Conk’s Brain Podcast

My husband informed me this morning that my negativity has hit critical mass. It’s leaking out of me like toxic ooze and infecting everything in the house. I’m like GIR from Invader Zim eternally sitting in the passenger seat of my own life, enthusiastically singing the doom song on repeat. Despite my attempts to banish the scroll from my life, I keep crawling back to the blue light glow of my ele...

Don’t make waves, don’t rock the boat. My first memories - fingers over lips, Shhhhhhhhh. Tip toe tip toe in God’s house - Little girls are sugar and spice and silence. Smile, be friendly, don’t get in the way, Origami fold your dreams so tiny  they fit between the cracks. Bite your tongue until it bleeds, just remember to always hold it back. No one likes a girl who takes up too much space. But I...

Joy is tricky, a complicated emotion tossed around like a hot potato from hand to hand. It's beautiful and full of promise, a bright birthday balloon swelling in your chest. But the thing about balloons is, they pop, Sometimes quite unexpectedly, and tattered pieces fall haphazardly to the ground. I suppose you could go your whole life, never trusting it, always questioning, waiting for the BANG....

I’ve been digging through the archives of my old blog, which I laid to rest in June of 2023, and stumbled on this gem. At the time I was talking to an amazing art therapist through zoom. If you’ve never tried art therapy, I highly recommend it. There is something very primal and healing about digging to the very depths of your soul and letting everything you find there fall out as artistic express...

On my last trip to Kansas City, I picked up a book called “Create a Poem: Writing Prompts for Poets”. I was directed to create a poem about “family” and to use the following words: tree, roots, ancestors, mother, father, children, home, name, tribe, clan. Here is the result of putting pen to paper: These roots run deep in tainted soil. Sins of the father, So many fathers, So many generations. How...

In high school, you were everything I wasn’t. Beautiful, smart, talented, effortlessly thin, loved. I think I envied the love most, the thing I always lacked - fought tooth and nail for, sold away parts of myself to find. You were never unkind, but a sleepover invitation - not on the list for a delinquent like me. No matter how many times I scrubbed, it felt like my face was always dirty from the...

Starting something new is hard; starting something over again from the beginning is even harder - especially if your abilities aren’t what they once were. What’s easy is looking back and lamenting all you’ve lost, getting into a depressive funk, and monstering a bag of chips while binge watching Netflix. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.       Recently, I started walking with my treadmill bluetooth connected...

Fuck, it’s loud in here. Constant voices competing over the noise of what has been, what could be, the terrifying prospects of what might actually be. So many versions of myself, so many ideas, so many dreams, clamoring for attention. They fall over one another like drunken party goers who can’t decide if they want to make love, or war. You call it ADHD, neurodivergent, lazy, unfocused, undiscipli...

Join me on a journey through the chaos of Conk’s Brain – where executive dysfunction meets creative ambition and we seize the day, one essay, one poem, and one reckless note at a time. Let’s carpe the damn diem together! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit conksbrain.substack.com