Drunk Ex-Pastors

Episode #128 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a criticism of our duet of "Baby It's Cold Outside" that is not homophobic at all. We then share our opinions about HBO's series Westworld, which recently wrapped up its first season (Jason had some issues with it, but we agreed that it ended with probably the coolest song ever), and Christian changes his tune on Love (the TV show, not the actual thing...

Episode #127 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a description of perhaps the most harrowing dream ever, after which we consider a conservative prophet's doomsday deadline for Obama to finally accomplish the insidious plans he's been hatching for the last eight years. We discuss whether David Blaine is a master illusionist, fraud, or minion of the underworld. We take voicemails from a Millennial liste...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with voicemails from a drunk biologist and a whiskey enthusiast and continues with a caller's challenge to Christian about whether he is raising fratboy Trump enthusiasts. We take more calls about the propriety of third-party voting and what it's like to be a politically conservative DXP fan, after which we discuss our president-elect's opinion on the punish...

This is the episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors that probably shouldn't have been made—It was recorded on our second Thanksgiving (celebrated on Friday), we had both been drinking for like ten hours, and it was unclear whether we were even recording that day at all. But as the saying goes, the show must go on. So we threw caution to the wind and, without an outline, our usual segments, or any pre-selected...

This episode of DXP focuses pretty much exclusively on politics (which, we realize, isn't everyone's cup of tea. But look at the bright side: When civilization as we know it ends in a year or two, none of you will have to worry about podcasts anymore. Or tea. Or cups. Or anything.). We take a voicemail about third party voting and another about the electoral college (about which we have modified o...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail from a listener who realizes he probably singlehandedly got Trump elected and then segues into a clarification from one of our Asian listeners about how guys can be bald but still super hot. We take a voicemail from perhaps the gayest dude EVER, and then revisit how deal-breakingly off-the-table male birth control should be since it potentia...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a couple aborted attempts by a listener at leaving us a voicemail, after which we do a shot of something so vile that one of the DXPs almost defiles a wastebasket. We take another call that confirms the fears of virtually all anti-pot people (the dude was "on a mountain" in more ways than one). Jason is challenged on his cavalier attitude toward a possi...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail from an Asian that isn't even that boring. Jason then complains (again) about being a casino valet, while Christian displays a measure of actual happiness. Christian laments the new direction his Xfinity internet provider is taking, and then we take a call from a southern listener about what it's like to find one's self in the "in-between" s...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a delightful ditty performed by one of our female listeners, and continues with a discussion of why we ever gave those females a voice in the first place. We then introduce a new and surely ill-conceived segment titled "Zat Racist?" in which we seek to convince ourselves that we're not horrible bigots (and are remarkably successful in the attempt). Jaso...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a caller's accusation that one of us has become too big for his literary britches. We then hear from one of our favorite fans who shares a bit about his family's struggle and that, somehow or another, our podcast actually helps him cope. We revisit the issue of overprotective fathers, after which we are forced to reckon with the notion that one of us ma...

Episode #118 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail about a bodily function that one of us may or may not have exhibited and then continues with a caller's request for an explanation of why there are so many Christian denominations. Jason then shares some stories about the various hijinks and tomfoolery that valets engage in when they think no one is watching (but when there are 700 cameras b...

This episode of DXP begins with a caller's example of situational irony which may or may not make one of us feel like the butt of some cruel cosmic joke. We delve into the issue of whether fictional universes overlap (as in, did Jack Ryan ever watch Star Wars?), and then hear once again from our Tinder-using listener, gaining more insight into the world of online dating. We take another voicemail...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with yet another caller berating us about our ignorance about science, only this one comes from the most famous cosmologist alive. Christian then provides us with a well-studied and non-ironic lesson about irony, after which Jason gets some well-deserved props for his mockery of the South. We take several more calls leading us into such topics as whether mas...

Episode #115 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voice mail involving a Tinder date and a potentially profitable bowel movement, after which Jason is given the chance to clarify whether he hates rich people because they're horrible, or simply because they're rich. We again are forced to reiterate our complete mistrust of "science," and then receive some encouragement about our continual use of movie...

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we revisit the issue of whether we ought to be as skeptical about scientific claims as we are, after which we finally put the "better to have loved and lost" issue to bed. Jason shares some thoughts on the issue of irony and how it didn't exist until his own generation got all cynical and jaded. We then take a call about depression and how ineffective slogans ar...

This episode of DXP is light on serious content but heavy on verse, so if you're uncomfortable with two grown men taking turns citing poetry back and forth, best to move along. Before we get to that, however, we reminisce about the hard-hitting episodes of our favorite '80s TV shows and take a voice mail about Alfred Lloyd Tennyson. We then commiserate with another caller about the worst (or most...

This episode of DXP begins with a caller's suggestion about Jason's comic book alter ego, after which we address the emotional rollercoaster ride that is our Patreon pledges. We answer some listeners' questions about Seattle and Satanism, and then segue into the danger of listening to the devil's music. We then turn to our main topic of love, dating, and heartbreak, addressing such issues as "Is t...

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we begin by reminding everyone that football season is right around the corner, furnishing Cam Newton with endless possibilities for being a complete tool. We commiserate over our most generous patron turning out to be a sham, and then tackle a caller's question about how to be right when everyone around us is wrong. We revisit Satanism and discuss the writing o...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail leading to our resolving, for serious this time, to finally schedule a DXP cruise. After a shot of Hornitos we take a voicemail suggesting we start doing movie reviews, another pointing out what an uninvolved father Jason is, and still another from a guy asking for tips for his devotional trip through the Satanic Bible. We discuss WikiLeaks...

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, we begin by being reminded of how many babies have "slid out of vaginas" since we've been born, and we then compare comic book fans to Trump voters. We take a helpful call with tips for how Jason can write a bestseller, and then spend way more time than expected discussing the relation between postmodernism and man-buns. We explore the issue of how good an acto...

This episode of DXP begins on a bad note (something involving a caller telling us how hellbound and sinister we are), after which we consider how ironic Trump's running mate is for decrying name-calling (he's such a moron). Jason reveals what's next for his career, after which we discuss whether Bernie ever really felt the Bern. We share our thoughts on the new Tony Robbins documentary, and anothe...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail reminding us how annoyed people get when we have feelings. We then tackle the issue of what does and does not constitute a spoiler (and what the statute of limitations on spoiling stories is). After revisiting the Pokémon Go craze we spend some time being annoyed with Dennis Prager's comparison of capitalism and socialism (you'll never guess...

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with  our talking about what we're not going to talk about, which is all the depressing crap going on in the world (so instead we discuss other, equally depressing, topics happening right here at home). We take a call about the implications of recovering from brain damage to the issue of whether we have a mind and a soul, and then segue into the topic of whi...

We begin this Fourth of July episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by revisiting the question of whether the shrill, poorly-dressed, and not-even-that-hot presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is treated unfairly because she's a woman (while Donald Trump apparently faces no media scrutiny whatsoever). We then address the topic of violent intervention in global conflicts (as in, should America do this becau...

In another episode of DXP that neither of us was in the mood for, we wax a bit personal and answer a caller's question about the various father-figures in our lives (Jason's will SHOCK you), and then address another listener's suggestion that the reason Hillary is garnering such scrutiny is that she has a vagina. We briefly revisit the topic of protecting ourselves against the evil gub-mint, after...