The Dice Will Roll Crew
Dice Will Roll
Welcome to Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions, like... Is it cannibalism to eat a polymorphed chicken? Or is it morally okay to kiss a Goblin? What's the worst thing that could happen if we split the party? We're a group of four friends who team up every week to play Pathfinder and be hopelessly queer the whole way through! From getting 4 Nat 1's in a row, to standing up to the darkest forces of the multiverse- Dice Will Roll is here to Keep it Rollin'! Email: dicewillroll@gmail.com Get extra loot on our Patreon!
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The Dice Will Roll Crew
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Podcast website
Latest episode
Dec 23, 2025
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Episodes
Kingmaker Ep. 45: Barons & Babblings 14.10.2019 2:20:06
STORM THE CASTLE! The battle cry of so many brave heroes who're ready to die for a cause. Or, like in our case, the panicked yells of a group of adventurers who aren't quite as sneaky as they thought they were coming up with a Plan B on the spot. The Kingmakers are taking out the crooked leaders of Fort Drelev and freeing its people- but to do so, they need to take out the man behind it all, the M...
Kingmaker Ep. 44: Hags & Half-Bloods 07.10.2019 2:05:16
We've all dealt with pests in the basement before. Possums. Raccoons. Your greasy son who just won't stop playing video games and get a job. But Hags?! That's a different story altogether! The Kingmakers face off against a coven of Annis Hags and their wicked leader, Betty Rustfingers, in the cellar beneath the Drelev Keep. But who else resides in this castle of creeps? Giants? Guards? Cruel, calc...
Kingmaker Ep. 43: Puddings & Passageways 30.09.2019 1:59:42
A leader's duty is to serve their people, but in their greed, so many kings believe that their people are there to serve them instead. When that happens, it's time to revolt! The time to topple the Mad Baron of Fort Drelev is drawing near, and the Kingmakers must infiltrate his keep to depose him and the crooked nobility he lavishes with instead of saving his barony from the vicious barbarians tha...
Kingmaker Ep. 42: Grottoes & Guises 23.09.2019 1:58:06
Being an adventurer is easy! When you have a problem, just swing your sword at it until it dies. For example, say you're in a swampy cave, and a horrible tortoise creature rises from the depths and tries eat you. What do you do? Slash it with your sword! Simple stuff! But what about more complex problems, like sneaking into a barbarian infested town where everyone is looking to kill you? Swords wo...
Kingmaker Ep. 41: Serpents & Storytellers 16.09.2019 2:06:35
The best way to make friends with someone is to do something that they'll like. Usually that means offering to listen to someone's interests, maybe buy them a nice cake or something- but in the case of the Cruel, Swamp-Dwelling Goggard worshipers of a demon goddess, it's not so easy! Our heroes find themselves fighting off the cruel naga which had bewitched the priest-king of the Boggards in order...
Kingmaker Ep. 40: Fumbles & Frogfolk 09.09.2019 1:39:53
A mission of intrigue requires everything to go right. It takes skills, guts, and stealth to get in and out without being spotted. Or, alternatively, you could be infiltrating the caves of some grossly incompetent Boggards who have no real idea what they're doing. The Kingmakers wish for an audience with the Demon-worshipping Priest King Sopoko, and they don't want a fight- but unfortunately for t...
Kingmaker Ep. 39: Bog Mummies & Bullywugs 03.09.2019 1:47:21
Culture Shock! Whenever you visit a new place, you're bound to find a few customs you're unused to. But what's with everyone here in the swamp trying to drown us to please their assorted gods? Our heroes venture deeper into the murky Hooktongue Sloughs to investigate a barony conquered by barbarians and a clan of frogfolk that have been attacking travelers on the roads to their kingdom. But first,...
Kingmaker Ep. 38: Marshes & Marauders 26.08.2019 2:11:20
You know how the traditional saying goes- when someone sends an invasion force to conquer a small town on the border of our kingdom, we need to find out who's behind it, why they did it and how to stop them from doing it again. What, nobody says that? Well, they should! The Kingmakers are saddling up for an expedition into the Hooktongue Slough to investigate a mad baron, an undying barbarian and...
Kingmaker Ep. 37: Rivers & Raiders 19.08.2019 2:55:07
The Duchy of Kilcela has entered a period of peace and prosperity over the last year; the nation has expanded, its leaders risen in fame for their legendary feats and you know what? Tourism is doing pretty good too. But when a hearty meal in the idyllic town of Tatzylford is interrupted by a stranger baring a dire warning of impending doom, our heroes are faced with an unfortunate fact: when you g...
Kingmaker Ep. 36: Liches & Lairs 12.08.2019 2:52:51
It all ends here. After weeks of investigating horrors and heresy, the Kingmakers have finally found themselves face to face with the culprit of all the misfortunes which have plagued Varnhold and its people. An ancient, beyond powerful foe has risen, and with occult power that dwarfs our heroes by leagues, and if they don't do something to stop it, Kilcela and the rest of the world could be next....
Kingmaker Ep. 35: Crypts & Corpses 05.08.2019 1:59:48
Imagine your worst nightmare, and picture yourself facing it. Pretty bad, right? Now imagine that you not only have to take care of it yourself, but there's a spunky teen there, and you need to protect them too. Now you can imagine the kind of stress the Kingmakers are under! After rescuing a prisoner of the undead cyclopses from their captor, our brave heroes must now make their way deeper into t...
Kingmaker Ep. 34: Daemons & Doom 02.08.2019 2:15:18
Tombs. Standard adventure fodder. You go in, fight some skeletons, get the loot, leave and tell tale of your story. But this one feels... different. Our heroes must delve into the tomb hidden in a tall rock formation hidden deep in the mountains on the trail of the populace of the entire vanished city of Varnhold. Could this be where they went? What brought them here, to an isolated island deep i...
