Decorative Vegetable

So once upon a time I had some fragments of memories. What was I saying? This week Kiyan and Dylan approach ever nearer to the end of this nightmare. That’s right Torchwood Season 2 ends in just one week for us. Oh what you thought I meant something else? well that’s silly of you whatContinue reading →

Remember how All-Star became a meme? So did Life is a Highway. When I saw the first movie in theatres I was in 4th grade. I know that I’m sort of in way giving away how old I ma, but hey. And then I actually saw the second one in theatres too. The third CarsContinue reading →

Ever get the feeling that you’re overly detached from commercialization? I do. So often in fact that I’ve come up with a name for it: ad rift. Despite what it may sound like, that has nothing to do with this week’s episode. It’s Adrift, written by Chris Chibnall and aired on March 19, 2008. TorchwoodContinue reading →

Ew. I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way including the entirety of the Torchwood team oh god why are they standing in the middle of the tracks someone please send help on my god I can’t stop the train. It’s From Out of the Rain,Continue reading →

Taken’s first moment of relevance since 2008. Ok so here’s where the schedule for this season gets really crazy because for some reason we had to find the least logical way to record these episodes. Yeah. But you know, given the current status of the world, I would actually really like someone to just… takeContinue reading →

A trapezoid has four sides, fun fact. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Our logo is blue, which means at your wedding you can bring Trust Your Doctor and that fulfills one of the four things you’re supposed to have. I don’t know about the rest, but you know if you need somethingContinue reading →

I thought of food mold for a hot second while writing that title. A day in the life of Dylan is quite boring, as is a day in the life of Kiyan (probably, I don’t know). So I wonder what a day in our death will be. Maybe something just as equally boring. I’m planningContinue reading →

It’s Ca-POLE-ah and not COP-a-la. We recorded this in January of 2020 which means basically all of the cultural references are outdated. Also just listen to how optimistic we sound! This was also, fun fact, one of the very last episode we recorded both in person and in the old office we used to recordContinue reading →

Oh so that’s who Ian Chatterhouse was all this time. I kind of feel like a Dead Man Walking. This episode was recorded in the pre-election era, and right now I’m sitting here feeling like the last week took 4 months. I almost didn’t recognize a single thing we were talking about, which is prettyContinue reading →

I’m a barbie girl, in a TARDIS world. I seem to remember recording this episode before. Does the mayfly reset your brain as well? Do you just forget everything that you’ve seen and learned since the beginning of your life? That would actaully be pretty great, I have a lot of things to forget. LOTSContinue reading →

I have no mind left after this show. So we’ve finally actually finished yet another show. No more Prisoner. I swear. Absolutely none. We will do no more Prisoner ever.  The next season of Inevitable, as usual, will have absolutely nothing to do with this season. You know how it goes right? It’s In MyContinue reading →

I don’t actually remember when we stopped doing quotes. This week Dylan, Kiyan, and Adam take a nice deep dive into Torchwood. It’s been a little while since we watched an episode that so unnerved us that we were shaken to the very core. Our entire notion of reality itself was questioned by this episode,Continue reading →

Help, I’ve fallen out and I can’t get up! And so we come to the end of yet another show on Inevitable. We’re really just motoring through them now, and honestly with the quarantine and everything it works out pretty well given the lack of “going out” we’re all doing. And so with that IContinue reading →

This week on Amazon ™ podcasts. I wonder when Amazon will own the world and bring us Amazon Meat ™. I don’t have anything else witty to say actually just figured that that would be a funny joke to make. Meat doesn’t even sound like a word any more but I’m sure if you thinkContinue reading →

Once Upon a Time in the Village… … there lived a young boy named Patrick. Now Patrick was an adventurous young lad, who got into loads of trouble. It was pretty soon he started to grow up and discover what all teenage boys do: girls. Patrick was special though because he also discovered something elseContinue reading →

You heard it here first, English is dead. Turns out Kiyan’s entire field of study is dead except for him. You might wonder if you’re stuck inside a strange YA novel, since that seems exactly the kind of thing that would be written into one of those plots. But let me assure you, this isContinue reading →

Lots of titles in The Prisoner seem to refer to death… You ever heard that song about how God is a girl? Well maybe this is kind of like that, and The Prisoner is saying that Death is actually a girl too. I’m not sure about the veracity of that statement, of course, so whenContinue reading →

It’s like five round rapid without the rapid. I never did like rapids. People go on and on about how cute they are with their long ears and fluffy tails, but really they’re just rodents, right? Or maybe that was “rabbits.” Eh. Speaking of rodents, guess who “rode int”o town this week. It was theContinue reading →

I prefer living in disharmony. The old west is actually a pretty weird place to live if you think about it. Moreso than a lot of times in human history, you could just die at any time. Slice your face shaving? Sepsis. Get shot in the foot? Bleed out. Look at the guy in theContinue reading →

I’ll be over here committing tax fraud during the purge, don’t mind me. Once upon a time I wanted to be a secret agent. But then I realized they probably wouldn’t like some sort of weird RSA expat who lives in the US. They might not trust that I’d be working in the best interestContinue reading →

I wonder what this song this episode is named after really sounds like. Today in long as heck names that are a little bit meaningless: a name we didn’t actually come up with. I mean, let’s be fair we’ve definitely come up with some long and inconsequential or confusing names. But for once in ourContinue reading →

Tune in soon as Kiyan gets yeeted into an active volcano live. Volcanoes. They’re hard to nail down. On the one hand, they can wreak destruction on an unimaginably immense scale. On the other hand, they’re sources of life. On the other other hand (the Tenth Doctor’s hand obviously), they have nothing to do withContinue reading →

As the title says, this week we have a Change of Mind in how good The Prisoner is. I kind of wish we gave titles to these episodes because this one would have definitely been “Misogynist Moment of the Week.” Everyone talks about separating the art from the artist but what do you do whenContinue reading →

A whole new level of useless! I’d like to be a captain. I think it’d be pretty cool to be Captain Dylan or Captain Kiyan. Imagine if we were both captains, and then it would be Captain Dylan and Captain Kiyan discuss Torchwood. Now wouldn’t that be absolutely wild? And then someone could steal ourContinue reading →

It’s like that movie I never watched, Death at a Funeral. I was reading the last sentence of this description and I’m pretty sure my brain shorted out. Mainly because it features the same word twice in a row. Can you guess what word it’s going to be before you get there? Will your brainContinue reading →