Divorce University Online

You Are In Charge of Your Child Custody Case – Episode 298 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you're in Court it's easy to feel like everyone else is in control, your attorney, the judge, the experts and that you have no say. You actually have the option to advocate for yourself, even if you have an attorney, if you know how to navigate the process. In this episode, I'll share tips to...

Trust the Process – Episode 297 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Trusting the process can be very difficult, especially when you have a negative outcome in your first interaction with the Court. Many times, our own emotional patterns work against us in trusting the process. There are reasons that the Court does things in particular order and in a particular way. Understanding that will he...

Expectations vs Reality in Child Custody – Episode 296 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are dealing with child custody issues, we have expectations of our children, our co-parent and most of all the Court. But when our expectations don't match reality, we end up feeling all kinds of negative emotions like frustration, anxiety, depression, anger, sadness, and the list goes on. Shif...

Finding a Narcissist's Kryptonite – Episode 295 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dealing with a narcissist is all about regaining the emotional power. There are ways that you can do this, even if it feels impossible. In this episode, I'll give you my top three tips to accomplish this and one of them you will be able to start immediately! To learn more about how I can support you in achiev...

What You Say vs What You Do – Episode 294 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you consistent? Consistency creates credibility with the Court. Often, we recognize inconsistency in our ex, the Courts, or other professionals but it's easy to miss your own inconsistent behavior. When the Court feels that your words match your actions, you have a better chance of getting a successful outcome....

The Power of Doing Nothing – Episode 293 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The decisions you make, or avoid making, in the beginning of your cas...

Early Decisions Are the Most Impactful – Episode 292 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The decisions you make, or avoid making, in the beginning...

Your Life is a Story – Episode 291 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We don't realize on a daily basis that we are writing the words, paragraphs, pages, and chapters of our life story. The struggles and trials become so consuming that we lose sight of the big picture. What lessons are you learning that will strengthen you or create a positive model for your children or build the life of yo...

When Child Custody Feels Overwhelming – Episode 290 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The issues in child custody are not great in number, but great in detail. Many small decisions are needed to resolve the overall problems. It's like being pecked to death by chickens! So, what do you need to focus on and how do you best manage all the tedious details. In this episode, I'll help you create...

Creating Child Custody Magnets – Episode 289 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the challenges separating parents face is creating two worlds for their children. Many times, parents feel it's best to leave the children in the family home and not force them to transition between homes. And if you have teenagers, they can be very resistant to transitions due to their own selfish motive...

It Won't Always Be This Way – Episode 288 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We tend to feel like our day-to-day life is static and that whatever we are going through will last forever. However, life is contact change. So, if you're in a rough season or trial, the good news is that it won't last forever and if you're in a good season, the lesson is to cherish it because it won't last foreve...

Exchanging the Children – Episode 287 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Even though exchanges of children generally happen one to three times per week depending on your parenting schedule, we rarely seem to talk about how to have them go smoothly. These exchanges are obviously stressful for divorcing or separating parents but they can be exponentially stressful for the children. In this ep...

The Nature of the Narcissist – Episode 286 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Understanding the nature of the narcissist is one of the keys to managing them effectively. Narcissists do not see the world the same way a non-narcissist sees the world. Our values and morals don't typically match the values and morals of the narcissist. To win the game, you must understand the rules. To learn mo...

3 Tips for Testifying in Your Child Custody Case – Episode 285 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Giving testimony on the witness stand is one of the most stressful parts of a divorce or child custody case. But there are strategies you can use to help you stay calm and make a good impression on the Court. To learn more about how I can support you in achieving success in your custody matter,...

Change of Circumstances in Child Custody – Episode 284 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. How do you know if your child custody situation has a material or substantial change of circumstances? What are Judges looking for? In this episode, I'll share some stories on past cases and talk about some of the more common circumstances that Judges tend to see as a substantial change. To learn more...

Do Judges Understand Narcissism? – Episode 283 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a narcissistic or high conflict ex, it can be frustrating to try and get the Court to understand that your ex is a narcissist. If we could just get the Judge to understand what we're dealing with, that would solve the problem, right? But, are we even asking the right question to start...

False Allegations In Child Custody – Episode 282 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents deal with false allegations from the other parent. This can come in many forms. Sometimes, it comes through the child, sometimes we are dealing with it in our communication with the other parent, and sometimes, we are dealing with it in the courtroom. No matter what your situation, I'm going to...

Overthinking In Child Custody - Episode 281 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you are an overthinker like me, then you probably analyze everything your co-parent does or says. And you're always trying to figure out their agenda. Overthinking would seem to give you a logical advantage but in reality, it often results in an emotional disadvantage. So, why do we do it? And can we stop? To...

Narcissists vs. Empaths - Episode 280 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. It is very common for a person that is an empath to end up in a relationship with someone with narcissistic qualities. The two people have often experienced similar childhood traumas but the effects of the trauma manifest in completely opposite ways. This is why the push and pull of the relationship tends to continue i...

Nesting in Child Custody - Episode 279 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Nesting is a parenting arrangement where the children remain in the home and the parents rotate in and out. This is an uncommon arrangement and is rarely used by the Court. However, it can be necessary for financial arrangements or when you have an ill or special needs child. In any case, there are things you can do t...

What Toddlers and Narcissists Have In Common - Episode 278 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many of the behaviors we experience with our toddlers are reflected in similar behaviors from narcissists. And while we expect bad behavior from our toddler, it's not so cute once a person reaches adulthood. The good news is that we can learn effective strategies for dealing with a narcissist by lo...

Why Narcissists Win In Court - Episode 277 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Court can be a scary process when we are afraid that our ex will be able to charm and manipulate to get their way. And the Court does have limited time and resources to try and figure out what is going on in your case.   But, there are things you can do to make it easier for the Court to see your ex's true colors....

Have I Screwed Up My Case - Episode 276 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We are all human. And when you're going through a divorce or child custody case, you are a human under immense amount of stress. Unfortunately, we sometimes make mistakes that us feel like we've screwed up the entire situation and that we will never recover. But the good news is that people love a good redemption sto...

The Calm Before the Child Custody Storm - Episode 275 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, we often see cyclical patterns of behavior and emotions. So, when things are really calm or quiet, we are sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. There are things we can do in the calm that will help prevent the storm, delay the storm, or a...

Breaking Toxic Patterns in Child Custody - Episode 274 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We usually think of toxic patterns in the context of romantic relationships. When a relationship ends and there are children involved, we often see the toxic patterns of behavior continue through the co-parenting. If you weren't able to break those patterns during the relationship, how can you break th...