Discontent Provider

Even in the Happiest of Happy Places, the odd speck of ague and/or ennui can somehow insinuate themselves from time to time - hence the shocking lateness of this episode. This week sees Foxy and Arkham appalled - but not all THAT appalled - by the Prime Minister's French Leave, but decide that there are worse things about war-related ceremonies. 

Something of a chivalrous interlude in the lives of Foxy and Arkham this week as the chaps ransack the cupboards for tin trays, pots and pans, and a suitably massive colander in order to ride (well, ramble) to the defence of a lady whose temerity in not knowing her place has incurred the wrath of a bunch of cunts. They're about the most inept and bumbling Knight Errants imaginable - but they do cl...

This week, as the never-knowingly United Kingdom goes into premature meltdown over the General Election being called, the chaps in the Happy Place have their minds focussed upon matters that are - to all too many - FAR more pressing than which Centre-Right fuckstump will be giving Larry The Cat his dinner for the foreseeable future. They're talking Life and Death, cats and kittens - and the answer...

Though neither Foxy nor Arkham are what you'd call "shoppers" as such, the idea of browsing some carefully-curated political "retail items" held a dreadful fascination for them this week - so they marched up to Labour's counter, called "Shop!" and let Young Mr Starmer show them his wares... 

This week finds the grizzled Culture War veterans Sgts Foxy and "Mad Dog" Arkham parachuting into yet another dismal and more than usually grisly (It's a pun - well spotted) campaign. Just when they thought they could sit the damned thing out in relative peace, too. War is hell, cats and kittens - but unlike this rubbish, Hell only lasts for Eternity...

As the chaps wind up their dispassionate and forensic analysis of the 2024 Local Elections, a certain melancholy seems to have set in. Does it matter? What will the outcome be in the long-term? We've all enjoyed a malicious chortle - of that there is no doubt - and all the signs point to more to come; yet Foxy finds himself wondering if that's enough. Of course; he's always like that - and could h...

Fresh from voting, and as suffused with about as much excitement at having exercised that hard-won freedom as you might expect, Foxy and Arkham present the first instalment of a two-part Election Special. Is it too late to prevent computers from destroying Democracy? Could Captain Snort hold his own during widespread Civil Unrest? Will The Silver Fox get murderously drunk and do something profound...

Poacher turns gamekeeper this week - it's a figure of speech, we assure you - as Foxy casts off years of antipathy towards those that presumed to know better than him (they didn't) to stand up for teachers. Arkham - who has wisely avoided pedagogues of all kinds - preserves a dignified silence on the matter. Lucky bastard.

This week, the chaps consider the prospect of a Smokeless Future, Foxy tries a psychological experiment that may not be best suited to an audio medium, and both man and dog are left even more doleful than is customary by the thought that Parliament is little more than a posh kindergarten. CW: Listeners of a sensitive nature should be warned that the death-throes of a blues-harp do not make for com...

This week, Arkham and Foxy battle a 200-foot-tall cyborg with all lasers coming out of its eyes and that - it also has chainsaws for hands, and can create a sonic boom just by clearing its throat. That's not entirely true - but as this is the Internet, it appears that one can say pretty much anything one damned well likes because nobody ever checks up and nobody is really paying attention anyway. 

In what - quite unexpectedly and organically - turned out to be the finale of a trilogy of sorts, Foxy and Arkham decide that there are an awful lot of things that are genuinely best left alone - and would earnestly encourage you to do the same. It's sort of like that Simpsons Halloween episode when all the corporate mascots come to life - if you think about it, and if Real Life actually does work...

The usual theological Easter musings threaten for a while to distract the chaps from pursuing their avowed intent to tackle the Issues of the Day for a brief moment or two - but they're soon back on track, and ready to point out that what looks like another Government/donor fuckfest doesn't really matter (and may even contain a silver lining - a THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER lining, perhaps? Get that up...

This week, the chaps have the rare opportunity to reflect on some good news for a change, as it turns out that at least some ladies who got fucked by politicians during the 90s just might get better compensation than a few demeaning photo-shoots in the Lads' Mags. Meanwhile, however, things look pretty bleak for another group - will the public take up their cause with the same enthusiasm? AUDIO NO...

