Dear Sugars

If someone smokes pot multiple times a day, but is still a highly functional partner, parent, and worker — is there a problem? That's the question to the Sugars from a letter writer whose husband has been a habitual marijuana smoker for years. If it is a problem, she wonders, is it his or hers?

The Sugars try something new — answering more questions, more quickly. While they always give their hearts and souls to the letters they receive, some questions are just a little more straightforward. The Sugars take on six quick questions, from siblings discovering incriminating texts on their father's phone to women reeling from encounters with sociopaths to this single sentence — "what do I do...

The Sugars are taking this week off, to focus on answering new letters. We'll be back next week, but in the meantime, we revisit this conversation about the traumas of our past and their role in our present.

The Sugars grapple with a difficult question — how do we make sense of the fact that very bad things can happen to people who have done nothing wrong? They take letters from a visual artist who has just learned he is losing his sight, and from a woman whose life has been transformed by her daughter's life-threatening condition.

The Sugars exploration of infidelity culminates in Part 3, a conversation with Esther Perel. The relationship therapist is focusing her attention on the subject of infidelity - what it is, why we do it, and what it means to us. They also take a question from a married man who longs for lost intimacy with his wife, while also engaging in multiple affairs on the side.

The Sugars exploration of infidelity continues with Part 2: The Betrayers. They take letters from a desperate wife, whose husband gave her a second chance after an emotional infidelity, only for her to do it again; and from a young mother who has gotten herself tangled up with the next-door neighbor after years of unhappy marriage.

The first in a multi-part exploration of infidelity. In Part 1, the Sugars consider letters from the Betrayed; in Part 2, they'll consider the Betrayers. They're also joined by the writer and performer Lauren Weedman, who experienced one of the more nightmarish clichés of infidelity, and tells the story.

Dear Sugar Radio is taking off Labor Day 2015 weekend. We'll be back next week with new episodes. In the meantime, we're reposting this episode from March 2015, "How Do I Survive The Critics?" with special guest George Saunders. We thought, going into the new school year, it's a good time to revisit the topic — how do we handle judgment about our work, even the harshest criticism?

There are those moments in all of our lives — sudden and radical — when we get spun around and everything feels out of our control. The Sugars take questions from two letter writers who have come to such moments.

The Sugars take a question from the mother of young twins. Her own mother left when she was two years old, and her stepmother was a controlling and manipulative presence in her life. The letter writer is afraid that these toxic experiences being mothered make her destined to fail as a mother.

In this episode, the Sugars take a question from a young woman whose boyfriend recently broke up with her because of questions about his sexuality. The letter writer is heartbroken and confused — and trying to figure out what it means and whether to wait around while he figures it out.

The Sugars take a question from a young woman who takes great pleasure in socializing. Her fiance, on the other hand, dreads group settings and gets very agitated every time she wants to go to an event together. She wonders what is so unpleasant for him about spending time with her and her friends.

In this episode, the Sugars take questions exclusively from teenagers. They answer two letters that get at the universal themes of adolescence — the sense of being alone, the fear of being left out, the desire to please others — and one letter from a teenager for whom outside forces have marked her teenage experience as different from her peers. The Sugars are joined by Tavi Gevinson, the 19-year-...

The Sugars take a question from a young man whose mother has metastatic breast cancer. He is spending a month back home in Kentucky over the summer, then returning to graduate school in the fall. He is wracked with guilt about not being with her, but also at the thought of her dying without knowing who he really is — a gay man in a family where homosexuality has always been condemned.

Love is complicated in the digital age. Many of us go online in search of connection, but those interactions often leave us feeling profoundly disconnected. The Sugars take on two questions that explore different ways in which we try to connect online - one from a married woman who finds herself caught up in an illicit relationship on Facebook, the other from a young woman who is obsessed with tra...

The Sugars take a question from a young woman whose best friend since childhood is about to get married to a man she's known for only six months. The two friends are very different, and the letter writer worries that her impulsive, drama-prone friend is rushing into another bad situation. She wonders whether to confront her. The Sugars are joined by the author Ann Patchett

In this episode, the Sugars take a question from a young woman who came to the United States as an 11-year-old undocumented immigrant. After years of uncertainty and limbo, she is now poised to become a citizen, but wonders how she can ever make up for the time she lost. The Sugars are joined by the Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Ruben Vives, who grew up under similar circumstances.

The Sugars take on a letter from a young woman who is a habitual liar — telling her friends about imagined experiences of rape and loss. The lying always seems to happen at a moment of emotional connectedness, when the letter writer wishes to share her feelings of sadness and depression, but struggles to find the right language to do so.

We all know the narrative of the good father. That's the father we all want, but it's not the father we all got. The Sugars take two questions on fatherhood — from a new father who fears that his depression will be felt by his baby daughter, and from a young woman who yearns for a deeper connection with her distant father.

Money makes us crazy. In this episode, the Sugars take questions from two letter writers struggling with complicated relationships to money. The first, an aspiring playwright, feels guilty about all the advantages that her parents' wealth has provided to her. The second, a divorced mother, is unable to control her spending and on the verge of bankruptcy.

In this short episode, the Sugars take a question from a young woman who is engaged to the man she's been with since she was 19. As a child of divorce, whose parents were married young, the letter writer knows that there are risks.

Are we ever able to fully let go of our past? The Sugars address a letter writer grappling with that essential question. At 68 years old, she is troubled to recognize that her life is still being influenced by her early experience with an alcoholic father. The Sugars are joined by a Freudian psychoanalyst, who also happens to be Steve's father.

Entering into another family is like entering into another culture — with its own codes, expectations, and set of rules. Naturally, it's a situation ripe for conflict and contention. The Sugars field questions from two letter writers dealing with fraught in-law relationships.

The Sugars take a question from a woman in her forties who lives a second life. She is known as a professional, PTA-going mom — but she's secretly sleeping with significantly younger men. She's beginning to question whether her behavior is healthy. Meanwhile, her "real" life is in a state of crisis.

Friendships are different from any other type of relationship in our lives. They are purely voluntary, and so can feel more tenuous. Do you tell a friend if you are unhappy with the relationship, or do you just leave? And if you do leave, how do you break up with a friend? In this episode, the Sugars field questions from two letter writers who both feel exhausted by a friendship, and want out.