Dirty Martini

join me as i reflect on how i am dealing with this new level of loneliness that i unlocked but more importantly - on how i was heavily influenced to burst with the irresistible urge to live and make the most of my short human existence

where do we even start?! a hot take on top of a hot take. money talks. painting. squid game. red note. banning tiktok (apparently for real this time?). and niche chronic online references. building them just like legos. episode 46. eliminated.

"new year, new me"? not quite! if you are wondering why your long "to do" lists don't just magically come true on the 1st of january, or if you are looking for some actually practical advice on how to achieve the things you set out to achieve in 2025, this episode is for you. i give you tried and tested useful insights on why we "fail" (+ my 2 cents on "failing") and how we can overcome the mental...

happy 2025! in a very me manner, we are kicking of the year with a yapping session about a travelling experience. for the first time ever in my life i was in 4 countries in one day, and boy was that something! form travelling alongside my high school bully and my bulgarianness being questioned by border control to being stranded in the belgrade airport and being forced to survive deutsche bahn. wh...

the last episode for 2024! one final existential crisis hurrah before we welcome 2025. and my mission is: put all the cards on the table and be transparent about my biggest struggle with podcasting yet. in this episode i set the tone for the future of this space and make myself promise to see meaning in the meaningless.

while some are celebrating the holidays, other are simply trying to survive them. this episode is dedicated to the latter. i know how difficult this time of the year can be for one reason or another. while my advice may not be revolutionary, it is ground in good intentions and care. i am sending you lots of love and strength to soldier through. you got this!

i would mourn the wicked. and i most likely would rip my pants in the process of it. and that just sums up the type of person i am (when i am awake, unlike in class, where i am fighting demons not to fall asleep or god forbid - cough!). i had so much fun recording this episode and it really took my mind off from my hectic environment.

from one pilates pink princess to another. let's talk while i still have my voice because this week has been testing me to my limits (not just voice-wise). how about i tell you about me losing my wallet. not once - but twice! and always mere hours before i have to leave the country! life is funny! and what is even funnier, if not simply just predictable - is my spotify wrapped.

wtf, i'm like bruh?! we are not in utrecht anymore! so let's all collectively hold space with the lyrics of defying gravity and your sexiest man alive's sexiest man alive. a massive shoutout to saintlaurentcowboy/sabrina carpenter/ed sheeran/charlie puth for taking over for t-dawg and creating such an emotional, fun, and horny experience. there is indeed no place like tour!

this episode in a nutshell? CHAOS. from start to finish. absolute chaos. from snow storms and tangerines to short n sweet and outer banks. buckle up because the single brain cell i have is making a really proud and loud debut.

oh boy, do we have a lot on our plates today (not walnuts, of course, unless in baklava!). let me walk you through a couple of things that single-handedly changed my life for the better, for good: from going to the turkish store and finding a proper block of feta cheese (iykyk), through recognizing that overwhelmingness and gratitude can coexist, to realizing how to do empathy correctly. who would...

MY BODY, MY CHOICE

a stuffy nose and 7 layers of clothing under a duvet - that's what i will embody for the next 3 months. nobody has made me feel as dismissed and as dismissible as my landlords have! even scrooge envies their greediness... but that's what i get for playing with dolls in 2008 and not buying property for a nickel. so see you in court! because when i said i love mickey mouse this is not what i meant!...

SOMEBODY CALL HR IMMEDIATELY! in this episode i decide to open up about my experiences with rude customers. from weirdness through harassment to xenophobia, i've seen a lot. and i am definitely not getting paid enough to deal with all of this! so can you not? pretty please, with a cherry on top? and the audacity to not tip me after what you put me through! just be kind and i promise not to spit in...

academic pressure and the weight of exams. we have all been there. but how does this manifest outside of school? how are your self-worth and self-perception affected by all of this? and how do we make sense of failure? and what is more - is there such a thing as failure? are we and our projects worthwhile only when "successful"? listen to this yap session to hear my two cents that nobody asked for

exhaustion, burnout, and anger. we cover it all. in this episode let's talk about how the devil couldn't reach me personally so he created uni group projects as a form of punishment. but more importantly, let's talk about the importance of sharing and speaking up when it comes to our mental health. if you or someone else is struggling, please don't hesitate to reach out to someone you trust. i pro...

hello everyone! join me in this episode where we talk about money, only fans, and sugar daddies. let's dive deep into the system of double standards that i have established and how it affects my sense of accomplishment and pride #DirtyMartini #Podcast #Episode #PersonalStories #MentalHealth #DoubleStandards #Money #OnlyFans #SugarDaddy #Accomplishment #Pride

welcome to dirty maritni's dirty thirty! what a privilege and excitement it is to have already created 30 episodes! i wanted this episode to be as special as possible which is why i am sabrina carpenting it all by talking nonesense. let me tell you about how i was attacked by a pigeon in my own home and had to deal with a cat intruder. i am on the verge of declaring a war to my neighbors. long liv...

spend some time with me talking about time! i share with you my theory on why time passes differently at different stages of our lives. i reflect on how covid took away two years of my life and since then i have been trying to catch up. what do you mean i am no longer "young and sweet, only 17"?! how???

what a rollercoaster of emotions! maybe the wine indeed was a bit too much but hey - grab a glass, drink responsibly!!!, and let's chat. i promise to cover it all - from coping with change through (the inability of) making friends in your 20s to feeling lost and foreign in a familiar environment. let's yap about being back in university, debunk societal pressure, and ask all the right ques...

in this episode i share the emotional consequences which i have had to deal with since the vienna eras tour was cancelled after the uncovering of terrorist attack plans. full of gratitude and fear, i reflect on what it means to be given a second chance at life and how the dismissive narrative around my feelings and experiences is affecting my healing journey. trigger warning: this episode contains...

i was in vienna for taylor swift's eras tour until the concert got cancelled because of a terrorist attack. in this episode i finally have the courage to unpack my fears and emotions after almost facing a gruesome brutal death. trigger warning: this episode contains topics such as terrorism, terrorist attacks, death, and the emotional repercussions which arose after nearly getting unalived #Po...

media scholar cap is on for this episode (the first one of a more educational yet personal series about the importance of media in our lives)! after sharing an emotional take on my own social media usage and my social media addiction, i answer the question of why is it that we actually use (social) media. i walk you through the fundamental theory which describes the motivation options of why you c...

ah guys, the moment we have all been waiting for! in this last part of the “my solo italian summer” series, we reach the culmination – my experience at the coldplay concert. simply a magical night that made me feel emotions i had never felt before! it was so beautiful that it overshadowed the little quarrel i had earlier in the day with an anti-european woman in the vatican (where i also accidenta...

welcome back to rome! let's talk about grasshopper phobias in the public transport and snoring hostel dormmates. in this episode i explain why the solo in solo traveling is so important and why, unlike me, you should always chose the comfortable shoes over the cute ones (and how this decision almost cost me my toe!)