Dude, That's F****d Up

If you're of a certain age, you may remember the diet craze of the 1990s. SlimFast and Lean Cuisine were king, Diet Coke was at its Supermodel peak, and "fat free" was the way to be. In this episode, Erin and Nicole uncover the miracle of diet miracles: Olestra. Sure, it made your butt leaky, but FAT FREE DORITOS.

Happy 3 year anniversary to our Dudes! Not just Erin and Nicole, but all the dudes, near and far, who support this podcast! In this episode, Erin and Nicole celebrate their anniversary by reading (and listening to!) some hilarious stories from listeners around the world.

Erin's on her way to Ireland this week, amidst a global epidemic. And while she's a little worried about germs on the plane, they are nothing compared to the horrors she might find when she gets there. Headless horsemen, banshees and a stone that everyone puts their mouth on, that might also have been a toilet? This week, Erin and Nicole touch upon Irish mythology and superstition!

If you haven't heard of Le Pétomane, today's your lucky day. If you have, you should also consider yourself blessed, because there is a guardian angel on your shoulder, making sure you are exposed to only the most premium content out there. Erin and Nicole just learned of Le Pétomane (aka Joseph Pujol aka the French Flatulist) for the first time this week and they were blown away...that's a joke '...

Hold on to your Moby Dicks, because this week, Erin and Nicole detonate the much-requested topic of the Oregon Exploding Whale of 1970.

The city of Boston is known for its candy beans, its blood colored socks and its wicked good accent. That is, until now. NOW you will know Boston as the city that got into the stickiest situation in history! Join Erin and Nicole as they wade through the Molasses Disaster of 1919.

Put on your Bermuda Shorts and snorkel, because Erin and Nicole are leading us on a voyage to find the Lost City of Atlantis! It's the tropical vacation you never knew you never wanted! Full of sunburns and Sir Francis Bacon and even a Bus Driver Historian! Also, a whole lotta BS from YouTubers.

Not all f****d up things are true crime, but all true crime is definitely f****d up! In this episode, Erin and Nicole take a suggestion from a listener and talk about serial killer Richard Chase, aka the "Vampire of Sacramento." And maybe not entirely accidentally, they play a drinking game: anytime something is awful, drink a lot of rosé. (Hangovers were had.)

Did you know the Queen of England has a secret purse language she uses to signal her handlers?  She also ALWAYS wins at Charades. Also also, she (allegedly) makes people play Charades. Join Erin and Nicole as they spill ALL the High Tea on the etiquette, rules and quirks of being a part of the Queen's entourage.

Join Erin and Nicole as they discuss all the bells, whistles, petticoats, ribbing, underwires, and itchy crotches of  women's underwear throughout the centuries.

Erin and Nicole look back at the decade and remember some of the best worst (and worst best) fashion trends, food trends, and celebrity news. What a time to be alive!

It's the annual DTFU Holiday Party! In this episode, Erin and Nicole apologize for missing an important part of Yeti research from the previous episode, roast each other with their tradition of Sinterklaas poems, and talk about the biggest box office bomb of 2019 (it's Cats).

In this episode, Erin and Nicole take you through the ups and downs and literal ins and outs of the Australian-born art form known as "Puppetry of the Penis."

This week, Erin and Nicole read some of your listener stories, as well as some original steamy fiction inspired by Episode 142:  Vermonster!

If you thought all cryptids were hairy, non-sexy beings, you haven't met the Pigman of Vermont! Slather yourself in maple syrup and join Erin and Nicole while they get sloppy talkin' bout this beefy, er- porky, urban legend of an animal-man. Discussion includes but is not limited to: how he came to be, how an erotic novel about him might read and, of course, what his crypt-dick looks like!

What were you doing in 2004? Erin and Nicole were flat-ironing their swoopy bangs and apparently not watching the news. Otherwise they would have seen a very interesting story about a man who bulldozed an entire town in a makeshift Transformer. Join our Dudes as they discuss this week's topic: Killdozer.

Welp, they've finally stumbled on their own, original synonym for "butthole." And that's in the first 10 minutes - it's all uphill from there! Join Erin and Nicole as they continue their run of spoopy content with Spectrophilia. It's a fancy term for "sex with ghosts." And while they might not believe the personal accounts of ghost-bonin', they're fully on board for the kink.

You've probably already guessed things didn't end well for those accused of witchcraft in Salem in 1692, but there's no way to know for sure unless you listen to this episode! Or I guess you could Google it, but Erin and Nicole already did that for you! Tighten that bonnet and and hike up those stockings for the conclusion to the two-part series on the Salem Witch Trials of 1692.

'Tis the season to get spoopy, y'all! Light your pumpkin spice candle, slice up a honey crisp apple and get hygge with Erin and Nicole this week, as they discuss the events leading up to the Salem Witch Trials of 1692. Stay tuned for the part two, where we get into the actual trial events. Spoiler alert: they were a complete sh*t show. ***Visit closecallstudio.com or follow them @closecallstudio o...

The "g" isn't necessarily silent, it's more of a "nyah" sound. Like "gnocchi." Or "Gnard." Or I guess even "N'York Times," which is where the inspiration for this episode originated. Join Erin and Nicole this week and they discuss office bathroom politics, public bathroom etiquette and a whole lot of their personal habits. Why? Good question. But if it's news enough for the New York Times, it's ne...

What do you get when you mix two G&Ts, a calorie deprived freelancer, and a woman whose underwear is lost on a truck somewhere in the continental US? This week's episode of DTFU, duh! Join Erin and Nicole as they discuss the tragic circumstances and recently solved mystery surrounding the (Not Benjamin) Franklin Expedition. -------------------------------------------------------------------------...

Not to be confused with the Greatest (?) Showman P.T. Barnum, this episode's subject is a sort of real-life Gaston. If Gaston was more disgusting and got the "Gas" part of his name from his nasty farts. Join Erin and Nicole as they make their way through the life and times of maybe-cannibal Tarrare. The jury's out on human flesh, but he definitely ate his own doo doo.

Erin's in the building! Literally, she's in Nicole's building and they are recording together, in person, and it's everything you wanted it to be! Unless you wanted it to be a full-length episode, in which case you'll be disappointed. Join our hosts this week as they recap Erin's move and drink wine and cry-laugh. It just comes so easily in person! (But seriously, there isn't a topic this week. Bu...

Say that three times fast. You sound like Daffy Duck, don't you? This week, take a road trip of the mind to DTFU's favorite place: Las Vegas. She's a city of vices: cocktails, gambling, porno cards (you may know them as escort cards?) and she can be a real bitch. Join Erin and Nicole as they talk about the series of tunnels below the strip and how harsh Lady Luck can really be.

This week, the satanic rituals are plentiful as Erin and Nicole finally dig into the cultural phenomenon that is the Satanic Panic. It's like the Salem Witch Trials, but with more hairspray.