Dear Shandy

Jealousy is a beast of a topic, so we thought long and hard about who to help us tackle it. Shandy brought the big guns: who better to talk jealousy than the woman who quite literally WROTE THE BOOK on open relationships? We're thrilled to welcome Janet W. Hardy, the co-author of The Ethical Slut, the iconic guide to polyamory that was first published in 1997 and is now on its 3rd edition. As some...

It's Q&A time! We're back in the living room, ready to answer more of YOUR burning questions. 🔥 What are Shandy's tips to help to keep the spark alive in long term relationships? How soon should you know if the person you're with is "The One", and how much do age and experience play a role in "Knowing"? If you're unhappily married, and if divorce is Door #1 and a life of unhappiness is Door #...

It's Love Fest time! 🎉 Today we're joined by newly engaged lovebirds Derek Peth and Saffron Vadher! These two are on the private side, so we're thrilled they agreed to come on and share their relationship with us in true double date fashion. Derek and Saff can usually be found in NYC, but today, they join us from their house in Iowa. They share the serendipitous story of how they met (spoiler ale...

It's Caller Day! If you were at dinner and your date left abruptly, claiming illness, would you read into it? At what point is showing concern too generous? And, is there such a thing as being too young to consider marriage? Does wanting a big wedding—one you'd need to save up for—mean your marital priorities are all wrong? If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com Sub...

We wanted to do something a little different to celebrate New Year's Eve (and the end of 2020!). So today, inspired by Episode 1 (How We Met), we're doing another throwback: we're going back in time to 2014, to what happened after Shandy met, and how (and when) Andy eventually proposed. Watch on to hear his thought process, how he chose the ring (and whether or not Sharleen liked it!), and Andy's...

It's Q&A time! We're back in the living room, ready to answer more of YOUR burning questions. 🔥 How necessary is compromise in relationships, and where's the line between loving yourself and being too set in your ways? Is it a dealbreaker if your partner doesn't seem to take your biological clock seriously? And is it possible to salvage a new relationship if you had sex "too soon", and at wha...

It's Love Fest time! 🎉 Today we're joined by married lovebirds Rachel Lindsay and Bryan Abasolo! These two met and got engaged on Rachel's season of The Bachelorette (Season 13) and married in 2019. They are currently bicoastal as Rachel has recently moved to LA for her job as an Extra correspondent, while Bryan remains in their home in Miami, where he maintains his chiropractic practice. They jo...

Thanks to our sponsor - HELLO TUSHY! Visit http://www.hellotushy.com/SHANDY for 10% off and free shipping on your Hello Tushy bidet! Today's call is a bit of an anomaly in that the question asked is not the question answered. What starts out as an innocent relationship gripe turns out to be a red herring or sorts, and as Shandy overturns each stone, a greater concern is exposed. When do you know i...

Thanks to our sponsor - HELLO TUSHY! Visit http://www.hellotushy.com/SHANDY for 10% off and free shipping on your Hello Tushy bidet! Ask and you shall receive! You've been requesting that we talk MONEY for awhile now, and we brought in the very best to help us do it: Bola Sokunbi of Clever Girl Finance! You guys asked great questions and we grilled Bola: Which is better, joint or separate bank acc...

It's Q&A time! We're back in the living room, ready to answer a whole slew of YOUR burning questions. 🔥 Is it a bad sign if a guy isn't "obsessed" with you? How do you know your "league", and has online dating rigged the system against women? Is there such a thing as having sex too early, and if so, how soon is too soon? Your questions are wonderfully honest, so gear up for a healthy dose of...

It's Love Fest time! 🎉 Today we're joined by the hotly requested Lesley Ann Murphy and her fiancé Alex Kavanagh! Lesley is a travel blogger and yoga instructor (who you may remember from Sean Lowe's season of The Bachelor, as well as 2018's Bachelor Winter Games), while Alex is a drone pilot and creative director. This dynamic duo works and travels together constantly, but today they join us (on...

Today's call touches on an interesting moral dilemma that many have likely considered, but far fewer have acted on. As "the other woman", which is more ethical: To tell your ex-lover's girlfriend about his cheating ways, or to stay out of their relationship and let her learn those tough lessons on her own? How far does "Do Unto Others" extend, or is it better to trust in karma? And in playing a ro...

