Culture Sex Relationships

I was delighted to be joined by friend of the show, esteemed historian, and GF Dr Eleanor Janega to do another Sex Jams episode. We decided to do two Chappell Roan songs to do a compare and contrast, one a song about sex but not a sex jam, the other a relationship song that is a sex jam (in our humble opinion). Anyway, here are the songs Red Wine Supernova https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS6ixn2be...

It was about how to go about dating when in a committed relationship anarchy (RA) / non-hierarchical / abundant relating arrangement and when you are planning on having a kid with someone from that arrangement. I asked the listener to listen to the recording before I published it to make sure that it was vague enough and they okayed it and said it was helpful :-) If you have a question let me know...

Okay so, I like to maintain close friendships with my exes who are important to me, but I’m struggling with knowing and enforcing my boundaries in those relationships. It’s got to the point where I’ve introduced a new partner to an ex at an event or party and unsurprisingly they’ve got on very well - so well that on a few occasions there’s been some flirting and once or twice some deeper romantic...

In this first episode of ‘Second Opinion’ I give my alternative advice to someone asking for advice from another advice columnist. Here is the original advice. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/mar/12/my-wife-refuses-to-end-affair-she-enjoys-the-sex-what-should-i-do I chat about the background to newspaper advice columns, and why this one might be so short and what’s happened to advice...

Hey! My question is about transitioning and sex. First some background information: My partner is non-binary and I'm genderqueer. Both are assigned female at birth. My partner's "gender journey" has been difficult, but I think they are finally coming into their own (they have been having trans affirming medical care). We have been together for six years. For the first two years we used to have reg...

"Background: I am a queer nonbinary person, in a relationship with another queer nonbinary person. In this case it's relevant to note that we both are people with vulvas. I’ve had lots of sexual experience with men with penises before this relationship but I haven’t for the last few years. I now find myself dreaming about it, especially when I’m ovulating. I also experience discomfort at not being...

I dated someone who was about to become a spiritual leader / teacher a decade ago and completely left the religion. I can’t help but think their first love was God. He never been in a relationship and had said ‘I don’t know how to love one person let alone more right now’ when speaking of polyamory. He has a lot of shame and had a alot of sex outside intimacy. But with me, He was present, made so...

Hi Justin, Thanks for making such and thoughtful and insightful podcast. I just saw your message, and I have a Q that you may be able to use. Which is - why, now that I’m in a healthy and supportive relationship (for a couple of years now) do I still feel hurt, angry, confused etc. about an ex that I dated for only a few months, over three years ago? Someone who wasn’t very supportive and ended up...

"Hey good afternoon! I have a question that could be easily summarized as 'How to deal with "fomo" in non-monogamous/poly/RA relationships?'. (Fomo: fear of missing out.) And to give a bit more information: When I was in a polyamorous relationship for over a year I noticed I sometimes struggled with complicated feelings around missing out on (important) events/activities my then partner would atte...

My problem is around polyamory and non-hierarchy. Specifically, how to deal with loving or caring about some partners more, or feeling more strongly for them, while maintaining a non-hierarchical relationship style. I currently have three partners, one long distance. One of the two local partners recently mentioned that they might move away, and raised the possibility of becoming long distance. I...

"Hi Justin my favourite episode of yours and Meg-John's is 'disagreeing with people'. I've listened over 10 times. Despite this I still find myself getting into pointless heated discussions/arguments that leave me very upset specifically about trans issues but could be any marginalised group. This is in person one to one, not online, I don't respond on social media. How can I stop getting drawn in...

Just a quick advice episode this week as I feel like I've talked a lot about orgasms lately on the show. But first there's some really lovely correspondence about when you, the assemblage, feel like the body without organs. More of this is particularly welcome! https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel

“I often struggle with unpicking what of my feelings is really 'mine' and what's internalised homophobia/transphobia/sexism/sex negativity etc. As a result I really struggle to trust myself, and become anxious, worrying that I'm unconsciously repeating harmful patterns. I know that identities aren't fixed, that we're all constantly evolving and all in relation to one another. I suppose really, wit...

Sex Ed in the UK and Me Our wonderful Patrons have had this for a few days already. Why not join them from just £1 a month? Suggest shows, join the Patreon, DM me directly and get 10% off my coaching service ... patreon.com/culturesexrelationships This one is about a brief history of sex ed in the UK over the last hundred years or so. Part way through I tell my story of how I got into doing this j...

I have a safer sex protocol that consists of a set of good communication tick boxes and a set of medical/testing disclosure tick boxes and a spreadsheet for my partners to record their partners and activities they practise with each, testing status, barrier use, etc I then use some approximate quantification of risk for each partner. While I find my protocol helpful in making this usually sensitiv...

[If you have a question of your own, or would like me to give a Second Opinion of someone else’s advice, get in touch via the link tree here https://linktr.ee/culturesexrel ] “My question is about (changing) feelings of disgust in sexual contexts. My sense of disgust can change rapidly depending on context. For example, most of the time I really don't like kissing, even the idea is repelling to me...

I thought I'd do a reading of a couple of my articles from BISH that I've written about orgasms and then have an adult and theoretical rambling about them. They demonstrate really nicely how gendered sex discourses have produced orgasms in a very narrow (territorialised) way, and how unlearning our sexual knowledges is the key to enjoying it a bit more, but also has some micropolitical implication...

I was joined by Greg Wolfman to talk about his excellent book 'Masculinities in the US Hangout Sitcom'. https://www.routledge.com/Masculinities-in-the-US-Hangout-Sitcom/Wolfman/p/book/9781032426211 (it's an academic book, so expensive, but there's a 20% off voucher at the website. Also Routledge sometimes have really huge sales on. They also published Meg-John's Rewriting The Rules. Also, ask your...

I was thrilled to be joined by Jacob Bloomfield to talk about his excellent new book, 'Drag: A British History'. It tells the story of drag from 1870 to 1970 and I found it to be super entertaining and informative. I came to this as someone who was ambivalent about drag and I learnt so much. You can buy it from this affiliate link and then I get a small commission (and helps support the show) http...

I was delighted to be joined by Yvette Taylor to talk about her fascinating book Working Class Queers Time, Place and Politics. You can buy it from here https://www.plutobooks.com/9780745341026/working-class-queers/

Patrons have had this show for a few days already. Sign up at patreon.com/culturesexrelationships from just £1 a month and support the show :-) My last advice show was popular. Send your questions through via the link in the bio and I will answer them! :-) The UK are having a round of allegations against public figures which centre around sexual ethics, consent, power, and bullying. These are all...

What if you have no problem making connections with people who are cute and engaging, but they are unavailable? My advice about how else we can see these moments of emergence and what we can do to bring reason and new stories into meeting people. I guess this is a companion piece to this podcast https://soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships/how-to-get-a-girlfriend-boyfriend-themfriend

This is a reading from my article I wrote for RSE folk but I think is relevant for CSR folk. I'm also really sick of hearing the bad takes about A***** T***. This article is in response to the questions I get about ‘what should we do about toxic masculinity influencers’. I complexify the idea of an individual having a singular ‘effect’. I argue that there are potential harms of uncritically accept...

I was delighted to be joined by Laura Scaronne Bonhomme and Dr Michael Beattie who (together with co-author Skye Davies) wrote Gender Affirming Therapy. We talked about the need for this book right now. How trans and trans non-binary folk face such scarce resources and also an increasingly hostile and transphobic government. But also how the discourses around gender diversity may have produced an...

I was delighted to be joined by Sophie K Rosa for a chat about her excellent new book Radical Intimacy. We chatted about some of the emerging themes from the book: - the neoliberal self as produced by society and culture, - reflecting on Covid and how the lockdown policy reproduced common sense ideas about the nuclear family, mononormativity, and safety - we critique the common sense idea of monog...