Dad Starting Over

I hear from a lot of men who fall hard for a woman… and then she starts pulling away. Hot one minute, cold the next. Is it an avoidant attachment style—or is she just not that into you? In today’s Dear DSO episode, we break down Paul’s situation. He’s stuck in the push-pull dynamic with a woman who’s triggering every anxious bone in his body. I explain why this dynamic is so damn addictive… and wh...

In this Dear DSO episode, we tackle Holden’s powerful story:  ✅ A 22-year marriage, wrecked by infidelity  ✅ A toxic ex dragging their adult kids down  ✅ A father who rebuilt his life, career, and confidence — but still worries about his boys I break down what happens long-term when kids get stuck in a toxic home and what (if anything) you, as the healthier parent, can realistically do to help....

In this episode of Dear DSO, I tackle Dave’s story — he’s been married 13 years, but for the last eight, the bedroom has been dead. Less than 10 times a year. He’s doing the chores, paying the bills, helping with everything, hoping it will reignite intimacy… but it hasn’t worked. We talk about perimenopause, the harsh biological and emotional shifts that happen in long-term marriages, and the hard...

Is it wrong to want more sex in your marriage? What if your wife thinks you're a pervert for having a normal male sex drive? In this episode of Dear DSO , I respond to a submission from a man who feels like a prisoner to his own sexuality. He’s doing the work, improving his life, but still feels rejected, shamed, and shut out by his wife. Sound familiar? We’ll dig into the anxious/avoidant dynamic...

In this Dear DSO episode, we’re diving into a common and surprisingly emotional question:   "If I get a vasectomy, will my wife still want me?" This one came from Matt — a father of three, married for five years, and totally done having kids… but now he’s worried that the snip might lead to a dead bedroom. We break down: The primal fears behind vasectomy anxiety Whether a man’s fertility is linked...

In this “Dear DSO” episode, I respond to a story from John—a newly separated man wondering if it’s time to ditch the 9-to-5 life, buy a van, and find himself on the open road. Is this a classic midlife crisis, or the adventure of a lifetime? Let’s talk about what it means to "lose yourself" in the family machine… and whether it’s ever too late to start over. 👊 Want to share your own story? Submit...

In this Dear DSO submission, a follower named John reached out to share his story. He was in a long-distance relationship, had clear boundaries about contact with the opposite sex, and discovered that his girlfriend followed and messaged a local pharmacy tech—without telling him. That was enough for John to walk away… but now he’s second-guessing everything. Join The HFM Brotherhood!

Michael reached out to me with a story I hear way too often. Thirty years of a sexless marriage, confusion, shame, guilt — and then, one day, his wife finally opens up with a truth that changed everything. In this raw, honest conversation, we explore what it means to sacrifice your needs, the silent damage it does, and how deeply hidden trauma can shape a marriage for decades. This one’s for the g...

In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarriage, infidelity, therapy, and now… his wife wants to separate again, “date,” and possibly reevaluate in six months. If you've ever felt like you're living in a constant loop of chaos in your relationship, especially after betrayal, this one will hit hom...

In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a letter from Jerome—a man who’s feeling disillusioned and depressed about relationships and marriage. After a breakup and years of being told that “marriage is the dream,” he’s beginning to question everything. Does long-term monogamy even work anymore? Are women really wired for it? Is the “wife and kids” dream still alive for men today? I unpack all of...

In this live conversation, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to talk about the psychology of the modern man—especially the ones struggling in dead bedrooms, difficult marriages, and post-divorce confusion. We dig into why so many men unknowingly sabotage their relationships, how covert contracts fuel resentment, and what it takes to stop being the “nice guy” and st...

We all crave emotional safety and stability in our long-term relationships… But what if that very safety is what slowly smothers erotic desire? In this livestream, I dive into one of the most frustrating and misunderstood dynamics in long-term monogamy: the trade-off between comfort and sexuality. Why does it feel like the more secure your relationship becomes, the more the passion disappears? Joi...

Brendan’s been dating his girlfriend for three years — and the sex is already slowing to a crawl. He’s worried this is setting the tone for a future marriage, and he’s not wrong. In this clip from a LIVE DSO, we dig into one of the biggest red flags guys ignore: early sexual disinterest. If you’re seeing signs of a dead bedroom while you’re still dating… buckle up. Join The HFM Brotherhood!

