Crazy for Swayze

Prepare your loins for the sexiest and most-expensive TV Miniseries from 1985: North and South. Mal joins the boys to admire the period-appropriate attire and and critique the chivalrous masculinity of 1842. Don't sleep on this series! It just might be the Swayziest thing ever committed to film. But is it Lost Cause propaganda? NEXT TIME, ON NORTH AND SOUTH.

Shawn Neil, Bike Jousting Expert, brings us one of his foundational movies. It's about a preacher and his daughter. She's a girl in trouble, and no one knows how to help her. Until Kevin Bacon brings his brand of city-slicker fun! Yet another movie where the central conflict could be solved by a man just fucking his own wife. 

Climate change wrecks havoc in our modern world, and cyborgs ravage the future of 2027. Hold tight the ones you love. The androids are coming for your family.

It's a smorgasbord of Swayze Adjacent Actors! We've got Lisa Niemi, we've got Don Swayze, we've got C. Thomas Howell, we've got Marshall Teague and a bunch of behind-the-scenes players, and we've even got Lowe Rob! Does this documentary get to the heart of Our Hero, or does it only breeze past the darkness? Can it be both?

It's a new year, and we're back on our bullshit. A new theory emerges on the Purpose of The Floor, and the evidence is pretty convincing, regardless of how A Beautiful Mind it all sounds by the end. All hail Lowe Rob.

This is an odd one, folks. Did you know that inventor of the the Erector Set was a war profiteer who had the power to cancel, then reinstate Christmas? And would you believe that he was a benevolent capitalist who believed in the power of play? Or that he, and the actor who portrays him in this movie, was a magician? Surprises about in this historical biopic! Big ups to Pickle and Anne for rejoini...

Alicia and Andrea (plus Santa bells) rejoin the Swayze Boys at the Edmonton Mall for their annual Christmas Rewatch of THE Patrick Swayze Christmas Classic. It's Christmas Ghosts all the way down, folks.

Danny Bolterstein and Shane Stroud combine their opinions and decibels, and decide that "hobo" isn't a slur, which is good news for this movie! It's a dad movie that every crust punk and their pa could agree on. We used to be a proper country!

Tom Skill, Bud Koltys, and your very co-host, Josh, form 3/5's of a defunct ska band, and join your angelic host to talk about a made-for-TV Christmas movie. It's got an actress who plays an angel on TV and a character implied to be an angel, but no Santa. Questions abound about OSHA, HR, and NAFTA situations. As always, child acting should be illegal.

Allison and Kyle Wieshaupt rejoin the Swayze Boys on the Warner Family farm in North Dakota and learn a thing or two about how to mix city and country sensibilities. What is The Spirit of Thanksgiving? Why are families? Who is Pauly Shore? Enjoy this one before, during, or after munching on some grindage.

Beth Grant is one hell of a character actor. You know, the lady you love to hate. She came into our lives doubting our committment to Sparkle Motion and captured our hearts getting sucked under a bus in Speed. Where is East Carolina? What does Civil Rights activism have to do with a prolific acting career? What's up with her husband's look? All this, plus a short review of Beth Grant's directorial...

In this episode, Bret Michaels is Buffalo Bill. We meet the the plethysmograph. Shane crowns Bret King in the North, then makes more allegations about Big John, all the while stanning Tiffany (whom is sadly eliminated). If you like it, episode one is also available (FOR FREE) at Patreon.com/nooneworkhere

What is journalism for? Why are movies? Will Alex Garland ever make another movie? This episode was never meant for public consumption. Happy post-Election Day! patreon/com/nooneoneworkhere

Amy Plunkard, née [REDACTED], and Mike Walsh join the Swayze Boys, seemingly unwillingly, to watch the legacy-sequel to Jon Carpenter's Halloween. Amy and her mom share holiday trauma. Mike hates this movie with passion. Vince almost forgets about the Tigress. Josh tries to keep the damn thing on track. The opposite of friends is teeth.

Kadee Spangler and Mal rejoin the Swayze Boys at the Salem Town Hall Halloween party. While there, we concoct an idea for a 4th of July party that truly celebrates history, but get interrupted by three resurrected witches hunting for kids' souls to suck. Dadcula and Momdonna stand out, but Doug Jones is the real star of this Disney classic.

It's a sleepy throwback episode with 80's Expert, Eric Ketchum. Wax on, wax off, etc. Swayze should've been Kreese.

Kara and Zach (collectively, the Oddity Shop podcast) dive headlong into our third and probably final watch of this Gyllenhal classic. We all watched it separately to maximize productivity! The Swayze Boys have questions about the paranormal and Noah Wyle. Zach and Kara have answers, but also questions of their own! Lots of talk about The Veil, Director's Cuts covering up bad movies, and possibly...

DeMarco and Jo join in on the fun for a classic horror comedy (from the director of Leprechaun 2: One Wedding and Lots of Funerals!). Devon Sawa does some great clowning to match Christopher Guest aka Handy Serkis! Weed is good! Cops are bullies! Dexter Holland is there! Mighty Joe Bong! It's a movie for Roger Ebert, us, and also stoned young dads everywhere.

Andrea Kaminski joins the Swayze Boys in their first-ever aerobics class, led by Jamie Lee Curtis and also attended by John Travolta. It's vigorous. It's sweaty. It's PERFECT. Ultimately, this film is about as Swayze, on our Scale, as any can be. "EAT SHIT AND DIE." -Jeff Rosenstock / Mark from this movie

The Floor: Episode 3 (2024) [Swayze Adjacent].talking The Whale(s) for a second time this month, and identifying more images (with and without) Rob Lowe. Sorry, Shane, this episode contains Forest Whitaker but we didn't know! THE MOSHUMENTARY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHkSs9k5ME4 THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY LOWE'S HOME IMPROVEMENT.

Jerilyn Jordan and The Boys delicately dance around "The Greatest Tragedy in American History." Nic Cage and Oliver Stone restrain themselves in this "Disaster Movie," but we basically refuse to. and, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR: PLUTO TV! "The commercials are pretty innocuous!" https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/17/arts/television/steve-rannazzisi-comedian-who-told-of-9-11-escape-...

Strap on your universal translator and tune into YouTube for Keanu's first and only directorial venture. We're alone now with our dear, sweet, and beautiful listeners, and ready to digest what we've learned from Keanu Week.

Jo, Mal, Pickle, and Alicia are all back to celebrate Virgo season and our #2 man. John Constantine is so cool, you guys. We wish Catholicism were real.

Danny Bolterstein returns, and so do Bill & Ted! Danny brings actual information, for a change, and tells us about makeup and the history of playing games against Death. This movie is rated PG - yay! Check out patreon.com/NoOneWorkHere for a brand new podcast hosted by Danny Bolterstein: I KNOW THAT GUY

Get a strap on your jock and drive out to Miss Gill's Hockey Player Warehouse (where every hockey player should learn to read and write). Jake brings his hockey expertise to the table while we talk about an insane movie that's sort of the opposite of Goon, and also quite a bit darker than we previously recalled. And now we finally have to count the horses for real. Shout out to John Zamboni! TAKE...