in everyday life, even in other people. I recently read Mike McHargue’s book “Finding God in the Waves” and the last bit of the book was full of lingering shame messages Mike still had about his deconstruction at the time of the writing. This...

Do you find it really hard to forgive yourself when you make mistakes? Are you harder on yourself than anyone else? Many of us were taught that having compassion for ourselves would lead to weakness and self-indulgence, but studies over the past decade have proven differently. Self compassion has been shown to be a trait of some of the most resilient, courageous, and kind people on the planet. Sel...

Leaving religion doesn’t have to mean leaving behind a relationship with God. If you desire to keep a connection with the divine after a faith transition, this episode explores 4 ways for you to experience the “god feeling”, no church, synagogue, or mosque needed.  Psssst: If you have some burning questions you’d like answered, email me at teri@emancipatedcoaching...

For many who leave high demand religion, learning to trust oneself again after finding out you’ve been abandoning your inner knowing for years can be difficult. In this episode, we normalize how we got to where we are today while exploring ways we can begin to rebuild and strengthen the trusting relationship we have with ourselves starting today. Self trust is vital to building confidence an...

I almost didn’t choose this question for today’s Q&A because your faith transition is NOT about what I believe and value now that I’ve left my former religion. It’s about what YOU believe and value. But because this is the question I get asked more than any other since transitioning out of my Mormon faith, I decided to go ahead and tackle this and the many related quest...

When was the last time you had someone really tune into what you were saying? Give your their undivided attention? Take in your words, really think them over, and then check back in with you to make sure they understand what you are trying to convey? When was the last time you were asked curiosity questions without preconceived judgment to clarify your message so the other person can really be on...

This might be one of the questions I hear the most from those questioning their faith or deciding to leave. None of us want to disappoint, hurt, embarrass, or drive a wedge between ourselves and our parents. We want our parents to be proud of us. And yet, part of growing up to be an autonomous, authentic, adult human being means that we’ll occasionally spark disappointment in others and some...

Empathy is a key ingredient to building trust between ourselves and our loved ones. But many of us weren’t taught what empathy is or how to use it. Luckily, empathy is a skill set that can be learned and practiced to create safe spaces for us to discuss vulnerable topics and ultimately feel more understood and accepted. Licensed Professional Counselor, Kevin Hales, joins me for a third episo...

You asked, and I answered! My inbox has been flooded with questions…questions that are common to those of us who have gone (or are going) through religious transition. I decided y’all deserve answers sooner than later. And you’ll get them each Thursday morning. Introducing: The Midweek Question and Answer Mini Episode. This week, I’m answering a question I’ve gotten 5...

Change is inevitable in our relationships. As individuals we learn new information, we expand our understanding, and we change our values, beliefs, and lifestyles based on this new understanding. This isn’t a failing, this is the natural course of maturing as a human being. It’s said that “each of us gets married 3 different times in our life, and sometimes it’s to the same...

We love our partners and our parents, but we all know the special kind of torture it can be to experience a conflict cycle with the people we love most. You know what I’m talking about. It’s a kind of “dance” we engage in when we’re upset with one another. We almost know how the conflict is going to go as soon as we get started. There’s a pattern we follow. Someone do...

What ARE limiting beliefs?  A limiting belief is simply a thought you’ve thought so many times it feels true. These beliefs may be supported by our experiences, our culture, and the information we subconsciously focus on.  But in assuming the belief is true, we limit our capability to think and live creatively. We put ourselves in a problem-solving box. And often, we get frustrated...

My favorite topic to talk about! For me, this was the key to healing and self-discovery. Going through a religious transition (or any kind of life transition) can leave you feeling a range of emotions. Each emotion is there to give you information from your inner knowing about what you need to heal and what you want in the new life you’re creating. But here’s the catch 22: If you&#8217...

Have you gone through the difficult journey of deconstructing your religion only to find you deconstructed your identity too? Those who leave high demand religion often find that when they leave behind orthodoxy or the faith altogether, they inadvertently leave behind the pseudo-identity they’ve been living with for years. What do I believe now? What are my values? What do I want out of life...

After a life-time of high demand religious rules, there’s only one rule here. (Whew, amiright?) That rule is: YOU are the authority in your own life! If you’re ready to get curious about things we’ve taken for granted as absolute “truth” and allow yourself to examine whether you’d like to keep those beliefs…or not…hop in the vehicle! We’re goin...