Delusions Of Grandeur

"Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam..." We are gathered here today to witness a Wookie wedding (humans: DO NOT DRINK THE BOOZE, YOU WILL DIE). Despite being surrounded by love, flying the ship of his dreams, and enjoying a moderate amount of smuggling success, Han Solo does not want to get married. Unfortunately, he also doesn't really want to talk about his feelings. So...

But soft! What light through yonder airbrush breaks -- it is the east, and the book is A.C. Crispin's Rebel Dawn . We're creeping closer to to the moment Han and Chewie walk through the cantina doors in Mos Eisley, but for now we have several scheming Hutts, Chewie romancing his lady friend with some fresh porcupine, and everyone converging on beautiful Cloud City, Bespin -- Han and Lando to play...

Han Solo is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting. Join Zoom Meeting huttp://webdotzoomdotcorellia/YT492727ZED Meeting ID: YT492727ZED Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Chewie contemplates the true meaning of a Wookie life debt after an incredibly annoying car ride with his human, Han finds out the perils of competency as he is sent to bribe yet another Imperial commander...and that he loves being on stage, even when not in a sparkly bodysuit. Bria finds out the Imperial Moff she's hitched her wagon to has lost his mind. Hutts continue to Hutt as battles and pois...

Everything seems to be coming up Han. Boba Fett hasn't shot him with a butt-dart in months. After being dumped by his close-magic girlfriend, he finds a new lady in a Corellian bar (and this new lady doesn't make him wear spangly bodysuits). His buddy Lando bought a shipyard with life-crystal money and leases Han and Chewie their very own ship!! (So what if it's a total lemon and not the Falcon?)...

Where to BEGIN. Han and Chewie are living in a shitty apartment and driving a giant space bus while on the run from many a bounty hunter when they end up taking a quick jaunt to Kessel to escape from a very handsy lady Wookie. A.C. Crispin does her level best to explain why you might measure the Kessel Run in parsecs...and more importantly, how Han is, of course, a natural at flying through astero...

Smash cut to our next book...and one Han Solo, recently kicked out of the Imperial Navy after five years of faithful (?) service. He's getting very drunk in a bar and getting very nostalgic about his cool Corellian pants while he tries to get rid of an annoying Wookie who won't stop following him around. It's a good thing Chewbacca did adopt this rescue human at the shelter though, because Han spe...

Han and Bria head to Corellia, where they have an incredibly awkward long weekend with her family ending in Han getting recognized as the swoop champion of all Corellia by Bria's ex. To be fair, he seems hella stoked she's sleeping with such a good swoop pilot. Then it's off for an even more disastrous mini break on Coruscant that ends with Han (failing at) robbing a bank, Bria realizing she needs...

The action's really pickin' up, pardners. Han and Muurgh both race to rescue their respective partners from horrible, cult-based slavery with some tastefully designed explosions. Also, they stuff a bunch of antiques into a backpack, do some fancy flying, attend a space-cat wedding, and have some tastefully off-screen sexy times. Plus, we ask: what do we read next? Join the Patreon for early episod...

Emily gets her laptop back. Han Solo does some hand smoochies and gets a reluctant mud bath. Bria gets high and realizes her religion is a sham. Muuurgh plots a murder and goes for a run.

This episode is coming to you late as Emily's solar panels got connected to the grid. We are proud to say that makes Delusions of Grandeur a bi-coastal and (theoretically) carbon-free production thanks to two roofs full of spook crystals! But back to the book: our intrepid hosts describe a whole lotta drugs as Han learns more about the world he's found himself on -- and how the whole 'religion' th...

Welcome to a new book, a new trilogy, and some classic Dickensian capers! We've got a young Han [neé Solo], some bleak living conditions, a gang of juvenile pickpockets, brutal adults, furry best friends slash 'bodyguards', and a Bel Iblis cameo. Join us as we uncover the true story of how Han Solo became the galaxy's premier grump by the ripe old age of 29...ish. Join the Patreon for early episod...

Gather 'round, fellow #GilroyGirls. In response to the INJUSTICE of Andor Season 2's Emmys snubs, we bring you this special episode where we yell about all that we loved about Andor (both seasons) and what we thought was missing and what we could have done without. *Not actually four hours **Ended up being about more than just Bix Tyranny got you down? Find one of our favorite Andor meme-makers on...

