Tony Santore

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Science EN ↓ 291 episodes

Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.

Author

Tony Santore

Episodes

Climate Deniers, Rio Grande Milkweeds and Cartel Biospheres 02.10.2019 2:31:21

Rants on Climate Deniers, Obsolete Racist Grandfathers, El Cielo Biosphere Reserve, Foxtail Pines, the Hong Kong Airport and many more. 2.5 hours worth of profane pontifications on evolutionary biology, the human condition and bad air days.

Gypsophiles, Rare Sumacs, Societal Jabs, Arguing with morons, etc 10.09.2019 2:46:57

A long episode dedicated to rare Sumacs of West Texas, brutal heat, gypsophiles, refugial canyons in obscure mountain ranges, the phenomenon of arguing with idiots, trolls and shit-posters, and the wonders of Taquerias in South Texas.

Rock Daisies, Peyote, Sky Islands and Taqueria Palenque 25.08.2019 2:28:12

A gentle, sweaty meander through the Southwest in August, ending in a bath in the salsa bar at Taqueria Palenque in Beautiful Mission, Texas.

Southside Chicago & Sonora, Mexico 07.08.2019 2:44:37

Kankakee Mallow, Chiggers, Southside Prairies and Railroad Botany... At minute 45:00 starts a long diatribe on Sonoran Sky Islands (recorded in-situ inthe camper of ye Olde shit-box truck) and the wonders of the Legume Family, with multiple appearances by herps such as Black-Tailed Rattlesnakes, a Sonoran Desert Toad (DMT exudate), Ridge-nosed Rattlesnakes and Caesalpinia pulcherrima

Extinct Redwood Forests and Sensitivity Training for Rude Geologists 19.07.2019 2:08:10

Geologists laughing at Earthquakes, Coyotes as Redneck Antidotes, Extinct Redwood Forests of Nevada and Oregon, Tony flowers in volcanos, Heat Stroke, Calochortus Lily Bonanza, White Sensitivity, and Rico's Tacos.

Redwood Lilies & Midwest Botany 30.06.2019 2:09:15

Long rants about redwood lilies, a dip into Northern California geology as cross-dissected by Interstate 5, pontificating on lunatics of the left and the right, and a finale about Prairie Botany and the encouraged destruction of the American Lawn.

More Milkweed Dungeons in Nevada and Utah 20.06.2019 2:13:40

Milkweed Morphology and an exploration of the passive-aggressive liberal "white voice"

One Long Disjointed Rant b/w Milkweeds and Sclerocactus 03.06.2019 1:25:02

Convergent Evolution, Carnivory, and the Milkweed from Serpentine Barrens 28.05.2019 1:13:37

Real nice and quick banger Intro to Carnivory and the Piney Woods of the North Carolina Acidic Coastal Plain, plus a cameo by the mysterious and elusive Serpentine Milkweed from Northern California Coast Ranges

Death Valley Limestone, Invasive Species, Herbal Enemas 17.05.2019 1:55:10

A trip to Death Valley Limestone , an herbal poultice for invasive species long-winded rambling and the longest attempt to exit the podcast so far.

Assaulted by Stinkbells and Obsessed with Monkey Flowers 19.04.2019 1:51:48

Stinkbells Lilies, Fritillaria agrestis, the Futility of Life in Modern Civ, Calico Monkeyflowers, etc

Rare Manzanitas & The Best Taqueria in the Salinas Valley 03.04.2019 1:33:22

A trip to Pinnacles National Park, confused European tourists, the hemorrhoid of differentiating between two morphologically-identical genera of annual tarweeds, and the best goddamn taqueria in the Salinas Valley (Soledad Brother).

"Superblooms" are relicts & understanding Invasive Species 29.03.2019 1:08:23

But for real - how could you not like The Spinners?

Mojave Snow, Laterites, Salvia funerea 25.02.2019 2:12:47

A week long jaunt into the Mojave during a freakish weather event and a list of the floristic characters encountered b/w moderated profanity and the joy of being slapped around with Placidium Lichen.

Neonicotinoids, Molecular Phylogeny, Relict Populations 14.02.2019 1:24:39

This episode contains rants about the anomaly of working-class republican-ism, molecular phylogenetics, a new population of Funeral Sage, and a relict population of Alaska Cypress

Kick Me Inna Asteraceae 10.02.2019 1:18:27

A Very Brief, Low-Brow Approach to the Sunflower Family with frequent cameos by an inopportune Yukele, with frequent digressions into Palo-Endemics, Refugia, Botanical Speciation , Disjunct Populations and Molecular Phylogenetics.