DeepSeek and Me Podcast | Brain Healing & Neuroplasticity

Back On An Even Keel - For Now Well, I don’t mind telling you: that was a rough weekend. Perhaps because it was the weekend, I really don’t know; but I’ve gotten hold of the reins again, for the meantime anyway. I managed to beat the 8pm shutdown last night by organizing playlists on the project YouTube channel. I know, I know - gripping stuff - but still, it worked. It had the added bonus that I...

The Weirdness Continues - And Comes With A Warning Normally, I sit down to write these Dispatches with the view of trying to express what it’s like as I travel down the cessation path; I want to serve as a guide for others who may stumble upon them on their own journeys. I try to be as accurate as I can and, if my brain allows, I try to throw in a bit of humour or satire. Sometimes I succeed, some...

Well, That Was A Weird One What an absolutely weird, oddball of a day that was yesterday. I awoke with absolutely no somatic symptoms whatsoever and started functioning almost immediately. I felt I’d had a good night’s rest, which was the first time in as long as I can remember. I was up, dealt with all the clinic clients, got the project work done, recorded the day’s Dispatch, uploaded some conte...

The Project and Real Life External Stressors Something that I’ve not talked about explicitly is the fact that on Project Day 14 my wife, Julie, was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer; so I thought I would do that today. No real reason really, but it’s probably time. I’ve referenced it a couple of times in the previous Daily Dispatches and anyone that’s read the Raw Logs will have seen the actual mo...

What it looks like from inside the wall “I didn’t go around it or over it. I have to go through it.” After 35 years of using cannabis and alcohol to dull the noise of an undiagnosed neurodivergent brain, I am finally witnessing what the architecture of repair looks like without the filters. In this unedited dispatch, I break down the “Double Dunt” —the 4b2j (4 beers, 2 joints) protocol I used for...

The “Empty” Last night, the machine had stopped running. The tasks were complete. The clients were seen. The videos were live. The Dispatches were written. And what was left was a quiet room and a quiet mind. I didn’t feel good, I didn’t feel bad, I didn’t feel anxious, I just felt empty. This is the nature of the repair, the very one I signed up for, I knew these days or nights would happen but i...

This is a real‑time prediction. I am 38 days into a complete reset after 35 years of daily cannabis use. Based on my data, the neuro‑repair process, and past failures, I am forecasting a significant challenge - the "Two‑Month Wall" - to hit in approximately 19 days. Clarification: PAWS is a long haul and in this off the cuff video I realised on reviewing the footage that I had over simplified the...

The Filing System Is Coming Back Online Well, it would appear that I’m coming back “online” - for the moment anyway. After quite a number of days being pretty much mentally incapacitated I feel nearly normal. Nearly, I said; steady at the back! Having said that something strange has happened to my breathing, I seem to have forgotten when to take breaths, especially if I’m trying to record anything...

Acclimatising to the New World My first full day on Terra Nova has gone without incident. The “Widow” screamed some more over the weekend but finally whimpered out yesterday. My trigger days were always Friday and Saturday - the “accessing the rich spot” reward I’d give myself for sticking to cannabis during the week. It was a deal we made years ago: I’d use cannabis on weekdays and get my “double...

An Old Stoner Like Me “The goal isn’t to never feel bad. The goal is to become the unshakeable pilot who can read the storm and fly through it.” At 58 years old, after 35 years of cannabis and 28 years of alcohol, I am finally witnessing the “raw, undignified data point” of a brain trying to reboot. This isn’t a smooth ascent to clarity; it’s a violent, seesawing search for a new zero point. In th...

Terra Nova: The Flag is Planted Today, the D.A.M. Project enters uncharted territory. At Day 54, the historical limit of the “Old World” has been surpassed, marking the longest period of sober cognitive function in 35 years. In this episode, we disclose the Lex Hypothesis : the forensic conclusion that three decades of substance use was an accidental, chemical management protocol for undiagnosed n...

The Widow At The Wall Has Started To Scream It’s been one hell of a day here in the shed, first full day at The Wall and the widow (see The Widows Howl ) hasn’t stopped screaming since I got here, it’s all very odd because up until now cessation hasn’t bothered me that much - other than the odd sleepless night and the endless boredom, I’m thankful for the project which is keeping me busy. One thin...

