Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: My partner and I parent really differently, especially with our adopted child. I’m more focused on connection and understanding behavior, and my partner is much more strict and consequences-focused. We keep arguing about discipline and routines, and honestly, it’s starting to hurt our relationship too. How do we stop fighting about parenting and work better...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Navigating special education can feel overwhelming—but you don’t have to do it alone. In this episode, we’re joined by Paula J. Yost, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, special education advocate, lawyer, educator, and author who breaks down IEPs, 504 plans, evaluations, and how to effectively advocate for your child. In this episode, we discuss: What led y...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question:  My child is in upper elementary school, and we’ve been together for a while, but they still keep me at arm’s length. What are some concrete things I can do now to help build a more secure attachment? Resources: Establishing Secure Attachment with Your New Foster or Adopted Tween or Teen Understanding and Improving Parent-Child Attachment The Power of Curio...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! What should you consider when preparing to become a host family to a child who is eligible for international adoption? We talk with Misty Lucas, an International Program Director at Gladney Center for Adoption.  In this episode, we talk about: For listeners new to this topic, what is a child hosting program, and what are the goals of hosting today?  How have hosting...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: We have applied to adopt a baby. We’re more or less being told that if we don’t agree to an open adoption, we’ll never get chosen by a birth mom. But, I really don’t want an open adoption. I think kids need just one mom and dad and opening up our family to others will just be confusing for everyone. But, I’m afraid that we’ll never get chosen if I say this....

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Parenting neurodiverse tweens and teens can feel overwhelming, especially when traditional parenting strategies don’t seem to work. In this episode, we talk with Carl Young and Joel Sheagren, co-authors of Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens , about practical, brain-based strategies to reduce conflict, support emotional...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question:  We’re getting close to adopting our foster child, and I keep worrying there are things we should be asking for before finalization that we don’t even know to request. What information or records should we make sure to get from the agency so we truly understand our child’s history and needs? Resources: 23 Crucial Questions to Ask at Foster Care Placement Me...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Many parents raising adopted, foster, or kinship children feel like they’re carrying most of the parenting load alone. Talking about it and changing it can be hard. In this episode, Josh Davis, PhD, shares practical, non-blaming strategies to improve communication, build confidence, and create a stronger parenting partnership when raising kids from hard places. As Fa...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: Our daughter is 11 months old and was adopted through an open adoption. We have a relationship with her birth mother, but don't yet feel it's the right moment to ask about family history, and her birth father is completely unknown to us. We do know that both birth parents are Hispanic, but beyond that, we have no additional information about her h...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! We talk a lot about the child’s experience in foster care, but what is this experience like for the child’s birth parents? You may be surprised! Join our conversation with Dr. Darcey Merritt, a professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Work who researches this topic. In this episode, we discuss: What is a typical scenario, if there is such a thing, of h...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: We’re new foster parents and have noticed that our child is hiding food in their backpack, closet, and even under the bed. We make sure there’s always plenty to eat, so we’re confused and a little concerned. Is this something we should be worried about? Why might they be doing this, and how should we respond in a way that helps them feel safe? Resources: Pr...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Raising kids while caring for aging parents is more common than ever—and often overwhelming. We talk with Robyn Wind, the GRAND Voices Support Coordinator for the National Center on Grandfamilies at Generations United, about the realities of sandwich generation caregiving and practical ways foster, adoptive, and kinship families can find support.  In this episode, we...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: I’m in the process of adopting an infant and feeling overwhelmed by the paperwork. How do I get my child’s birth certificate and Social Security number after the adoption is finalized? What steps do I need to take, what documents are required, and how does this vary by state? Resources: Where to Write for Vital Records: Centers for Disease Control and Preve...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Are you considering residential treatment for your adopted child? We speak with Daniel Hochstetler of Fair Play Camp in South Carolina about preparing our families for residential treatment, navigating the programs, and how to set our families up for success after treatment.  In this episode, we talk about: Pursuing residential treatment is one of the hardest decisio...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: The school thinks my foster son may have ADHD, but I know he’s been through a lot of trauma. How do I know what’s driving his behavior and how to advocate for the support he actually needs? Resources: The Grandparents' Guide to Back to School How Do Teachers Understand Adoption and What Can Parents Do About It? A Parent's Guide to Working with the...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! What if families had support before a crisis led to foster care? In this episode, we talk with Dr. David Anderson, psychologist and founder and executive director of SAFE Families for Children , about a community-based model that helps keep children safe while supporting parents through difficult seasons. Dr. Anderson also serves as Executive Director of Lydia Home A...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: We are seriously considering becoming foster parents.  We have 2 children by birth, and I am really worried about how this will affect them and what I can do to prevent some of the negative effects. Resources: The Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the Family (Resource) Talking with your Resident Kids about Foster Care or Kinship Care (Reso...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Foster families are doing significant work to support both the children in their homes and the parents of those kids. What do they need to thrive in this work? We talk with Cathleen Bearse, a licensed therapist, foster mom, and the creator of Fearless Fostering . She supports foster and adoptive parents with practical tools, emotional guidance, and trauma-informed st...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: I’m new to raising my grandchild and still learning about trauma. People keep saying it changes a child’s brain, but I don’t really understand what that means. What does trauma actually do to the brain, and how does that show up in behavior at home or school? Resources: The Three Es: Understanding the Impacts of Trauma A Conversation with Dr. Bruce Perry Ab...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Have you considered fostering? What might be holding you back? Join us for a conversation with Laura, the Foster Parent Partner, to explore what it takes to be ready to foster, what the licensing and placement process looks like, and how to navigate relationships with the child's birth parents while providing a safe place for the child to land. Laura is the auth...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: How do I delicately share information about my child’s birth parent with my child, when we know their biological parent has a long history of arrest? They are not a safe adult for my child to maintain a relationship with. Our family is struggling with how to balance the message that the adoption plan was made out of love for the child and not wanting to cas...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Join us for this interview with former NFL Running Back and Super Bowl Champion Ricky Watters. He is an adoptee, an adoptive dad, and author of a new children’s book on adoption, A Gift Called Shane . In this episode, we discuss: How old were you when you learned you were adopted and how did you find out? When you discovered you were adopted, you mentioned in your NF...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question:  I’m an intern therapist working with kids involved in DHS and the foster system. Could you guys talk about what a kid in the system needs from therapy? Or like what helped them, what didn’t, what they needed in that space that their therapist didn’t provide? Resources: Trauma-Informed Therapy: Finding the Right Fit for Your Family Therapists: Parents Shoul...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Could you use a few new strategies to help your child improve misbehavior? Listen to this conversation with Dr. Casey Call, the Associate Director of Education at the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at TCU and Associate Professor of Professional Practice in the TCU Department of Psychology. She will help us understand how to maintain connection while corr...

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Question: My 2nd grader, adopted domestically, has some pretty big, hard behaviors, like tantrums, clingy whining, and difficulty cooperating or sharing. We know there was prenatal substance exposure. I feel stuck to help them with their big feelings and big behaviors — what do I do to help them day to day? Resources: 5 Tips to Save Your Sanity While Raising Kids wit...