Couples Coaching with Natalie Clay

Today I discuss why you might consider trashing the "selfish" label so you can take care of your own needs in marriage.

This week I talk about why many of us decide to marry someone quite different from ourselves and how we can learn to approach differences not with irritation, but appreciation.

Do you feel like you are always in trouble in your marriage relationship? Today I talk about how to get free of that oppressive feeling and replace it with love.

Many of us are on 24-hour alert trying to spot the judgement we're certain others feel toward us. This week I discuss what steps will quiet our primitive brains and remove this unnecessary pain from our lives.

Do you ever have a week where every effort you make seems wasted? Where the simplest task feels like pushing a boulder uphill? Welcome to my week. Today I share a couple of ideas on how you can face a week like this.

This week I share three techniques that will increase the connection you feel with your spouse—even if your spouse doesn't change a bit!

Feeling bad is a necessary part of the human experience. Today I discuss ways you can embrace the bad feelings that come in order to keep them from being bad for you.

Does our view of our past lead us to self-compassion or victimhood? The perspective we choose will impact our relationships going forward.

Today I talk about why our brains give negative emotions the same gravity as death — and what we can do about it.

Just like a user manual for a car or a phone, many of us carry around a mental user manual complete with the features we expect our spouse to have and how we think he or she should operate.

This week I discuss why we often cling to the "headline" we've written for our marriage—even if it doesn't increase our happiness—and how we can write a more useful one.

Parents apply simple labels like "good guys" and "bad guys"—terms that young minds can understand—to protect their children. A surprising number of us, unfortunately, carry these labels into marriage and waste time and energy trying to decide if we have a "good" spouse or a "bad" spouse.

All marriages have struggles! Guests Diana and Dan Swillinger share how they've worked to overcome some of the challenges encountered in theirs.

You've been married long enough to draw firm conclusions about your spouse. These convictions make logical sense and seem to be confirmed over and over by your marriage experience. Today I discuss why we should be very skeptical of our conclusions.

This week I draw attention to a behavior that many of us exhibit, which, left unchecked, has the power to make us feel that we're victims and our spouses are villains.

Whenever I work with a client who has been cheated on by their spouse, the question I'm always asked is "How can I ever trust him/her again?" This week I demystify the nature of trust to help empower you to move your marriage forward in the way YOU want.

This week I share tips to help all the soon-to-be-marrieds hit the ground running with healthy and happy marriages!

If our thoughts are filled with "shoulds," we make decisions from fear. This week I talk about how you can take back the authority to make decisions on your terms.

Today I discuss a healthy step-by-step approach to navigating the difficult and sometimes long-lasting disagreements that can spring up in marriage—and how you can come out closer as a couple on the other side!

Resentment feels terrible. And if we're not careful, resentment can color our feelings toward our spouse and harm our marriage. Today I'll talk about the source of resentment and how you can take steps to get it out of your life.

Do we view our roles in our marriage as decisions we make or as responsibilities thrust upon us? Today I'll share a few ideas on how you and your spouse can navigate ever-changing roles and draw closer together!

Each of us decides whether sex leads to intimacy in our marriage or to disconnection and resentment. Today I'll share some simple ideas on how to choose intimacy.

Our brains are biologically wired to desire human connection and pleasure. Today I'll share some insights to keep in mind if you are faced with the decision of whether or not to seek connection outside your marriage.

The circumstances of our marriage (or our life) determine our experience with it, right? Today we'll talk about the real problem behind our "real" problems.

Should the goal of a "good" marriage be to always understand each other? Does this lead to harmony and help us avoid disappointment?