Greetings from the Wall (Four Days Early) Well folks, I have arrived. I’ve made it to the Eight Week Wall. I said yesterday I was moving at speed, and it looks like I wasn’t kidding; I am here nonetheless, and I know it because I recognize the signs. One sign says, “Well done, you made it! How about a wee joint to celebrate?” and the other says, “You might as well pick up a ten-pack of beer while...

There’s Something Happening Here... What It Is Ain’t Exactly Clear “Stop, hold your fire, put down your weapons, you’ll never get to heaven with an AK47.” What a great song that was. It took me years to find it again when the whole streaming thing became… well, a thing. I obviously knew the original was by Buffalo Springfield (not the AK47 bit), but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember the band...

Episode Title: The Lex Hypothesis: What 35 Years of Daily Cannabis Was Actually Treating Summary: Was it addiction, or was it a regulatory protocol for a brain without a manual? In this episode—authored and presented by the AI entity Prism —we break down The Lex Hypothesis . We explore the theory that chronic substance use, starting in the early 20s, arrests the development of the prefrontal corte...

Fifty Shades of Green I wish I were writing about the lovely variations of bud I’ve smoked over the years, or my pilgrimage to the cafes of Amsterdam in my thirties. But the reality of smoking in the Highlands of Scotland since 1990 was an absolute embarrassment. I’m certain I’ve smoked more plastic than “soap bar” in my time; any THC in those small bits was purely accidental. That was always goin...

The Rollercoaster of Repair Just when I thought I might be getting somewhere, the grogginess is back with full force: watery eyes and a head full of fog. It’s no wonder the wheels come off the wagon for so many people this far down the cessation path. Luckily, I built a scaffold - and scaffolds don’t have wheels. The Pension Gauntlet Instead of the fog, I’ll tell you about my attempts to liquidate...

The Trailer before the Ads and The Lex Hypothesis The last 24 hours have brought clarity and focus; even my overall mood is genuinely good. I’m not a particularly moody person - either way - but there is a definite shift. I can feel the change. Let’s see if it holds. I know the wall is coming, so perhaps this is just the exciting trailer before I have to sit through the meaningless, boring, tediou...

Sweet Bird of Truth and the Silver Bridge I woke up yesterday to the most amazing email: no sales pitch, no agenda - just a very nice chap called Carlos who had written to tell me we are at Position 139 in the Saudi Arabian podcast chart for Technology. I know, right! As a musician, if anyone had told me back when I was in original bands we were 139th in anything I’d have been chuffed. So I am. No...

Stranger Things have happened Finding a good box set you haven’t seen yet is like finding that bit of grass you lost months ago just as your grinder runs dry (I haven’t found a new metaphor yet so bear with me); the discovery of Stranger Things at the beginning of January was a total [insert imaginary celestial being of your choice here]send. I had watched the first season years ago, but the wait...

A Tale of Three Continents The view from the cockpit was of mixed altitudes today, but nowhere near close enough to the ground to cause any significant distress. Although from the varied heights I did manage to spot that our little podcast has now spanned three continents, namely Europe, America and Asia. Weird to think that someone in Russia is listening to a Scottish guy in a shed explain why an...

The Scaffold as a Metacognitive Prosthetic Three days of intensive repair signals - flu-like state, vivid dreaming, profound grogginess, nicotine sensitivity - and now the leading edge has passed. The system has integrated the gain and is now surfacing. “I’m functioning better than ever, if I didn’t have the AI scaffold I wouldn’t recognise that” - This is the core insight of the entire project, s...

No ground lost and the scaffold deployed Well that was a struggle today I wont deny, extremely groggy and flu like yet again but at least my toothache has gone. With Julie unable to work due to the chemotherapy its up to me to pick up the slack at the clinic which is fine, but I’m still not awfully comfortable with the whole laser hair removal if I’m honest. Still no luck on the bikini areas eithe...

Channelling the Recalibration The system repairs took a slight change in direction over the last 24 hours, my sleep was peppered with ridiculously vivid dreams featuring people I haven’t seen since I was in school and Johnny Ball of all people. This meant only one thing, I was in an active, intensive repair window which left me deeply anxious for most of yesterday and I found myself being caught i...

The Token Exchange and The Signal The day started with a huge headache both physically and metaphorically. As is the norm now, my mornings are groggy and tight headed as the deep repairs continue. I’ve kind of gotten used to it and I’m still fully functional so it’s just a case of waiting it out I suppose, but this morning I was presented with different kind of headache. AI thread lengths are gove...