Our resident cop/fighter jock races to rescue his wife and tie up many an outstanding plot point with a mere 7 chapters of runway. He and Elegos team up as space Batman and Alfred as they spook a bunch of superstitious pilots into panic calling Tavira -- and almost get rumbled when Corran finds himself sprinting through the city buck naked and clutching a lightsaber. Their plan works, and Tavira a...

Boy howdy, folks. After juping around in space, Corran gets into a fistfight with the concept of Dark Side/his annoying rival and meets a very interesting twice-dispossessed refugee. In a just galaxy he would then be sent straight to horny jail after an interrogation by Admiral Tavira turns into a blood-soaked make out sesh. Alas, we do not read in a just galaxy. This leads our hosts to ponder the...

Corran makes nice with some of the Invids by bringing them that fancy shuttle they were trying to steal, starting a months-long (!?!) project of working his way up the ladder to get onto the Invidious as crew and find Mirax. His new wingwoman tells him there's two ways: fancy flying or fucking the captain. In this fic, Corran chooses the flying, which brings him face to face with Rogue Squadron......

The Horn boys do some gardening (revealing a whole bunch of Jedi secrets under a pile of literal bullshit), then go out to dinner at Corellia's fanciest new molecular gastronomy restaurant, much to Corran's delight. But big steaks and big secrets make for bad dreams, and Corran wakes up determined to go back to his old self to save his wife. Conveniently, that was the guy who went undercover with...

After making a terrible executive decision that lacerates his kidneys, Corran IDGAF Horn is rescued from Exar Kun by his Verbally Confirmed Friend Mara Jade. The other Jedi do some magic or something and Exar Kun gets Exar-cised. Don't think about it too much — Corran doesn't. Luke wakes up from his coma (or was it the nap he was actually looking for all along?), pardons genocidal maniac Kyp Durro...

Much happens in these chapters, a lot of it off screen for Jedi Academy (and maybe copyright?) reasons. Luke falls into a Sith-induced coma! Corran and R2 engage in light espionage! Leia sweeps in looking like a hero of the Rebellion! Han Solo cooks a delicious meal and abandons his family! And we see one strong advantage the books have over the movies as Kyp destroys Carida and our apprentices fe...

Things are heating up on Yavin 4. Mara Jade arrives in a tasteful jumpsuit, only to have her car jacked almost as soon as she parks. Rough neighborhood! Now, she is forced to hang out with her cool friend's meathead husband for a whole week. Corran's various investigations aren't going particularly well, but he does use his skills as a Corellian to cook everyone a succulent Yavanese meal . And wha...

Corran shows up late to class on the one day someone's trying to kill Luke Skywalker -- who seems weirdly unconcerned that one of his students came at him with a freshly built lightsaber. He is more concerned when Gantoris and said lightsaber are found freshly Force barbecued, alone in his room. Finally, Corran has a chance to shine...as a detective and a TA. Not so much as a Jedi. Most unfortunat...

This is a fun set of chapters, although not a lot of plot happens. Corran comes to terms with the fact that although he can run really, really far, he is not a "boy genius" when in comes to the Force -- and might actually be the most repressed sentient on the planet. Slowly, he comes to trust his fellow students and his own emotions (on a good day). But he also worries he will be seduced by a woma...

Wedge drives like a maniac across Coruscant and we get some glimpses of the Imperial Palace (tacky!!!), as well as the successful Force-based therapy practice Luke Skywalker could have run if he wasn't so obsessed with being a Jedi Master. He and Wedge agree: the way to get Mirax back is for Corran to become a Jedi. Corran isn't totally convinced until he listens to an old voice mail from his dead...

The chat has spoken and we dive in to the first few chapters of I, Jedi -- which (as advertised) is a first person account of being a Jedi. Luckily for us, that first person is Corran Horn: noted fighter pilot, recovering narc, short king, and galactic-level grump doing his best Sam Spade impression. We follow Corran as he battles space pirates, his own insecurities over becoming a father, and wat...

Our intrepid hosts valiantly struggle against a sinus infection and the city of Denver to bring you the THRILLING CONCLUSION to the NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SAGA of The Crystal Star. The twins escape with the help of the true star of this novel, Mistress Dragon. Leia, Chewie and their new friend Rallao consult an elephant who never forgets (the name of any being enslaved in the galaxy) and have...