Kingmaker Ep. 33: Tengus & Tombs 29.07.2019 2:04:52
They say that there's no place like home, and you know what? Whoever said that was right. After fighting horrific soul eating Daemons, alien bug-monsters and living shadows, the Kingmakers are getting mighty worn out by all this terror and torture. Now as the snow of winter starts to come down and our heroes must trek into the forbidden canyons of the Valley of the Dead, they must face even more g...
Kingmaker Ep. 32: Obelisks & Omens 26.07.2019 2:07:36
En-route to the dreaded Valley of the Dead in search of answers into their ongoing investigation of the lost colony, our brave heroes are scaling mountains and wandering through the wilds. But after meeting a particularly unusual, plane-hopping ally in Zzamas the Phase Spider, an enormous arachnid with a human head and promises of treasure, they now find themselves face to face with an even more u...
Kingmaker Ep. 31: Specters & Spiders 22.07.2019 2:01:18
A lonely log cabin, isolated in the middle of a mountain range, not far from the site of a mass disappearance. Anyone who's watched horror movies ever should know to be wary of some place like this. Thankfully, horror movies weren't around in Fantasy Times! Yeehaw! The Kingmakers have encountered an unusual new friend- because hey, we've already gone so far, why not add a feral child to the mix? B...
Kingmaker Ep. 30: Centaurs & Cinders 18.07.2019 2:03:58
The Butler did it! Mystery solved! If only it was that easy. Our anxiety-ridden explorers search for answers in their ongoing investigation into the Varnhold Vanishing, armed with precious little knowledge, some shoddy testimony from unreliable faerie sources and an awful nightmare- not exactly the best clues in the world. As such, our heroes are tracking down the most likely suspects- an evil can...
Kingmaker Ep. 29: Spriggans & Screams 15.07.2019 1:53:20
They say not to judge a book by its cover, but maybe they should also say not to judge a gnome by its height! Our heroes have come across a camp of ghastly Spriggans- grey skinned, hairless gnomes with a tendency to make mountains out of molehills- and switch their sizes up to match! Are these deceitful foes the ones who caused everyone in the city of Varnhold to vanish? If so, how! Why! Where di...
Kingmaker Ep. 28: Villages & Vanishings 11.07.2019 1:39:44
Knock knock! Anyone home? No? Huh. When a single house does this, it's a normal afternoon- the residents might be out having a picnic, going on a hike, practicing wizardry or something. But when a whole city has been completely abandoned, with no sign of a struggle or even a hint of where they might have gone aside from a single ominous word carved into the the door of an inn, something's definite...
Kingmaker Ep. 27: Dukes & Dire Wolves 08.07.2019 1:47:28
Winter comes to the Duchy of Kilcela, a rising nation starting to gain fame around the Stolen Lands for its victories against the beasts and bandits which once plagued its lands. From the hilltop city of St. Gilmorg, to the farming town of Fangberry and even the village of Monsters, Sootscale Hill, our heroes have a fine kingdom at their hands. But as the natural beauty of the cold months roll in,...
Kingmaker Ep. 26: Tyrants & Titans 05.07.2019 3:06:05
For months, the Barony of Kilcela, a newfound nation of heroes and adventurers alike, has been harassed by a shadow of itself- Kongerike, the Kingdom of Monsters. Lead by Hargulka, the Troll King, Kongerike has sent wolves to hunt Kilcela's people, lizardfolk to kidnap its children and, most recently, attempted to invade and capture one of its towns. Today, Kilcela fights back. Leading an army to...
Kingmaker Ep. 25: Hermits & Hodags 01.07.2019 1:42:26
My mother always told me to help older folks, that they'd lived long lives and deserved respect. What does she expect me to do when the old man we just met in the woods is not only shrieking and cackling as he tries gut us with a sword, but also commanding his terrifying cryptid bull-dinosaur-lion monster thing to eat us alive?! En-route to scout out the villainous Kingdom of Trolls deep within th...
Kingmaker Ep. 24: Battles & Brutes 28.06.2019 1:51:53
A hero's job is to fight evil with your allies. A group of mercenaries duel against a dragon to steal its hoard. Explorers fight off hungry undead as they explore uncharted crypts. But when you're up against two dozen giant trolls with a hunger for destruction... m-maybe it's time for a bigger group to take them on? Our Kingmakers gather together to fight off the evil trolls of the wicked kingdom...
Kingmaker Ep. 23: Cults & Cavalries 24.06.2019 1:54:22
Do you ever see someone, and your heart just stops, and you know that this- this perfect being- this is what your whole life has been leading up to? All the pain, the anxiety, the stress of existing on this mortal plane, it was all worth it to meet this person? That's what it's like to look at a horse. Ecstatic over new inhabitants of the Barony of Kilcela and the treasures they bring with them, o...
Kingmaker Ep. 22: Rage & Ruins 20.06.2019 1:52:46
Sibling rivalries suck! But there really is a difference between your sister stealing your shirt and your brother rising from the dead to slay you for not burying you with his legendary sword. What a jerk, right? Get over it! You don't even need the sword anymore! Why not allow some daring adventurers raid your tomb and keep it for themselves? Our heroes are here for the Sword of the Cairn, and th...
Kingmaker Ep. 21: Moms & Monsters 17.06.2019 1:30:18
There are several truths in this world. When something goes up, it must come down. Everything that has a beginning also has an end. When your mom says she wants to do something, you must do so. Well, okay, the last one isn't necessarily universally applicable, but in the case of one of our dear heroes, it certainly is! Challenged with bringing the mother of our Half-Orc fighter out into the wilds...
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