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Okay, first watch this video . Then look around you, because odds are good that Michael Jackson's world-warping chroma-dance has placed him in your room... even beyond the grave! How many Michael Jacksons can dance on the Hagia Sophia? As many as can dance on the head of a pin.

Howdy, Quaid. If you're watching this, that means that Kuato is dead, and you led us to him. I knew that you wouldn't let me down. Sorry for all of the shit I've put you through, but hey, what are friends are for? All I want to do is wish you happiness and good living, old buddy, but unfortunately, that's not gonna happen. You see, that's "my" body you have there, and I want it back. Sorry for bei...

Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Steve Gaynor talk about Yahar'gul, the Unseen Village. LINKS OF NOTE: The Fullbright Company Steve on Twitter The Last Guardian Makeup Head Cage Road to Wellville Bram Stoker's Dracula Asylum Sacrifice Tower Knight I didn't know I was pregnant Tone Control Tacoma

Kole, Ben, David, and Jala talk about The Beginner's Guide, the Humble Monthly plan, and we ask you what you listen to when you play games. The Brief: Humble Monthly. A good deal? Far Cry Primal revealed. Upsilon Circuit. Arizona Sunshine. Multiplayer: What do you listen to when you play games? The Grind: Jala: The Fist of Jesus. Leviathan: Last Day of the Decade. Valdis Story. Kole: The Beginner'...

Gary Butterfield and Kole Ross gird their loins to battle King of Dragon Pass. File this one under "Gem that should have gotten more attention." It's a strategy-game-meets-CYOA, but it's so much more. It's a tale of barbarians, but not in the way you'd expect. It's a fusion of narrative and systems on a level you don't really see. Do yourself a favor, listen to this episode as a beginner's guide,...

This week on Abject Suffering, we learn a valuable lesson. To never do educational games again.

Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Sean Wagoner read your responses to the Nightmare Frontier. LINKS OF NOTE: Boyfights The Mountains of Madness Fake Trailer Gallgher

Nick and Gary hack into Shadowrun: Hong Kong. It's slightly worse than Dragonfall but that's like saying 9 dollars is slightly worse than 10 dollars. You should definitely play this one. As a quick admin note, we're going on a brief hiatus while Gary deals with some blood curdling real life shit. We'll be back for Rebirth (at the latest!).

Kole, Ben, Dennis, and David talk about the Mega Man Legends PSN release, DeadCore, and we ask you about awkward video game moments. The Brief: Mega Man Legends hits the PSN. "The Beginner's Guide" is the followup to The Stanley Parable Weird Call of Duty promotional campaign. Hitman gets a release date. Multiplayer: What's the most awkward moment in games? The Grind: Dennis: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger...

Gary Butterfield and Kole Ross read your responses to Doom II: Hell on Earth. LINKS OF NOTE: [I Love Lisa]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8T9ZRAk7Vc ) [Hocus Pocus]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UUMsInka2s ) [Outlaws]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCMh-88a2DI ) [Rage]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2Vj2UpA4dE ) Support Watch Out for Fireballs!

You like Korn, don't you? Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it. What a fascinating experience this video is. High highs featuring ammomancy and edgey MacFarland art, then low lows featuring a grunt solo that I can't actually listen to.

This week we talk about [dies]

Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Sean Wagoner talk about the Nightmare Frontier. LINKS OF NOTE: The Lore Hunter Robert W Chambers The Dreamlands MC Pee Pants Souls of Darkness Aboleth Man-Thing

Gary Butterfield and Kole Ross mow through Doom II: Hell on Earth. It's time to talk smart about a game that (seems) dumb. Where did first-person shooters get their start? Well, not here. But for most of the 90s, FPSs were called "Doom Clones". Doom II saw id advancing their 3D trickery, and expanding on the success of their previous works. And it's mostly succcessful. LINKS OF NOTE: [WOFF WAD]( w...

Journey with us to the heart of blandness. Watch for the polygons, they're extra sharp this time of year.

Gary Butterfield and Kole Ross read your responses to Forsaken Castle Cainhurst. LINKS OF NOTE: World's Tastiest Cat Litter See No Evil, Hero No Evil Murphy Beds Horse and Buggy Ride Lost in Space Pyramid Head, spoilers here Pumpers Fear of the Unknown

Kole, Ben, David, and Jala talk about some TGS announcements, Super Mario Maker, and we ask you about the darkest choices you've made in games.

Gary Butterfield and Kole Ross read your responses to Paper Mario. LINKS OF NOTE: [Outkast]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw ) [Freakin Weekend]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR0v0i63PQ4 ) [Sat on some gum]( www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sat+in+gum ) [Advice Hot Dog](advicehotdog.com/) [Deaf Protagonist]( www.clickhole.com/video/progress-v…m_source=twitter ) [Joy Mecha Fight]( www.youtube...

Hey, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WEtxJ4-sh4 We love story rich vidoes at TDB and boy do we have some doozies this batch, starting with this social consciousness number. Other than the inexplicable slut shaming, it's mostly stuff we can get behind.

Part 2 of the Zoo Dog Chronicles proceeds, with us taking the Angel Quiz. Will we ascend to heaven? Or will be burn in hell? Links: Video version of the Angel Quiz video — Please, you have to watch this.

Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Cory Banks talk about the Forsaken Castle Cainhurst area of Bloodborne. LINKS OF NOTE: Gamers With Jobs Dragula Fall animations White Wolf Memory Leak bug Cedar Point. Look at that fucking raven rollercoaster!

Super Time Force is right up our alley. But this episode is about new directions for the show as we tackle an unreleased Sonic game.

Kole, Ben, David, and Jala talk about the Ubisoft theme park, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, and we do a Free Play Multiplayer. The Brief: Games about mental illness. Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth releasing October 30,2015. Fallout 4 will have shitloads of dialogue. Ubisoft is working on a theme park. Multiplayer: FREE PLAY. The Grind: Ben: Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes. Metal Gear Solid V...

Gary Butterfield and Kole Ross wrap up their series on Paper Mario. Last week, we sprinted across the finish line with gusto. Chapter 3 was one of the strongest in the game. However this week, Paper Mario hits some doldrums before ultimately coming out just fine. LINKS OF NOTE: [Jerky Boys]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzUjSt9qIoY ) [FFX Arena]( www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqaCV1S8XfU ) [Unnerving Burger]...

Welcome to the series finale of Abject Suffering, because we'll never find anything better than this. Pack it up and turn out the lights, Cheers-style.