Today's episode is the first in our new "Confessions" series! If you could ask a recently divorced man ANYTHING, what would it be? We polled you over on Instagram and you delivered with fantastic questions. Our guest, Dov Davidoff, is a talented comedian, actor, and real estate developer. But most importantly, he's one of Andy's closest friends and was a groomsman in our wedding! He so graciously...

It's Q&A time! We're back in the living room, answering YOUR burning questions. 🔥 Is it sketchy if your boyfriend follows his ex's erotic accounts, and how much does it matter whether or not he tells you about it? Do longterm friends-with-benefits relationships ever lead to actual relationships, and what should you do if you find yourself developing real feelings? And how important is sexual...

It's Love Fest time! 🎉 Today we're joined by engaged lovebirds Astrid Loch and Kevin Wendt! These two met on Bachelor in Paradise (Season 5) and got engaged a year later, in 2019. They join us from their new house (which is currently undergoing renovations!) to share their first impressions of each other and whether or not TV played a role. We discuss their thoughts on The One, what their (hilari...

Just how honest should you be in your dating profile? If you never drink, would it hurt your dating chances to share that? And if you're in your mid-20s and have never been in a romantic relationship of any kind, how can you take control of your love life? Today's episode is all about hard truths and tough love. Watch on for the Shandy Take!  If you have a relationship question, write us at: dears...

How familiar are you with the Enneagram? Have you ever considered how your type plays into your relationships? Today we are joined by certified Enneagram coach Stephanie Barron Hall. The Enneagram of Personality, rooted in psychology, is a typology of nine interconnected personality types. With Stephanie's guidance, we learn more about our own types (Sharleen's a 4; Andy's a 5) and how they play a...

We're back to answering YOUR questions! You guys came at us with some tough topics this time around: Should you and your partner talk about your pasts? What should you do if you and your ex are in the same friend group? Do you only seem to want what you can't have? And after having been on The Bachelor, what was dating in the real world like for Sharleen? Our answers to your burning question lie a...

It's Love Fest time! Today we're joined by Vanessa Grimaldi and her then-boyfriend (but now-fiancé!) Josh Wolfe. (Josh proposed 3 days after we recorded this!!) We learn the unique way in which these two got to know each other, how they complement each other, and the hilarious hurdle Josh had to overcome. We also talk housework, Canadian snacks, and Squatty Pottys (#notsponsored.... we wish). Fina...

You've definitely been there: On a date, and the onus feels like it's on you to ask questions and keep the conversation moving. Is your date self-absorbed, or is there more to this? Could you be accidentally contributing to this dynamic? This caller conversation went in a very different direction than expected, but we loved how it brought us (sooner than intended!) to Nervous Energy. We then segue...

Can you REALLY be friends with an ex? We're joined by Margie, Andy's ex-fiancée, who conveniently happens to have a PhD in clinical psychology. We go for a stroll down memory lane to learn about their history together. Then we discuss how they came to be friends today and what the key components are to true friendship post-romance. Finally, we get Margie's professional input: What are the biggest...

Today is all about YOUR questions... the broader ones, that is. What are our thoughts on prenups, and do we have one? How should a woman deal with a man who doesn't satisfy her? After our meeting, did Andy go on dates with anyone else, or did he immediately close down the shop? And did Sharleen play it cool? Find out the answers to your burning questions in our first ever Q&A sesh! If you have...

For our inaugural Love Fest episode, it's only fitting to be joined by dear friends (and engaged couple!) Caila Quinn and Nick Burrello. We dive deep on first impressions (and how those might have changed!), specific traits they value in each other, and relationship hurdles. Andy and Nick also bond over Instagram-husbandry. 😉 PLUS, we have our first ever Dear Shandy Newlyweds Game! Who knows who...

Can you have a genuine connection but still get played? Is age a factor in the likelihood of a guy being a player? And how old was Andy at his most "player-y"? Our caller's story has a magical start but a confusing end that left her wondering what she could have done differently. Listen on to hear the Shandy take!   If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com   Join us e...

We recorded this on a whim, not sure if it'd ever see the light of day. We weren't sure how best to introduce ourselves and kick off a podcast, but since it's our most frequently asked question, we ultimately decided to recap (and reminisce!) about how we met. Watch on to hear how two diehard skeptics who don't believe in fate, serendipity, or The One, somehow found themselves believing in somethi...