Dismembering Horror

OH, CANADA! Home and native land for the strange and somewhat delightful movie, “Cannibal Girls.” Despite some pretty glaring flaws, we still got something out of this “canuxploitation” flick, largely in thanks to the two leads (special shout out to Eugene Levy’s facial hair and wardrobe). And of course we got what we came for: girls eating people. We also got some things we never would have imagi...

“The Mimic.” What a movie. Was it a movie? We don’t remember. Mainly because it’s a middling, meandering, muddled, mess. Similar to the last Huh Jung film we watched, “Hide and Seek,” “The Mimic” never really figured out what it wanted to be, and the result was a mashup of “Ju-On” and “The Wailing” (while not hitting anything close to what made those movies work). We were left wanting so much more...

Not gonna lie: we didn’t love “Lyle.” Sadly, this rehash of “Rosemary’s Baby” left us wanting quite a bit more...like a third act, for example (even though Ryan was very happy when it ended so soon). We couldn’t even have this episode last less time than this movie, which clocks in at just 65 minutes. Despite a great performance from Gaby Hoffman, the guys settled on a “stream” from Tim and an “av...

As far as “ Scream ” doppelgängers go, there was a lot of promise with this one: a respected director, a good cast, and a solid premise with themes tailor-made for a delicious slasher ripe with social commentary. Instead, real world politics, industry issues, a horrible title, and so much more left “ Cherry Falls ” a disjointed, bloodless, flop. The late Brittany Murphy salvaged the film just enou...

YEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWWWW! It’s a good ol’ get down this week with, not a slasher flick, but something that predates that: a splatter flick! “ Two Thousand Maniacs! ” also features the pure unadulterated insanity known affectionately as “redneck horror” that we kinda couldn’t get enough of. On top of all that, there’s an extra special twist that we did not see coming but loved nonetheless, leading...

What can be said about “Circle?” It’s a shape, it’s round, it has no true beginning or end… Well, ok none of those things really apply to this movie, which actually explores a really interesting concept from a social experimentation perspective. In the end though, if malevolent aliens came down to earth and made us systematically kill off every horror film we’ve watched, we’d have to pick “Circle”...

Back to 1961 we go for the acclaimed gothic ghost story that set the standard for women in nightgowns creeping around a dark manor holding a candelabra! Based on a play based on a novel, and co-written by the great Truman Capote, “ The Innocents ” took us into very interesting territory discussing: what is real and what is in our minds; AND how just a seed of an idea can send us down a spiral that...

What a time to be alive! Here we are in 2020, quarantined up, podcasting from home and dreaming of a day when we can take a random road trip with our friends to check out a roadside tourist trap (the titular type of attraction of this week’s film, “Tourist Trap”)! Now maybe we won’t encounter a mannequin-hoarding, dead-wife-obsessed, telekinetic psychopath with split personalities… but one can alw...

“ One Cut of the Dead” is a movie about the making of a zombie movie about a director making a zombie movie where actual zombies appear…(?) However you try to describe it, one thing is for sure: WE LOVED IT. It hit close to home for us filmmakers, is full of heart, and is a fresh take on the zombie sub-genre. There’s a reason this meta, fun-fest went from being a single-theater, indie release to a...

This week’s film is “ Alice, Sweet Alice ” starring BROOKE SHIELDS! No really, we’ve got Brooke Shields in this movie, it’s totally a movie with you guessed it…Brooke Shields! (to be clear, we aren’t actually that excited about her, but rather are making fun of how the marketing exploits her casting even though she’s hardly in it). The things that aren’t BROOKE SHIELDS that actually make up the mo...

This week we watched 1993’s “Dark Waters,” not to be confused with 2005’s “Dark Water” with Jennifer Connelly, or 2019’s “Dark Waters,” which is supposed to be good. We wish we could say the same for the film we actually watched which was... goooood??? It’s a weird one that left us with strange, mixed feelings. Even with cool creature design, and some compelling characters, it just never quite cam...

Wooooooooosh! What’s that sound? Oh, it’s nothing, just the “Demon Wind” coming over the hill to terrorize the strangest group of color-coded, twenty-somethings in a near incomprehensible and confounding story of unspecified horrors. Look, this movie is pretty bad, but dare we say just borders on “good-bad.” Not that it was enough to earn more than a “stream” from Tim and a “rent” from Ryan, but t...

