Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

One of the worst psychological pieces of advice on the internet is that which describes resentment as a healthy emotion. Contrary evidence in psychology and medicine notwithstanding, some authors argue that resentment is nevertheless healthy because it "tells you something is wrong." So does disease, emotional disorder, and addiction. There are healthy ways to know that something is wrong and ther...

The desire to avoid conflict in a relationship is common, but for very different reasons. First, involvement with a partner who is unable to perspective-take makes it nearly impossible to work out difficulties constructively. Simple disagreements often escalate into epic battles. Understandably, a person may wish to avoid these nightmare fights by side-stepping the power struggles. Second, a partn...

While cultural tropes suggest that adult children estrange in a fit of pique, that doesn't actually appear to be the case for the preponderance of adults estranged from parents and, most usually, their extended families as well; the decision is usually decades in the making. It is clear that it's rare to be estranged from just one person since relatives are either co-opted to take sides or choose...

Hybristophilia is a term that has emerged to describe a peculiar and often misunderstood psychological phenomenon: sexual or romantic attraction to dangerous people or people with a criminal history. This type of attraction arouses deep interest in individuals who have committed illicit or violent acts, raising questions about the motivations behind this preference and its possible psychological i...

Regret can be an incredibly painful emotion. While rooted in feelings of contrition, disappointment, guilt, or remorse for things that have happened in the past, such feelings can have a powerful influence over your life in the here and now. The problem is that when you are feeling regret over past choices or past mistakes, you might sometimes miss out on the joys of the present moment. Tune in an...

Living in a foreign country and adjusting to a new culture can be a very rewarding experience. But, it can also be a difficult one if you do not understand the values and assumptions of the society. Values are ideas about what is right and wrong, desirable and undesirable, normal and abnormal, proper and improper. Assumptions, as the term is used here, are the unquestioned standards about people,...

If a family member suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or displays significant narcissistic tendencies, the holidays can mean great chaos and calamity. During the season, there are more opportunities for narcissists to display their most egregious behaviors. Narcissists have a hard time celebrating the big events of others. If there's a holiday gathering on the calendar, they will try t...

Persistent depressive disorder, known as dysthymia or low-grade depression, is less severe than major depression but more chronic. It occurs twice as often in women as in men. Persistent depressive disorder (PDD) is a serious and disabling disorder that shares many symptoms with other forms of clinical depression. It is generally experienced as a less severe but more chronic form of major depressi...

Though our need to connect is innate, many of us frequently feel alone. Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one's desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. Even some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day—or are in a long-lasting marriage—still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness. Research suggests...

Geographical psychology examines links between location and psychological phenomena, such as how and why personality traits, life satisfaction, and social behavior differ from place to place—or cluster in certain areas. These differences may appear across hemispheres, regions, states, cities, or neighborhoods. Every location houses psychologically diverse residents. But general differences between...

You just moved to a new city. All your friends are getting married or having kids. You retired. You got divorced. You've outgrown your childhood friends. You've been clinging to your spouse as your only friend and it's making you lonely. There are many reasons why you might need to make new friends—and if you don't need to make them now, you will at some point. Tune in and learn all about how to m...

The question of the meaning of life is perhaps one that we would rather not ask, for fear of the answer or lack thereof. Still today, many people believe that we, humankind, are the creation of a supernatural entity called God, that God had an intelligent purpose in creating us, and that this intelligent purpose is the meaning of life. Tune in for a deep exploration into what our meaning in the li...

With all the buzz around childhood obesity, it's easy to become desensitized to the statistics. But the shocking figures can't be ignored: Since 1980, the prevalence of obesity among kids and adolescents in the United States has tripled, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Estimates from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) show that 31.7 per...

Promiscuity is formally defined, according to Webster, as including not only frequent but indiscriminate sexual behavior. Preference for frequent sexual contacts is not necessarily the same as being sexually indiscriminating. The latter, in women, indicates a possible compulsive, and therefore, pathological quality to the excessive sexual behavior, referred to traditionally as nymphomania. (In men...

Through most of Western civilization, marriage has been more a matter of money, power and survival than of delicate sentiments. In medieval Europe, everyone from the lord of the manor to the village locals had a say in deciding who should wed. Love was considered an absurdly flimsy reason for a match. Even during the Enlightenment and Victorian eras, adultery and friendship were often more passion...

Mania can range from mild (known as hypomania) to severe; at its most extreme, mania can trigger delusions, violence, and an increased risk of suicide. Depending on the cause, a manic episode can last anywhere from several days to several months, and will typically increase in severity—and in the level of agitation—as it progresses. Milder mania is more likely to be associated with positive outcom...

Virtually anyone who has survived sexual assault or experienced sexual harassment knows how painful victim-blaming can be. Survivors are often asked what they were wearing, what they did to "encourage" the perpetrator, or even why they didn't fight back more. Despite the recent rise of the #MeToo movement, victim-blaming remains a tenacious problem. In fact, it may be more tenacious than any of us...

Body language is a silent orchestra, as people constantly give clues to what they're thinking and feeling. Non-verbal messages including body movements, facial expressions, vocal tone and volume, and other signals are collectively known as body language. Microexpressions (brief displays of emotion on the face), hand gestures, and posture all register in the human brain almost immediately—even when...

If nothing else, the conflict in the Middle East has made it clear that identity politics isn't going away. In fact, many individuals who previously criticized identity politics now embrace their personal identities more strongly than ever. Identity politics refers to political positions and perspectives that focus on the interests and issues pertinent to specific groups defined by characteristics...

While American children had once commonly enjoyed the freedom to run around outside with minimal adult interference, they began to spend more time indoors where their parents could watch them. When they did go outside, they were more often accompanied by a grown-up; unstructured roughhousing and roleplaying were replaced by supervised play dates or carefully shepherded trips to the park. Kids bega...

Why do we hold grudges when they are in fact quite painful to maintain, and often seem to work against what we really want? Why do we keep wounds open and active, living in past experiences of pain which prevent new experiences from being able to happen? What keeps us stuck when we want to move on and let go? Most importantly, how can we let go? Tune in and learn all about managing grudges!

Media especially through portrayals of characters, narratives and scenarios can serve as powerful models for learning behavior. We have seen this in the famous Bobo doll experiment by Albert Bandura. Following a series of child tests, Albert Bandura proposed the social learning theory. The experiments proved that children learn through observation and later imitate similar behavior with the combin...

It's always difficult to hear your children yelling or sobbing that they don't want to go to school. You may be even more sensitive to their reluctance and anxiety because of what an unpredictable place school has felt like for the past two years. So, what do you do when you have scrambled to get all your kids' school supplies and clothes ready for school only to find that you now must coax them t...

What makes friendship in marriage a potential benefit is that you will need to have someone you can talk to and fight alongside when life gets tough. And the ideal combination is a spouse with whom you share your life plans and the best buddy all in one. Best friends can talk about everything together, console each other, support one another, and help find solutions. While we are contemplating why...

What, exactly, is apathy? In a sense, it's something like falling in love. You can describe it all you want, but until you've experienced it, you can only guess what it feels like. Paradoxically, what makes the feeling of apathy unique is that it's essentially the feeling of not feeling. It's something that at some point in your existence you've encountered. Whenever you feel that something vital...