Conversations About Conversations

HOW TO RESPOND TO "YOUR COMPETITION COSTS LESS THAN YOU" Clients and prospects will frequently say things like: -You COST too much. -Your fees are too high. -Your COMPETITION costs less than you. Where many go wrong is by improvising a response instead of following a DISCIPLINED PROCESS for handling objections. Most of the time a cost objection is actually a VALUE PERCEPTION PROBLEM. The cost is N...

KNOW YOUR TOOLS AND USE THEM SKILLFULLY In this episode of Conversations About Conversations, I draw an analogy between a precision probe set (a term for the tools a dental hygienist uses) and the question types I write about in two of the chapters of my book. I encourage you to challenge yourself to use questions in a strategic and precise fashion in your conversations. Take advan­tage of differe...

THE WORD PEOPLE FEAR THE MOST Even though "no" is just a word, it's still one of the most powerful ones. "No" usually prevents us—at least temporarily—from ACHIEVING our OBJECTIVES. It's easy to give up and not want to ask again. The fear of hearing "no" inhibits us from powerfully and freely expressing ourselves and asking for what we want. The problem is to get the kind of results you want, you...

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A ROOKIE AND A VETERAN QUARTERBACK While your presentation skills and ability to articulate yourself are important, you need to be more than just a good "talker" to have extraordinary conversations, you need to be able to read your clients like elite quarterbacks READ THE DEFENSE. You must be able to quickly assess your client's reactions IN REAL TIME so you can respond appr...

CHECK EARLY AND OFTEN FOR ACCEPTANCE The problem is you make a lot of ASSUMPTIONS in your conversations. You make a lot of good points as well. However, when you reflect back on a conversation you wonder: 1) Did he actually ACCEPT what I said or not? 2) He didn't disagree. Does that mean he AGREED? 3) He didn't say no. Does that mean he's a YES? The problem with NOT checking for acceptance is you'...

The problem is you don't have a voicemail strategy. You don't determine what kind of message you're going to leave and what you're going to say before you call. You determine it on-the-fly, and often on auto-pilot, instead of preparing in advance as part of a comprehensive communication plan. You decide to wing it versus planning and putting together a complete voicemail strategy. As a result, you...

The problem is you argue too much. You unintentionally put yourself on the other side of the table from your clients. You pick the wrong battles and then you find it very challenging to move these kinds of conversations forward once they go down this path. In the end, your clients aren't satisfied and neither are you. Even if you win the argument, you really lose because of the way you made your c...

When I was in my 20s, I thought my enthusiasm and knowledge would be the major determining factors of SUCCESS in my conversations with clients. BUT: -I was inundating my clients with information. -I was trying to cover too much. -I was talking at them so much I was figuratively DROWNING them in information. They couldn't have possibly absorbed everything I put forth—I was barely letting them breat...

ARE YOU CONFIDENT OR OVER CONFIDENT? Without confidence, it's HARD to effectively manage your business relationships. BUT with too much confidence, you might operate on the FALSE assumption that you're better than you think you are. IF you think you're better than you really are, you don't do the things necessary to improve yourself and maximize your growth as a professional. 12 years ago, when I...

This episode of Conversations About Conversations starts with a love story before moving on to the important topic of building rapport in your business conversations. When you're not good at building rapport it has a real IMPACT on your conversations AND your bottom-line business results (aka $$$ in your pocket). I didn't believe it was POSSIBLE to get rapport with anyone at any time and under any...

IS THE PHRASE "I WOULD ARGUE" SOMETHING YOU FIND YOURSELF SAYING? I keep the song I'm a Lover (Not a Fighter) in mind when I find my clients are trying to argue with me. Having gone through crisis situations where my clients needed counsel, like the stock market panic in 2008, I've learned that even though someone can try to argue with me, I don't need to argue with them—it almost never leads to a...

DO THE THING YOU FEAR On this episode of Conversations About Conversations, I discuss the mindsets, strategies and actions necessary to overcome your fears and do things you've never done before. Mark Twain said, "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain." What is it that you've never done before that you would like to do in this coming year? Life is short—even at the longest. Now is...

I'M HUMBLED RIGHT NOW When you are used to winning, losing doesn't feel very good. But, losing is good for you because it reminds you that you need to do a better job preparing and planning. Early in my career, I didn't prepare much at all. I didn't have a plan for anything other than a coop­erative client. Because of my lack of preparation, I would routinely have conversations that didn't go as w...

GAIN AGREEMENT FOR ACTION Gaining agreement for positive and productive action is essential. If you improve your ability to grow relationships with clients and prospects through powerful conversations, you'll become more valuable to your company, make more money and increase your job satisfaction. There is no skill more important than the ability to be effective in conversations and that starts wi...

THROW YOUR HAT OVER THE WALL When you throw your hat over the wall, you're COMMITTING to doing something. The idea goes, if your hat is on the other side, and you value your hat, you have no choice, but to get yourself over the wall as well. With the year nearly over, this is the time of year when a lot of people set GOALS for the next year. But, depending on your experience with goal setting in t...

THE MUSCLE MEMORY OF SKILL (WAX ON WAX OFF) To become excellent at any skill, you have to put in the time and practice enough to turn the skill into muscle memory. In my 25-year career, I've had roughly 50,000 conversations with clients—that's a lot of repetition. But until 12 years ago, I did not follow a specific conversation model so I wasn't necessarily practicing in a way that would turn me i...

I NEEDED TO BUILD RAPPORT FIRST When I started in the business world, I was so serious and objective-oriented I didn't realize the VALUE of taking time to build rapport. I rushed. I often rushed. I put efficiency and getting down to business ahead of building RELATIONSHIPS. But I learned from my MENTOR, that I was making things more difficult than I needed to by not building rapport first. And, be...

THE GREATEST WAY OF SAYING SOMETHING We've all had the experience of trying to make an important point in a conversation when another person feels compelled to INTERRUPT and talk right over us. I admit I'm guilty of this. Even though I'm committed to LISTENING to my clients and hearing what they have to say, I'm still far from perfect. Listening IS one of the MOST IMPORTANT skills you can develop...

WHEN YOUR COMPANY IS GOING THROUGH A MERGER WATCH this episode of Conversations About Conversations to learn how to handle the objections that you will inevitably hear from your clients when your company is going through a merger. How you respond can be the DIFFERENCE between them staying with your company or leaving for a competitor. Especially in times of change or chaos, RELATIONSHIPS MATTER. …...

I'M STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO WING IT So, like a pilot, I follow a flight PLAN. How much time do you put into preparing a PLAN for your conversations with clients or prospects? Do you even enter a conversation with a PLAN? Or, are you content to improvise and make things up as you go along? Many relation­ship managers and sales professional are. If you want to be an AVERAGE relationship manager, th...

THE ENTIRE ICEBERG The problem is YOU relate to the tip of the iceberg as if it were the entire iceberg. You prematurely REACT to your clients' objections in a DEFENSIVE way. Rather than seeking to understand what's underneath their objections, you become focused on defending yourself or your company against incomplete thoughts and partial points of view. Becoming defensive leads to conversations...

A HANDY WAY TO GET REAL-TIME COACHING AND FEEDBACK What if you could get valuable real-time coaching during your most CHALLENGING conversations? It's not as easy as you might think. The problem is how do you receive, synthesize and utilize the FEEDBACK all at the same time? In this episode of Conversations About Conversations, I discuss the experience I had with a mentor where we were able to deve...