Dear Katie: Survivor Stories

This week, we sit down with Darcilyn Hall to discuss the ins and outs of sexual assault litigation. She addresses the role of trauma-informed legal practices and the need for sensitivity when working with survivors, including her own practice's amenities such as Luna the therapy dog.  Hosts: Katie Koestner and Emily Wang Editor: Benter Oluoch Producers: Emily Wang and Luiza Leite

"I remember the feeling of being undressed before being undressed." A recovering people pleaser, Maeve ignores the red flags and her gut when she meets her Tinder date. She tries to be kind, fighting feelings of guilt as she lets him into her room. As he continues to push her boundaries, she calls for her roommate, but her roommate gets back too late. At first in shock, Maeve shares her journey fr...

A lawyer focusing on institutional accountability for child sexual assault, Hansen Dirani shares his soul-shaking passion and energy with us to advocate for survivors of violence. His beliefs, while unconventional, reveal a deep care and unwavering strength in the face of a culture of complicity and silence. If you or a person you know needs an advocate, please make use of our free legal hotline,...

In this bonus segment, we introduce two new cohosts taking on our interviews!  Emily Wang is the Senior Producer for the Dear Katie Podcast and is currently a graduate student in cell biology. She has an academic interest in sexual violence prevention and started the Dear Katie Podcast alongside Claire Kaplan and Katie Koestner.  Luiza Leite is the Associate Producer for the Dear Katie Podcast and...

Walking away from his anger and jealousy, Isabella breaks it off with her college boyfriend. However, his abuse and manipulation follow her, and he assaults her in her home. Following a journey of healing and justice, she shares her story with us today.  Hosts: Claire Kaplan and Katie Koestner Editor: Benter Oluoch Producers: Emily Wang and Luiza Leite

New college student Kiley does her best to deal with the Covid outbreak on campus, spending time with her boyfriend and his roommates. In love for the first time, she finds herself in uncomfortable situations with this group, until one of his roommates attacks her. She walks away, in shock, living in silence until months later. Kiley shares her journey from breaking her silence and dealing with th...

Author and ally Michael Emberger shares his voice and knowledge, advocating for men to take charge and act as true supporters for survivors of sexual assault. His book, Believed, focuses on the suffering of mermaid and college student Kelsea, who stands on a tail and two fins to fight the most painful trial of her life. Despite her trauma and a crisis of faith, she speaks the truth of what her rap...

In today's episode, filmmaker and actress Emma Fitzpatrick discusses the the importance of telling stories that give a voice to the voiceless. As a writer, she has contributed to the success of multiple social media campaigns highlighting women’s issues and gender equality including #SHEPLAYSWEWIN which garnered media attention for its positive portrayal and message to young women in athletics. Sh...

Deb Grassman and Jo Jones share their vision of a world free of sexual violence and a path to healing from 'soul injury'. Often, trauma separates us from ourselves, and the process of healing reconnects us with the self, 're-membering'.  Deborah Grassman is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and author of two books, Peace at Last and The Hero Within. . She discovered a phenomenon that has become ide...

Sandy shares a harrowing personal tale of the end of 17-year relationship; their ex displays a violent temper, lashing out at everyone in her path. They find themselves living in fear, seeking justice and searching for community, transforming their story into one of hope and friendship.  Hosts: Claire Kaplan and Katie Koestner Editor: Benter Oluoch Producers: Emily Wang and Luiza Leite

Graduating high school with her first child, Schenika misses the first signs of her partner's abuse. After years of living subject to his violence, she is finally pushed to free her family from his terror when her children begin sleeping with knives under their pillows. In a daring exodus, Schenika plans meticulously and finally paves the way to her family's freedom, breaking away from her abuser....

stephani candelaria (she/her/ella) is a musician/activist and trauma-informed, decolonization-focused educator from San Juan Bautista, California (Amah Mutsun tribal land). They hold a Masters degree in Education from Mills College in Oakland, CA (Ohlone tribal land), and has more than 10 years experience in education spaces, from gender-based workshop development and implementation, to social jus...

