Divorce Coaches Academy

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) We're thrilled to be joined this week by Jackie Pilossoph, founder of Divorced Girl Smiling .  Jackie says that Divorced Girl Smiling (DGS) is like going to Starbucks with your friend to talk about your divorce and your love life. DGS is about community — the community is those facing divorce and those who have dedicated their car...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) Money fears are pretty common in divorce. Clients may be afraid they don’t know enough about money, won’t get enough money or they’ll have to give up too much money. Or they might have concerns that their partner will be difficult and they’ll have to fight to get what’s “fair”. By the way, most of us call “fair” the 4-letter F wor...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) No one likes feeling hopeless and most clients who choose mediation are desperate to avoid the cost and stress of a trial, but how can we help when they feel like it's not going well and they're running out of options? Today we’re going to give you and your client some proven strategies to try when they’re feeling hopeless in thei...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) This week we had a great networking event where we discussed the popular TED Talk, "How to avoid catching prickly emotions from other people". Did you know there's a cactus nicknamed the "jumping cholla" for it's tendency to seemingly shoot cactus spines into unsuspecting passersby?  The same thing can happen when we get too close...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) No doubt we've have all seen some pretty shady characters pull some pretty shady tricks in divorce and co-parenting. There are people in this world that get off on hurting others - the more you hurt, the happier they are. It’s sad to think that people like this exist, but wishing and hoping they were different doesn’t solve the pr...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) This week, we're thrilled for you to meet Nikki Bould. Nikki is a highly skilled ADR specialist in New Zealand and she's joining the DCA leadership team to deliver culturally and legally specific curriculum to aspiring New Zealand divorce coaches. Not only does New Zealand have it's own unique laws and processes when it comes to d...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) What's the best and fastest way to ramp up conflict in divorce and co-parenting? Certainly derailing language is near the top of the list. Those phrases that automatically trigger defensiveness or an emotional response - things like "you always", "you never", "you're overreacting", or Tracy's personal favorite, "calm down". This w...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) It’s just about time for everyone to start thinking about New Year’s resolutions and that usually means setting goals to get healthier and manage our money better. Almost every divorce coach we know would like to generate more revenue, so in this episode we share 5 simple strategies you can implement to earn more in your coaching...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) Are you certified but feel like you're ready to elevate your practice? This week we have the pleasure of talking with two certified, practicing divorce coaches who recently completed DCA's ELEVATE program to add an ADR divorce coaching certification to their credentials. Heather Cary and Carolyn Jacobs give us the inside scoop on...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) When people find out what we do, it's not unusual to hear “UGH, I wish I’d known you when I went through my divorce. I made so many mistakes.” In this week's episode, we’re reviewing the five common mistakes people make and talk about how a divorce coach helps clients sidestep those mistakes and save time, money, relational damage...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) If you’re working in the world of divorce, chances are that a number of your clients are going to be dealing with feelings of betrayal. In this episode we’re going to dig into how betrayal impacts emotions and decision making and discuss how you can work with clients struggling with the double whammy of betrayal and divorce. Resea...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) These days with all the talk of narcissists, domestic violence, intimate partner violence, and coercive control, we get a lot of questions from divorce coaches about how, when or whether they should be working with clients involved in these situations. In this episode, we clarify the specific role a divorce coach plays and examine...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) It’s Thanksgiving and we’re so thankful for all of you who take the time to listen each week. We thought it might be a great opportunity for you to get to know us a little better and get a sneak peek behind the scenes at the DCA podcast. Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk (and laugh) about: how they record the podcast each week why...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) In last week's episode, we talked about why people resist change and did a quick review of the 5 SCARF domains - status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. Today, we want to dive deep into the domain of certainty and discuss how uncertainty impacts both resistance to change and conflict. We consistently see a perfect...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) In this episode, we’re talking about working with those clients whose resistance to change is creating obstacles to negotiation and could potentially be escalating conflict. And resistance to the inevitable changes that divorce brings can cause everything from avoidant behaviors to decision making that’s downright destructive. As...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) For many clients, the idea of facing mediation with a difficult spouse or co-parent is terrifying. It feels so much more comfortable to think about hiding behind an attorney and letting the justice system do its thing. But we know that not only is it possible, but it’s actually preferable to try to resolve things out of court with...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) Most divorces are not legally complicated, but there are two things in many divorce documents that complicate the process for clients and increase conflict … and that’s language. Language that’s difficult to understand or language that’s too vague to provide post-decree guidance. This week we're talking about how to help clients d...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) A couple of weeks ago we talked about amicable divorce and explored the idea that there’s a wide space between being BFF’s and being mortal enemies. In this episode, we get into one of the sneaky issues that can drive conflict - and that’s decision making biases. In his book "Thinking Fast and Slow", Daniel Kahneman introduces us...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) Tracy and Debra are back on their microphones telling some truths this week. One of our absolute core values is to advocate for the professional practice of divorce coaching and yet we keep coming up against 2 things that make us crazy. The first one, we talked about a couple of weeks ago and that is individuals using the title of...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) When clients tell us that their goal is an amicable divorce, we wonder what their expectations are when they say that. What are they really anticipating their divorce experience will be like? So that’s the topic of today’s conversation. What does it mean to have an amicable divorce and if it’s not amicable, then what is it?  In 20...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) This week, we’re taking the Stay or Go episode from a couple of week ago to the next step and we're talking about partnering with your client to develop an exit strategy. This means helping them gather the information they need and develop action plans to remove the fear and uncertainty around when and how to divorce.  Fear is not...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) We’re noticing more and more people out here saying they’re divorce coaches, but when you dive into their bios, there’s no mention of coursework or certification in divorce coaching. They're using the title but don't have the training.  In this episode we're going on a bit of a rant about everybody and their brother calling themse...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) Our clients often face big decisions about real estate, especially the marital home, but as we’ll discuss today, money matters in divorce aren’t just about the numbers. They frequently get complicated by big emotions, so we thought our guest Jody Bruns would be the perfect expert to talk us through the best way to support our clie...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) How often have you heard a client say “I’m miserable and I can’t imagine going on like this. I’ve tried and tried and nothing is changing. But … I’m afraid to get divorced.” They typically go on to share about all the problems in their marriage until they come to the big BUT that’s keeping them stuck. And the 3 most common things...

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply) In previous episodes, we’ve covered conflict styles, some magic words to use in mediation and the idea of tiered proposals, but today we're talking about one the most effective negotiation strategies there is - and that’s arguing with questions. We’ve talked before about the ineffectiveness of positional bargaining, but it’s often...