The chaps are definitely "on one" this week: is it the weather? Is it the tragicomedy of faux democracy? Did they get wound up by something on the television? It's all of those things, Podcast Pals - but it's so much MORE. It's the grotesque forelock-tugging of Royalists; it's the paucity of choice for anyone hoping for change; it's the transparent shitfuckery of a morally-bankrupt Government... S...

Having spent a few days lost in the far and frozen North, Foxy is even happier than usual to be back in the Happy Place - and even more ecstatic to be reunited with The World's Greatest Lurcher. None of that, however, softens the baleful gaze the chaps cast upon the dastardly disingenuous messages sent out by the UK Government regarding their latest Budget Statement - or anything else, come to tha...

Join two wide-eyed innocents lost in an impenetrable forest of deceptions, half-truths, and particularly toxic toadstools composed of utter rat-shit bollocks as Foxy and Arkham ponder the murky motives, mixed messages, and marvels of mendacity that resulted in a Parliamentary freakout this week. Apparently, nothing anybody says means anything or matters in the slightest bit - rather liberating, eh...

Some sort of techno-freak-out having wiped an episode from the face of the Earth, Foxy and Arkham were compelled to start the damned thing all over again - following a fearsome rage-frenzy, a consolatory bender, and a Titanic hangover, naturellement. As the subject of this week was the short-sighted idiocy and greed of people, however, it seems it's still relevant - the weekend having done nothing...

Fresh and raring to go following a painful and enforced hiatus from our regular communion with their Podcast Pals, The Silver Fox and the Black and White Dog are back to cast some much-deserved aspersions upon a Prime Minister who seems determined to "throw" as much "shade" upon anyone other than his voter base as is possible. They also find time to make light of a life-threatening condition or tw...

A slew of technical troubles have delayed this episode - which is particularly unfortunate, as it makes the deliberately "spontaneous" opening even more stilted and unconvincing than it was intended to be... Nevertheless, even one day late, the chaps' distaste for media hacks attempting to co-opt the death of innocents and the bereavement of their loved ones still rings true.

This week sees the chaps frantically scrabbling around to find and reattach their dropped jaws (fortunately, each mandible was restored to its original face - though Arkham's jawline would have done wonders for Foxy's ageing profile) at the arrogance of a Prime Minister calling yet another Big, Super Important Press Conference to brag to the UK about getting a little bit closer to doing something...

This week, Foxy and Arkham consider the lessons we've already learned from the Post Office scandal: it turns out that despite a rare shaft of optimism, said lessons turn out to be as hard and unpleasant as every games class ever conducted by a shit-thick PE teacher wrestling with either divorce trauma or an unresolved crisis of sexual identity.

Back from the Brink of Eternity following more than a week of feverish, delirious ravings, Foxy and Arkham are back at the Happy Place in 2024 - and ready to start with the usual feverish delirious ravings. Today, they're taking a quick butcher's at the Leader Of the Opposition's attempt to set out his Electoral stall. Did he REALLY say that trickledown economics don't work - or was that just a fl...

Not quite the thrilling and interactive live-streamed audio phenomenon for which many were hoping - but for all that, the chaps have some thoughts on the King's Speech to share with anyone inclined to emerge from their festive excesses long enough to listen to them. Would Buzz Lightyear be a better King than the one with which we're lumbered? Almost certainly. Come to think of it; even the little...

On their last visit to the Happy Place before the Big Day, Foxy and Arkham consider the decline in festive merriment and conclude that it's about as surprising as that present you found in a cupboard, opened, then carefully re-wrapped and received with feigned astonishment when you were a tiny tot. The Silver Fox also plunders his Santa's Sack of Song to unearth a Yuletide number from the past. He...

With one of the chaps trying to pretend they're not bitterly regretting their seasonal sartorial choices, podcasting's premier platonic power-pairing parse the public's politically-polarised post-mortem of THAT interview - and consider the possibility of doing something unprecedented in Discontent Provider's less-than-illustrious history. To have your say, email discontentprovider@gmx.co.uk OR pos...