"God, please save me, I don't want to die." Abused and in denial, Angeline is subject to constant terror from her husband; after being sent to the emergency room, she finally finds the courage to put her foot down and file for divorce. Throughout a year-long journey of healing and self-advocacy, she frees herself from domestic violence, carving a new path for herself into independence and strength...

'You give them an inch, and all of a sudden it becomes a mile. And it happens in the blink of an eye.' Sam is a young sophomore in college, excited for a movie double date with her friend. She goes to his room with him, where he takes advantage of her and assaults her. Unsupported by her friends, she navigates her experiences with a so-called 'nice guy' alone.  Hosts: Claire Kaplan and Katie Koest...

Like any 14-year-old, Ashley is excited when a guy takes an interest in her at a school dance. Her high-school meet-cute quickly becomes a nightmare as her boyfriend controls and stalks her. Unknowingly, this young relationship would set the foundation for her future abusers, until she finds empowerment through education and self-awareness.  Hosts: Claire Kaplan and Katie Koestner Editor: Tyler Th...

“It starts with rolling a stone and getting it tumbling and then building this avalanche. That’s my call to action.” Blake shares the destructive force of his first sexual experiences; betrayed by the prince of his dreams, he finds himself questioned and doubted by those he reaches out to for help. He is ignored and silenced, drowning in incredible pain, when a chance TV moment sparks his will to...

Her family served as the perfect hunting ground for a predator. Until the age of 11, Jeannie is stalked by a man who has inserted himself into every aspect of her home life. Filled with shame about her sexual history, she seeks validation in sexual attention. Living today with the vivid and raw moments still etched into her mind, Jeannie teams up with her children to share resources and help stren...

"I was aware what sex was and I was also aware that what was happening was wrong." At 7 years old, Kerri learns to shut up. She takes on the job of taking care of her baby brother, suffering in silence when she is abused by her older brother. Through an incredible journey of healing and resilience, Kerri speaks with us today about how to develop a toolbox to set boundaries and let go of others' me...

At 17, Georgia is drawn to the independent allure of an older man. Brutalized in her new relationship, she finds herself subject to horrific sexual experiences that leave her intimidated and fearful. She bottles up her feelings, letting them sit on the back burner until she can no longer ignore them, finding herself sitting in her garage and attempting to end her own life. To pull herself out of t...

Basking in kindness from a teacher, Aaron finds a mentor in this new friend. Grateful for his support, Aaron regularly meets with him and he becomes a father figure; but one day, this teacher rapes him. Filled with shame, Aaron lies about his experience to his mom. Today, as a parent, educator, and veteran, he speaks up about his experiences with grooming and the culture of silence around sexual v...

'I had no context for what was appropriate behavior. At the time, it was so confusing I didn't know what was happening.' A former circus performer, Aly shares her experiences with discrimination and sexual harassment working on a cruise ship. Facing constant targeting over the course of a year, she eventually left the ship after being diagnosed with PTSD. Today, Aly shares her journey with us, bri...

Chloe was in the house of the man she was seeing when his landlord came down the stairs completely naked. Their intentions were clear. “Not gonna happen,” she said, but she could tell it was all planned. The two men cornered and raped her. Like many other survivors, she repressed the memories of the abuse until they became too loud to ignore. One day, the word RAPE flashed in her head and she deci...

Neglected and abused by her parents, child Emma finds solace in the housekeeper. Her mother is violent towards her, and her father sexually abuses her; knowing that husbands and wives have sex with each other, young Emma assumes that when her parents divorce she is next in line. Her misunderstanding of sexuality and external pressure to be normal pushes her to navigate the world without boundaries...

Like any other seven-year-old, Simi teases her bus conductor and annoys him, playfully pointing out that he is unmarried. He hits her in front of other students and teachers, and she apologizes. But his resentment grows, and he later follows her into the bathroom and rapes her. Simi cleans herself up as best as she can, goes home, and goes to bed, coping with her pain in silence. Worried about her...

Meeting by chance on a flight, Katie is joined by Brad Friedel, who played all over the world for the US national soccer team as a goalkeeper. Now, he works in media and consulting for professional teams and represents players. Because of his career, Brad offers an interesting perspective on the issues facing women in sports. In this episode, he discusses the differences he witnessed for women and...