Ramius has been married for 47 years. In his 70s, he’s gotten healthy, got his testosterone up, and wants to stay sexually and emotionally connected to his wife. The problem? She’s done. No interest, no desire, early bedtime, and emotionally checked out from intimacy. What do you do when one partner still wants connection… and the other is ready to ride off into the grandma sunset? Let’s talk agin...

Keith has been married six years. No sex since baby #1. Volatile arguments. Threats of suicide. Police visits. And yet — he's afraid to leave. This is the classic trauma-bonded, broken-from-the-start marriage. In this episode, I talk about what it means to finally say “enough,” and how men can break free from toxic relationships. Join The HFM Brotherhood

Ross is in a marriage where intimacy is dead, but the jealousy is alive and well. Despite his massive physical transformation and emotional growth, his wife remains cold and uninterested — while also resenting any female attention he gets. Oh… and she had an affair last year. Let's unpack this contradiction and talk about what it really means when your wife doesn't want you, but doesn’t want anyon...

In this Dear DSO submission, a husband shares his frustration: after two kids, his wife seems to have completely disappeared into motherhood. Once bubbly and fun, now she’s anxious, overwhelmed, and only shows affection after wine or exotic vacations. He’s worked on himself, lost 60 lbs, rebuilt his confidence—but his wife won’t join him. No therapy. No gym. No time for herself. And definitely no...

Ned is a Special Ops vet whose marriage has seen it all — deployment, infidelity, gaslighting, emotional chaos… and now his wife wants to “separate, date around, and reevaluate in 6 months.” What should he do? This episode dives deep into how trauma, emotional abuse, and codependency show up in military marriages — and what men need to reclaim clarity and strength. Join The HFM Brotherhood!

In this powerful Dear DSO entry, I read a message from a man whose wife left him after 20 years of marriage. He gave everything to his family—his time, energy, identity—and now he's completely lost. No friends. No hobbies. No direction. This story is not uncommon, and it shines a light on what happens when men sacrifice themselves entirely for the sake of family and end up with nothing when it all...

A husband writes in with a heartbreaking and outrageous story: after 16 years of marriage and raising six boys together, his wife gave him an ultimatum — “Open marriage or no marriage.” She claims to be polyamorous and bisexual… and already has a boyfriend she’s in love with. Now she expects her husband to accept it — even while the boyfriend sleeps with her in their own marital bed. In this episo...

What happens when your wife cheats... not just with anyone, but with your married next-door neighbor you've known since childhood? Jake wrote in to share his heartbreaking story of betrayal and confusion after discovering a year-long affair between his wife and their neighbor. They've been together 13 years, have kids, and he’s trying to work through it—but the emotional fallout is brutal. In this...

Victoria reached out to share her story — a candid, emotional, and often shocking look into a toxic relationship filled with insecurity, gaslighting, and infidelity. From being accused of cheating over a sex toy… To discovering her partner was visiting massage parlors and hiding condoms… To finding the strength to walk away for the sake of her child and herself. This is one woman’s raw account of...

In this candid livestream, Ralph is joined by psychologist and creator of  @psychacks , Dr. Orion Taraban, for a powerful and thought-provoking conversation on modern masculinity, dating, marriage, and purpose. Topics include: Why fewer men are choosing marriage Whether commitment still makes sense in today’s dating landscape The reality behind sex, status, and the modern mating game Developing pu...

What happens when a man starts taking control of his health—drops weight, hits the gym, starts TRT and Viagra—and his wife doesn’t like it? In this clip from a Dad Starting Over livestream, I share a common (and surprising) reaction many men hear from their wives when they try to turn their life around physically, emotionally, and sexually. The truth? Some women feel threatened by the changes… esp...

A reader sent me an email with some harsh feedback—he says my book is BS because by the time a man picks it up, his marriage is already doomed. He’s frustrated, resentful, and exhausted from trying everything, and he doesn’t believe any change in him will ever fix his wife’s lack of desire. Is he right? Or is he missing something deeper? Join The HFM Brotherhood!