Distractible

For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The three founding fathers gather once again to re-evaluate the sacred text that is the "Distractible Constitution." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cloacas, buttholes, and toxic gas. That can only mean one thing... Mark's hosting! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All of Wade's beautiful ideas... gone. Oh well, at least we still have kinky clowns, rooftop ninjas, and extra powerful bidets. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dudes Innovatively Spell The Right Acronyms Correctly Tonight (Nailed it.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. Mostly because Mark doesn't know how to use a gun. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wade gets himself canceled. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Distractible Cafe! Enjoy a nice hot cup of Mark's Finger Espresso or Wade's Frog Coffee, while relaxing in a chair that was assembled the wrong order by Bob. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Better keep your eyes open, bidets spraying, and reusable toilet paper wiping for this unbelievable easter egg. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donate to the LA Wildfire Relief: https://tiltify.com/@tiltify-impact-fund/lawildfires. As the podcast returns: Mark recounts his evacuation, Wade still doesn't have a car, and Bob is... the host. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pilot Captain Wade takes Mark and Bob on a flight across the country to gaze down upon the oddly named towns of America. And Russia. And Ancient Greece. Wait... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to listeners or viewers. It is a dimension as vast as Mark's hyper-fixations, and lies between the surface of Wade's head and the summit of Bob's knowledge of phone cases. This is the dimension of distraction. It is an episode which we call... The Distractible Paradox. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's always the right time for Distractible. Except maybe while driving. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New additions to the "Distractible Trigger Kit": a sandwich, a bowl of cereal, and un-torn wrapping paper. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Three! Two! One! We Failed! Oh, and happy new year I guess... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, by gosh, by golly! It's time for buying gifts for Bobby. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Insert description about Mark not having an episode idea here.] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forget about video games, Mark bought a kilogram of WHAT?!?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you heard of the Mark of Theseus? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're having extreme tech issues or dropping your used prophylactics in restaurants… COME ON DOWNNN!!! You’re the next contestant on “The Cost Is Correct!” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are two certainties in life: Mark will ALWAYS have obsessions, and Bob will NEVER be able to own a decent fridge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices