Crotty Farm Report

It is painful to be an American right now, with such inane, unprepared options for President and such dangerously biased media rooting for and covering for one team. I need an escape hatch to another country, portal, or universe of excellence. But I will try to remain in the CrotMo trenches and demonstrate the excellence that our two standard-bearers congenitally cannot. As I know from direct expe...

Friends, this is the first in the Crotty Farm Report (CFR) TV series. In this month’s episodes, I answer questions from a random Gen Z questioner. Unlike Hillary at the CNN debate, I don’t know any of the questions in advance or have notes. This one is on the house, but you must become a paid subscriber to view the rest. As you will see, Musk, Oliver, Stewart, Trump, and Tucker have nothing on “Th...

For years, you’ve seen your trusted Crotty Farm Report scribe driving hither and yon in the fabled Crius on long-distance Odyssean treks. It took a lot of psycho-spiritual preparation and the calm, loving reassurance of a fellow Monk, but on Tuesday, September 2, 2024, on a nonstop American Airlines trip from LAX to Omaha, I took my first flight in years. And without any “pharmaceutical support.”...

There can’t be Democratic Party “joy” after last night’s joke of a short, softball, sycophantic CNN “interview.” 39 days without talking to the press, Empress Kamala seemed anxious, small, and nervously unprepared to be commander-in-chief of the most powerful military the world has ever seen. Her comfort animal sidekick, Tim Walz, was useless, confirming the stereotype of him as a weak, untethered...

Ok, ok, more like $700,000 Zimbabwe dollars for the custom Crotty tour. Thanks for reading Crotty Farm Report! This post is public so feel free to share it. Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

Indomitable, irrepressible, and heroic Boring Company, Neurolink, Space X, Tesla, X and xAI CEO––and future Crotty Farm Report subscriber ––Elon Musk tweeted in 2018: “Gonna put an old school drive-in, roller skates & rock restaurant at one of the new Tesla Supercharger locations in LA. And an outdoor screen that plays a highlight reel of the best scenes in movie history.” True to his word and pre...

LA’s Frogtown, AKA Elysian Valley, got its name when hordes of Western Toads took over its streets in the mid-20th century. You may remember frogs falling from the sky in P.T. Anderson’s San Fernando Valley epic Magnolia . It was not just a Biblical reference but a real-world one. Frogtown became further isolated when the I-5 Freeway was built along it. Today, it fits all the criteria of the Crott...

Life is more than Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper! Democrat or Republican. Left or Right. The pain you feel in reading The Crotty Farm Report is your brain breaking through conditioning and shibboleths to see the world brand new outside groupthink and funneling. It hurts! You are courageous! A warrior! Come get your mind right. Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts...

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for reading the Crotty Farm Report. This post is public, so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

As always, we have to clean up a few things that Strokey said: * I meant billions of people worldwide (not trillions, LOL) and millions (not billions) here in the U.S. I had the net worth of Apple and Nvidia on my mind, not humans! * It’s pronounced “Clyburn,” not “Clybourn,” which I know but was sleepy like Joe. * Republicans used the term “lawfare,” not Democrats. Enjoy over a cup of hot matcha!...

We all remember chasing fireflies. It’s an essential rite of summer. Meet your younger self. Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

An expansive interpretation of presidential acts is tremendously beneficial to Joe Biden, who, minus the Monday, July 1 United States Supreme Court ruling in Trump versus The United States , could be charged with causing the deaths of innocent American women murdered by illegal immigrants who entered the country because of his deliberately open border. If Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor had gott...

In yesterday’s must-listen interview with attorney Greg Abbott , we outlined in great detail the options before Democratic leadership in the wake of Thursday’s shocking and heartbreaking revelations about Biden’s cognitive decline and ensuing leaks about his administration’s coordinated cover-up. Americans now see through to the core of Team Biden's reelection strategy: hide Joe, wage lawfare on T...

Democrats are out to sea. All options to change course are tough. The waters are choppy and filled with sharks. Do Democrats keep “Ridin’ with Biden” in the hope that voters become innurred to the President’s cognitive decline? Or do they change skippers late in the regatta? Should they move Kamala to the top of the ticket and pair her with a female Vice President in a groundbreaking move? Or do t...

It’s tough to see a father in Joe Biden’s compromised condition. Whether dementia, Parkinson’s, sundown syndrome, or whatever we as an American family shockingly witnessed Thursday night, it’s bound to get worse from here. There’s no way a man with the President’s advanced neurodegenerative decline should be remotely near the nuclear codes. I’ve seen saying it since 2020. Now, the Trump-deranged m...

Pushed out to Lincoln with Omaha CrotMo rented out for the College World Series, our intrepid correspondent returns to his former workplace, the Cornhusker Hotel, to reveal some inside baseball on the separation of church and state in the historic first district of Congress. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

When Crius and I first ran up on them at a Sand Hills gas station, we figured they were an itinerant band of Pentecostals. The two white vans and the way the diverse assemblage politely gathered inside the filling station suggested as much. It turns out that they were a posse of storm chasers led to western Nebraska by an Arlington, Texas, outfit called Tempest Tours. To my reckoning, this kindly...

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

Come see my sister Carolyn Reese Crotty, aka “Care Bear,” aka “Care Bear Market,” aka “BOOP!” in the astrophysical theatrical production “Singularities” tonight at 8PM at The Road Theatre in North Hollywood. Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

There is no place like Monk Space. From avant-garde opera, to artist boxing matches, to immersive theatre kidnappings, to the world’s top playing card magician, to brand activations (The Quiet Place, The Black Phone, Jon Benjamin Has a Van), to upcycle fashion shows, to deaf film screenings, to major Hollywood productions you have seen. Check it out at www.monkspace.com. Crotty Farm Report is a re...

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for reading Crotty Farm Report. This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe

Crotty Farm Report is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Get full access to Crotty Farm Report at crotty.substack.com/subscribe