Considering the insane amount of exorcism movie tropes found in “The Devil’s Doorway,” this (“found-footage”) film still managed to bring some genuinely fun and compelling moments, earning it a double “stream.” Is it great? No. Does it have a good beginning and ending? No. But somehow the meat and potatoes of this Irish tale—and the director’s ability to shine a light on a little-shone, upsetting...

The title “Bedevilled” really doesn’t give you a sense of the deeply intense story to come, but this film satisfyingly goes on to explore abuse and despair, and being trapped in our own insular worlds. When we do finally reach the violent breaking point, the long build up is well worth the wait. Our enjoyment of the eventual catharsis itself still barely scratches the surface of what this film has...

Well, we did it: we watched a film whose notorious reputation precedes itself. And let’s just say, we didn’t expect to have what some might call a “torture porn” evoke such an intense, philosophical conversation, but hey, that’s “Martyrs” for you! Don't be confused by our double “rent” ratings, for they are hearty ones; especially in thanks to how the film took us on such a fresh, unpredictable, a...

This week we tackle a film that pops up on the occasional horror list, but also toes the line between detective noir and supernatural thriller. “Angel Heart” has some exceptional elements, and although it may not have worked for us in every regard, we see why it has garnered a cult following. Mickey Rourke is… well, insane; insanely good! With “a special appearance by” Robert De Niro and his lusci...

Not only did we finally watch “Goosebumps,” a movie based on the book series near and dear to Ryan’s heart, but Tim managed to get through an entire episode without swearing (quite the feat you’ll know, if you’re a regular listener). Our first ever family-friendly show! Anywho… “Goosebumps” proved to be surprisingly well-executed and enjoyable, earning it a “rent” from Ryan until he has kids at wh...

Let’s not parse words here: this “sidequel” to the sequel to the remake of the third installment of the Japanese horror series is bad. Like really, really bad; like we both said to “avoid” it, like “give us our money back” bad. BUT, that doesn’t mean there wasn’t much to dismember. In fact, the dismembering is in full force, as we try to figure out how exactly the last two decades of the worst of...

DOUBLE “BUY” ALERT! That’s right folks, Tim and Ryan loved this week’s film so much that they both want it on their shelves. “From Beyond” is a mind-bending, head-twisting, pineal-gland-growing, trip of a film, with body horror and practical effects that scratched every itch we had. From the same people that brought us “Re-Animator” and “Society,” how could we not love it? Get in and get out as so...

If you could have seven wishes come true, one might wish for a couple of stupid things first. But once you realized they came with a price, just maybe you’d want to do more than wish away Ryan Phillipe’s chin-beard. “Wish Upon ” was full of dumb or just non-existent logic, dumpster-diving dads, jaw-droppingly unironic clichés, and what are apparently the most amazing curtain rods ever made... and...

For this week’s film, “Hide and Seek,” there was surprisingly little hiding and seeking (but maybe being a South Korean film, there was something lost in translation?). Despite some cool ideas and visuals, this one left us wanting to use the protagonist’s signature move of grasping desperately for a blunt object that’s just out of reach and smashing it over our own heads. In the end, neither of us...

Finally, some Cronenberg! Out the gate with his first feature we get “Shivers,” a delicious, parasitical commentary on sexuality, futurism, corporate utopia, Canadianism… Well okay, those are just guesses, but let’s be honest: there are some interesting ideas here (and some even more interesting kooky characters). AND of course, some gooey, bloody, creepy, fleshy, body-horror. So despite some glar...

What is it about Sam Neill going crazy? He’s just that good at it. John Carpenter picked the right lead guy for this week’s film, another lovely decent into well, madness; but this time with a fun meta spin! Not to mention some amazing creature design. “In The Mouth Of Madness” earned a “buy” from Ryan and a “rent” from Tim. Things get appropriately nutty in our discussion real fast, so we hope to...

What more could you ask for than an 1980’s slasher with Terry O’Quinn murdering multiple families? Nothing? Well good, because that’s what we got with this week’s film, “The Stepfather.” Maybe not the best piece of cinema we’ve experienced, but enjoyable on certain fronts nonetheless. With a “rent” from Ryan and a “stream” from Tim, we agree Mr. O’Quinn pretty single-handedly holds the film togeth...

ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH! We found out how true these words really are in the king of low-budget satire, Larry Cohen’s, “The Stuff.” It’s the tale of what happens when a mysterious, white goo bubbles up from the ground and some guy just goes ahead AND TASTES IT! But there’s more: the goo basically possesses you, eats you from the inside out, and… well, you get the picture. Despite (or more likely, b...