Dragons in Genesis

More judges than you can shake a stick at. Yahweh accepts another human sacrifice, and another ancient festival is given a fictive origin story.

Learn all about the first few tribal leaders of Israel as we examine the first 5 chapter of Judges. Why are they still fighting the Canaanites? Has a woman ever ruled over Israel? Is the tribe of Dan really from Israel? Can Yahweh defeat a metal wagon? Where does this tent stake go? Find all these answers and more.

Was Joshua once a fish god? Were the stories of Joshua once about Yahweh himself? Are Joshua and Moses the same character? And where did the idea that Moses had horns actually come from?

Listener questions on a variety of topics including the bible, woodchucks, and Godzilla are answered here.

In the first half of the book of Joshua we learn that Yahweh will clear the Promised Land personally but then makes the Israelites do it all themselves. Joshua gives Yahweh orders, which the Lord obeys, and we finally get an answer to that age-old question: Can a god be defeated by iron chariots?

The Deuteronomic Reform was established to oust the original pantheon from the Jerusalem Temple and the book of Deuteronomy created to justify the transition from a polytheism to monotheism. But that's not all. According to this book, Yahweh has a dad, the Israelites didn't wander for 40 years, and Yahweh will force some people to eat their own babies.

In the second half of the Book of Numbers we encounter angel snakes, pagan idols, talking donkeys, magic smoke, genocide, and a group of priests with the power to awaken Leviathan. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

After receiving the law code in Leviticus, Yahweh sends his favorite people toward the promised land... and then tries to kill them every step of the way. Oh, and there are giant demigods as well.

The entire (boring) book of Leviticus in a single episode recorded inside a Christian chapel in Portage, Wisconsin. Can Yahweh count to 6? Are bats a type of bird? Do rabbits chew cud? Is it worse to sleep with your cousin or your sister? What the heck is "Alien Fire"? Yahweh answers your most important questions that you never thought to ask.

Remember when Yahweh built a golden calf and then punished the people for it? Wait, you thought it was the people who made the calf? Better go back and read that chapter again. And also catch up on the Moses with horns, the flesh hooks, some child sacrifice, and the intrusion of Egyptian mystery cults into Yahweh worship. And absolutely zero talk about how Moses is similar to Dionysus.

What are we allowed to do? What must we never do? Well we can never cook a young goat in its mother's milk, that's for certain but slavery is still kosher. As for the rest, it's all here in this episode. All the rules that are part of Yahweh's covenant with Israel including the second draft that drifts into strange waters.

You asked, I answered. God, the Devil, Santa, Dating Sims, and a little girl lost in the woods.

Pack your bags and grab your unleavened bread, we're departing the land of plenty and marching into the land where people die of dehydration and starvation. But never fear, our Lord is here! He'll give us everything we need, provided we don't upset him in any way. Then he might kill us horribly.

It's time for Passover. Grab your goats, don't leaven the bread, and spatter some blood about to protect your children from death deities. Oh, and there might be some divine cannibalism involved. It's a god eat god world out there and I'm wearing unleavened bread underwear... or something like that.

Yahweh sets up Pharaoh for failure and even refuses to allow the Israelites to be freed so he can enact his master plan which includes turning all the dirt in the world into lice, turning all the water into blood (except for the water that was overlooked), and worst of all... FROGS!

Mosessss... just killed a man. Put a rock upside his head. Buried in the sand and now he's dead.

If you want to build a Jewish lawgiver, you'll need one part Akkadian king, a Babylonian conqueror, a pinch of Egyptian miracles, two pounds of Semitic invaders, and a touch of Egyptian monotheism. Mix well and bake for several centuries until golden-calf brown... or until people believe it's true. Let cool and serve on two stone tablets.

A variety of pre-biblical texts are drawn upon to craft the tale of Joseph as the patriarch continues his adventures in Egypt. His life is filled with deception, intrigue, and brutality, and his methods of divination come not from Israel, but from Egypt and will later be banned by the priests of Jerusalem.

Genesis concludes with a novella about Joseph, a young man who is sold into slavery by his brothers only to rise above the adversity to rule over a pair of nations and save the world from starvation. Only the story is much deeper than that. It's a tale about theological clashes and staggering anachronisms and subtle literature. It's a tale of triumph and betrayal and redemption. But mostly it's ab...

There's a scene borrowed directly from the Epic of Gilgamesh and we find some strange genetic experiments involving goats. Gods are abducted, another is defeated in a wrestling match, and a hilltop shrine is established multiple times and a sacred grave keeps moving about. We cover all this and more in the story of Jacob.

Despite being regarded as one of the most important figures in the Old Testament, Isaac is virtually a non-entity. He isn't an active character in a single story that's original to him. Why is that? Could it stem from his origins as a pagan god whose worship fell out of favor within the Second Temple community?

Concluding the story of Israel's first patriarch, we follow Abraham into the land of Gerar where he again sells his wife into the harem of a foreign king and then we climb Mount Moriah to witness the attempted sacrifice of his son. We find multiple layers as the Isaac story is meant to overwrite the older story of Ishmael.

Abraham gets a name change, has a personal visitation from multiple gods, Sarah uses magical curses against a slave girl before sleeping with a deity, and two cities are destroyed. But somehow these strange tales come together to form an interesting parallel to the story of Noah's flood.

We begin our coverage of the first patriarch and the covenant between him and Yahweh, or El Elyon, with the father of Judaism selling his half-sister, who is also his wife, into the pharaoh's harem.

The Tower of Babel has long been recognized as a cautionary tale warning against climbing too high and upsetting the gods... but is it more than that? And where did this story come from? While examining this brief tale we trace its origins back thousands of years to characters like Adapa, Erra, Ziusudra, Nimrod, and a giant who was the ancestor of Abraham.